Just annoyed.

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girlytoshoes87

Active member
Joined
Jan 6, 2015
Messages
37
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
10/2009
Country
US
State
NY
Basically trying to get out of my rutt at being mad at the world. The last 2 weeks has been so bad. I started a New Years Resolution to try and change my life. And and seems like I can't even get to one thing. I live in a very small house. The first floor is a small kitchen, dining room and living room. Now imagine every single room split off with gates and 5 dogs in them. Then add 3 adults. Its crowded and a mess. You may be asking then why do you have 5 dogs. Well decided to foster and sadly I am regretting it because I have been stuck with 2 extra dogs and they have been here for 9 weeks. No one will even help us find them homes. They don't get along at all with our 3 dogs. Next is I have to watch/babysit a loud 2 year old on the first floor. The house is a constant mess. Winter has not been kind to me at all. My joints hurt, my bladder hurts. I have a raging sinus infection. I am guessing its because of all the dogs.. That and Im fat....I can't even exercise. By the time I have time for it Im so tired Id rather just go to bed.
 
I do want to say a few more things. I don't want anyone to just think Im just a complainer. But I just want to share a few things about myself and my life. I love my Family and all the friends I have met over the years. But I know they will never see what my life is like. No matter what I say will help them understand. I have to deal with the criticism from every person I ever meet. They don't see that I have problems so I am not counted. I understand it all.
My whole life I have had problems. All I would do was scream bloody murder. My Mother told me she was afraid to touch/hold me because she thought she was hurting/injuring me(when I was a baby). I wasn't like the other kids. I couldn't jump play or do any gym activities. Because anything I did I had extreme pain in my joints. My favorite thing to do as a kid was ride bike. And because that was the only think I could do. The pain started to get into my lower back,legs and arms which meant that I couldnt ride my bike anymore. The pain wasn't worth it. I got terrible muscle spasms that also meant I couldn't get off my couch. so by 12 I didn't care to do anything. Shorter story I really have a hard time enjoying life like I should. I am a person that goes out of the way to help people. I have always been that way. If someone wants me to help I will do it. No questions asked. I just for once in my life want to have a chance to do things different and have some freedom that I have never really had.
Sometimes I look around and wonder where my life went.
Seems like I always have something getting in the way. And this illness has certainly done that
 
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Hi Hun, can u not find a rehomeing centre for the dogs. Even if you have to wait it will be worth it.and as for life ,it's what u make of it,you have to will yourself your pain will not go away so your going to have to find a few thing so to do to lift your mental stress.i suffer with deep set depression I no how hard it is to tell yourself you can't do anything to change your life. But you can.so your fat so what you can still make yourself look nice .im very Weight but il do my hair and make up.it helps life my mood xx
 
Forget me is so right!
 
From what you described, you need to lighten the load. Forgetmenot is right, life is what you make of it. Have you ever gone to counseling? When life got too overwhelming for me, I started going. It was the best thing I could have done for myself. I have a wonderful counselor. She is positive and insightful and doesn't hold back the punches when needed. I've used her off and on for almost 20 years amazingly. What I'll say is if you try it and don't connect with your counselor, find another one. Look until you find one who you connect with and you feel hears you. You need someone to hear you because it doesn't sound like you've ever had that. I've gotten fat. I still plan on getting into a workout routine. Until then, I have to deal with it and try to make myself feel attractive in spite of it. You'll get there. One step at a time. Take care and keep us posted on how you're doing....
 
The stress of doing all the right things. I was promised help from the beginning with these dogs and finding them a home but know one will. Yeah I don't think counseling is necessary. I am actually good about handling situations. This is supposed to be temporary(so I thought) But since this started its been so stressful. I was okay with it but I can tell I am in allot more pain. And the struggles of my day to day is amplified. I know after they are gone I can get back to everything.
I needed to say what I did. In a way I kind of released all my feeling at once and I have some mental clarity now.
 
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I needed to say what I did. In a way I kind of released all my feeling at once and I have some mental clarity now.

Don't you see, having someone specialized that you can talk to about all your stress and feelings might be exactly what you need right now. My counselor helps put it in perspective. I can only imagine what you are going through. It stresses me and I'm only reading it. I wish you lived closer to me because you would love my counselor. When I go in to her sometimes, I just have word vomit because of everything I was dealing with. If you can be proactive about your stress and health, it might just make everything feel more manageable....Take care of you and the rest will come. :smile:
 
or an hour, or a minute.... :)
 
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