Status
Not open for further replies.

cyberpuppet

Member
Joined
Jul 23, 2014
Messages
27
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
04/2006
Country
UK
State
Wiltshire
I am sick to death of being treated like an idiot who does not have 2 brain cells to rub together and who should not try to involve themselves with adult conversation.

My OH is technical geek - but I have since having fibro taught myself a fair amount about web design and programming and I have an understanding of things that is different from and should compliment his but if I try making a suggestion I get a condescending explanation of how he is failing to fix the problem with the implication that I cannot contribute because I do not understand.

It is not just my OH and not just technical stuff (it is simply a technical matter that has just bought this to a head). There are plenty of areas where my knowledge is more extensive than others but it so often seems that family and some friends view me as totally useless on everything. I have them telling me what design software I should be using when I am the one who uses it and they have no interest in design. I should do this with money, that with washing the other with cooking when actually I am not the one having problems.

Ironically complete strangers have more respect for my knowledge - probably because the only time I am likely to give advice to complete strangers is on the days when I can move relatively easily and talk properly without the fibro fog jumble of not being able to get a word out. Of course when I was able to work and socialize outside of the home I was less dependent on family and close friends for self image input but now it really gets my goat.

My brain does still work.
 

1sweed

Moderator
Joined
Feb 4, 2013
Messages
1,956
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
01/1995
Country
US
State
PA
This seems to be a common attiude from family members and friends who don't understand fibro, and enjoy making us look foolish or dumb, do to our brain fog. My family thinks I am a lazy freeloader, looking for a free ride because I do not work a full time away from home job. I am excluded from family events and know nothing about their lives. I am also told not to bother them on weekends unless I am dying. Then they would show up for the insurance, I am sure.

When it is on the job, I would say your co workers are looking to better themselves at your expense by downgrading your talent. I wish I had a good answer for you, but like so many other problems it is best to be of courage and do your best. Good thoughts and prayers are being sent in hopes that you are able to perform well and know that we understand and care about you.

I hope other members will be able to give you some hope and encouragement to face this problem and stay the course. Fibro steals so many things, but it should not steal your self-respect and talents. Best of luck. :)
 

Trellum

Legendary member
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
1,788
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
04/2011
Country
NL
State
NL
Same happens to me, excepting for my mom and SO, my mom seems to be the one who respects my knowledge the most tho. I'm sorry you have to go thru this, you ought to have the patience of a saint in order to stand this on a daily basis. I really think you need to find a way to cope with this, because I doubt your family will change. You need to boost your confidence and believe in yourself more, once you do you will no longer care what they think about you!
 

joshua minaya

Member
Joined
Aug 20, 2014
Messages
20
Reason
Other
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
US
State
CA
It is very bad when people look down on those that have this ailment as though they are brainless it is even more saddening when we consider the fact that some people even associate spiritual undertone to the illness.
 

GemmaRowlands

Active member
Joined
Jul 29, 2013
Messages
86
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
UK
State
Merseyside
When you have any kind of health condition, particularly a chronic one, there is always the chance that people will start to underestimate exactly what you're capable of, and this is because they worry about you, and see your condition as something that they need to protect you against - so they may start to act as though you're not capable of doing some of the things that you know you really can do. It would help to talk to people who treat you like this, because they only way that they can ever change their views about things is if you make the effort to explain to them where and why they are wrong in the way that they think. This way you can get them to understand what you're going through, and how they can help you without risking being patronising instead.
 

Peninha

Active member
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
71
Reason
Friend
Diagnosis
04/2014
Country
PT
State
Portugal
I agree and I don't see the point why people would treat you like an idiot. Sometimes outsiders can see the situation better than people closer to you.
 

Trellum

Legendary member
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
1,788
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
04/2011
Country
NL
State
NL
True that, it seems strangers are sometimes nicer than those related to us. I have personally found more comfort and kindness in ''strangers'' than in a lot family members combined. Sometimes friends are more like a family than the family itself.
 

Gelsemium

Active member
Joined
Sep 17, 2014
Messages
85
Reason
Other
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
PT
State
Lisboa
That happens all the time Trellum, it seems like people that have confidence with us aren't so nicer, while strangers respect us more, really strange fact!
 

nascarmike

Senior member
Joined
Nov 7, 2013
Messages
227
Diagnosis
06/2013
Country
US
State
rhode island
Wow once again I'm surprised at how folks treat each other from time to time. Don't know why though because I go through the same thing in my house from time to time. It would be a much nicer world if folks would take a moment to put themselves in our shoes for a half day.( they could not handle a full day). Perspective is everything.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top