Its confirmed

[Kittykat12]

Hi everyone, i have been lurking behind the scenes but now my diagnosis is confirmed. I have fibromyalgia and ME. I work in a busy department and have recently moved to a new team. Half younger folk half older upto and including my age (61). On the outside i dont look or act my age and i have always been actuve. This has changed leading up to my diagnosis and i am struggling to work part of my job quickly enough aa they changed the system and its a case of learning on the job. However i work for the emergency services part time and have plenty of time off. Im finding i go in and firget the simplest thing so when I do the important part of the job i have to concentrate a lot harder than i used to. I am beung complained abiut by some members of my team despute them knowing im struggling instead of helping they report me and this has knocked my confidence. My team leader states he has no issues apart from the staffs complaints and now i feel whats the point in it all. The simplest task is very hard for me. I have said im more than happy for the team to be made aware, but i feel some look at me and judge what they see on the outside. I cant chamge my role, cant move teams as most are supportive, just feel a right downer. Every time I readjust someone shakes my confidence in there. Any advice on how to get across to them how i feel when i hardly know myself x

 

[sunkacola]

Hi Kittykat,

I am so sorry you are going through this, and understand how it is affecting you.

However, the fact is that you cannot change anyone else's behavior, judgements, or opinions, and trying to do that with a bunch of people you work with is only going to wear you out and fail to produce the results you want. In addition, it could even be perceived by those who don't want to understand as complaining. So I suggest that you abandon that idea entirely.

What you have left is yourself. The first and most important thing is to take care of yourself and do all you possibly can to manage this syndrome the best you personally can. I suggest you read my post at the top of the General forum, which has a lot of advice on this.

Second, I highly recommend that you work on not allowing the opinions or actions of others to shake your confidence or put you into a downer. I know this isn't easy. In fact it's pretty hard, because we are taught all our lives that the opinions of others are our mirror and most of us base our feelings of self worth on that mirror. I want to suggest to you that you don't need to do this. If you know that you are competent, and are doing your best, then there's no reason at all for you to feel less than competent and worthy. Forget what they say. Ignore it and concentrate on doing your job the best you can each day.

Now, there's another aspect to this. If this negativity at your job is stressing you out, remember that stress exacerbates the symptoms of FM more than probably anything else does. If this job is stressful because of these other people, it's even more important for you to silently defend yourself against it by not allowing it to affect how you feel about yourself.

And, if it turns out to be too difficult for you to ignore them and stand on the ground of your self-worth based on what you know you are capable of, and it continues to cause undue stress in your life, I suggest you consider a different job. I know how difficult that is and am not saying this lightly. Only you can determine the balance between work and stress and health that you need to maintain for yourself. Only you can decide how to continue. But it is within you that changes can be made, if they can be made, and not with other people.

Best of luck to you and know that we are here to help and support you.

 

[Kittykat12]

Thank you, i will read your post and digest. Thank you for replying