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RationalSalmonberry

New member
Joined
Dec 7, 2014
Messages
1
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
12/2014
Country
US
State
WA
I was diagnosed with fibro a week ago. This after fighting and firing doctors over the past 3 and a half years. The fourth doctor finally listened, and sent me to a neuro and a rheum, and since everything else was ruled out, and I have nearly all the apparently existing pressure points, fibro was ruled in. I fought against doctors telling me that I, "Seem a little young to be hurting that much!" and won.

Since I also have a long (12 years) psych history, and a lot of fibro meds are psych in nature, for now my psych is managing my meds for Fibro, since that way he can also be careful to not mix bad things in with trying to get my raging depression under control.

I started Gabapentin just a few days ago, and have started to feel inherently evil. I can look at what I just wrote and think that's ridiculous, but never the less, that's still emotionally what I'm feeling. On the advice of my doctor-dad I'm not taking that tonight, and will talk to my psych tomorrow.

I feel so ashamed. I'm so tired of hurting, and being exhausted, and my brain is just a constant drain. I graduated from a prestigious college, as did my sister. She's got lupus, but is now working at Google, where as I'm just a sad sack laying in bed because it's hard to sit up for more than a few hours without getting so dizzy and sore I want to throw up. I feel like I'm just a drain on my wife's resources, and my family. I feel like none of this is going to get better, and that I'm just a drain on everyone.

I'm safe enough for now, and have a support network in place to help keep that true. I just have no one I can talk to who can empathize, only sympathize.
 
Well chin up love ppl here understand and are going through the same as u are.
U have to learn to deal with the fact that your not your sister and even though she's doing great she's dealing with a horrid illness .but that does not mean your pain is any less painful just because it's fibro. Fibro can ruin your life , take your confidents, rob you of a family friends the lot.
Infact most ppl here will tell you the worsted bit is being made to feel this illness isn't as bad as other immune illnesses are.
Trust me in a few years thing will change and Dr will find a reason we get it, and we will be treated like everyone else.but until then we stick together in here.as for feeling evil I do understand what your saying ,I fill with rage sometimes so bad I could burn the world down. I'm on anit depressants I no where mine comes from. But I have to learn to take control of me ,no amount of pills can fix it alone.when I get like that i do one of two things.go in another room and scream in a pillow or beat the crap outta it. Fibro doesn't care if your rich or poor, your not alone and pls feel free to rant away if u need to.xx
 
Brother I feel your pain and frustration. I can look at you post and think I could have written it. Except going through the VA medical system I yet to have any answers. Hang in there! all I can sugest is be honest and open about how you feel physically and emotionally with your wife and family. Share the information you get here and from you doctors with your wife and if possible ask her to go to some of your appointments that way she can ask the doctors question than may help here understand and better support you through this. Is the only way I have made it through each day!

My prayers for you and your family!
Keep fighting the good fight!
 
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