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shattered

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Dec 20, 2013
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05/2011
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TX
Well, I really did it this time. I did something that made my husband so mad at me that he didn't speak to me for a week, even on Christmas day!

About two weeks ago, he found a stray dog in our drive way. Since we have four dogs already, I assumed, we would care for this stray puppy until we could find a home for it. But, he decided to keep it, even though I told him I couldn't handle raising another dog. It took three days of mayhem - the puppy chewing our fence, constantly getting out of the gate, the noise!, the trampling!, the male dogs fighting(I was afraid I would have to take my male schnauzer in for stitches), my being stuck with this dog for 12 hours a day while my husband was working, before I had had enough. I tried talking to my husband about it, but the only reply was, "he's my dog."

I took the puppy to the park. He's cute, and luckily, I found someone else who thought so too. I got rid of my husbands dog. It scared me to death. I have never had to go against him like that before. And he was so mad! But, why couldn't he understand my dilemma? It is one more example of the ways fibromyalgia has made my life so difficult. Was I wrong to look out for my own needs above the needs of my husband? That dog was terrorizing my life. :confused:
 
Shattered, I completely understand your position. I honestly think you did the right thing, and I also think your husband isn't very understanding. I mean, we have fibro, right? Our partners should make things easier for us instead of making them harder, keeping that puppy was obviously a burden for you. I don't know if I had been able to stand a situation like this for too long. For your husband is so easy to say ''it's my dog'', since he is not the one taking care of it 12 hours a day!

We need rest and understanding :( Have you spoken with your husband yet? I'm sure he can't stay mad for that long. Sadly people who do't suffer from this can't understand what it feels like. Don't worry :) I'm sure things will calm down soon, he'll eventually get tired of not speaking to you.
 
thanks Trellum for your support. I really needed someone to understand. I joined this forum to touch base with others who might understand, because, lately, I have been wondering if maybe I am skewed in my point of view. Spending so much time by myself in isolation, I can't help but wonder if I am still sane? I need to touch base with other people. My husband is talking to me again. He felt bad because he seasoned a roast with a spice that had msg in it and I came down with a four day migraine. He definitely doesn't take my situation seriously. And it can be very trying at times!
 
I'm so sorry! I know this must have been a tough decision for you to make.

I do not have fibro and I think I would've done something very similar to what you did. My mom has fibro and often she has to make decisions like these. She has to determine whats in her best interests because honestly my dad just doesn't 'get it' He will arrange for them to go places or include my mom in things that she doesn't feel she is up to doing. For example, most recently he scheduled for them to have breakfast with a friend. Normally, this was fine but the friend could only meet them at 7:00am! For my dad, this is totally fine because he is an early riser. My mom on the other hand is up all night, she doesn't sleep well so the thought of being up early doesn't appeal to her. Thankfully, she was able to call the friends and rearrange the plans, but she has to do these things often. She has to look out for her best interests because my dad doesn't really understand what she is going through.

Best Wishes to You!
 
Well, I really did it this time. I did something that made my husband so mad at me that he didn't speak to me for a week, even on Christmas day!

About two weeks ago, he found a stray dog in our drive way. Since we have four dogs already, I assumed, we would care for this stray puppy until we could find a home for it. But, he decided to keep it, even though I told him I couldn't handle raising another dog. It took three days of mayhem - the puppy chewing our fence, constantly getting out of the gate, the noise!, the trampling!, the male dogs fighting(I was afraid I would have to take my male schnauzer in for stitches), my being stuck with this dog for 12 hours a day while my husband was working, before I had had enough. I tried talking to my husband about it, but the only reply was, "he's my dog."

I took the puppy to the park. He's cute, and luckily, I found someone else who thought so too. I got rid of my husbands dog. It scared me to death. I have never had to go against him like that before. And he was so mad! But, why couldn't he understand my dilemma? It is one more example of the ways fibromyalgia has made my life so difficult. Was I wrong to look out for my own needs above the needs of my husband? That dog was terrorizing my life. :confused:

I understand your dilemma, completely!

I must say, your husband should feel very lucky to have you.

In your shoes, the puppy would not have been allowed in my house and, if my husband had uttered the "its my dog" statement, his dog would have had to either go with him to work, or his dog would have been at the dog pound before the end of the same day!
 
thanks Trellum for your support. I really needed someone to understand. I joined this forum to touch base with others who might understand, because, lately, I have been wondering if maybe I am skewed in my point of view. Spending so much time by myself in isolation, I can't help but wonder if I am still sane? I need to touch base with other people. My husband is talking to me again. He felt bad because he seasoned a roast with a spice that had msg in it and I came down with a four day migraine. He definitely doesn't take my situation seriously. And it can be very trying at times!

I'm so glad he started talking to you again :) Don't worry, I also spend a lot days in isolation; it's been a while since I don't have a physical job! The only days I go out is because I'm going to see the doctor :lol: So it's very normal you feel this way! I strongly believe this forum will do a lot good to you :) I just love the venting section! I just vented about something... I feel much better :)

Sadly not many people take fibro seriously, since they are not suffering from it, but don't worry this is normal... it sad, but normal! You will have to cope with the fact he might never understand... is like trying to explain a guy what childbirth is like... and the hormones changes, etc... they just can't get it! Since they haven't experienced childbirth and never will. Think of this like that, it might make more sense that way. My boyfriend doesn't take it seriously as well, it is pretty challenging at times!
 
Hello,
I think it is dilemma and you have to sort it out by sitting with him and make the conversation it will help you to build courage.
 
Taking care of one dog when you are sick like that is hard work leave alone taking care of 5!. I dont see why your husband was getting furious given that you are the one left everyday taking care of that dog while he goes to work.

First, it was not a planned dog but a stray so its not like he went to the dog house, choose a dog and then you gave it away. He should be able to understand your situation and be more sympathetic.
 
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