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BrandySpencer

Active member
Joined
Nov 9, 2015
Messages
39
Reason
Undiagnosed
Diagnosis
08/2015
Country
US
State
Mo
1. I believe you:
Instead of its all in your in your head. We all have heard this before and it hurts. Especially coming from a loved one. Saying these words to your loved one or fried is a beautiful gift they will be eternally grateful for.
2. I want to understand:
The best way to to show you want to understand is to do research. Google the illness. Read as much about it as possible. That way you can better understand what they are going through. Research the Spoon Theory. This will give you some idea of how they plan their lives.
3. How can I help:
learning about their condition may also give some insight on how you can help. Even with the simple task more than likely your loved one will need your understanding. Most of us don't like asking for help. If you take the initiative to ask your loved one how you can help, then they don't have to through that difficult process of getting the strength to ask for it.
4. Can I visit,call,email or text?
Not everyone with a chronic illness is home bound some are. But at the same time we all have are good days and our bad days. Either way when you are in a constant battle with your body it makes it hard to stay in contact with family or friends. Which in turn makes you feel isolated. You need to let your loved ones know you would give anything to have your social life back again. Tell them please be patient.
5. Let's do something fun that's wishing your limitations:
Your loved one may have limitations but still wants to live the fullest life possible. They may not be able to do the things they used to do, but they still want to do whatever they can. Don't put pressure on them. Even if you think it should be easy. They will just shut down. Talk to your loved one, work together to find alternatives so they can participate the best they can.
6. This Can be hard for me too:
It's also hard for family and friends to watch someone face challenges. It can be a frustrating process for them too. I think it's ok to share your own concerns with adapting to your loved ones illness it shows your on their side. This can lead to serious stress and dissolution of relationships. It can be hard to accept your loved one has serious limitations and needs help. Being a caregiver is a tough gig. We all need to remember that. And need to make sure we are saying Thank You! When they are picking up the extra slack because we just can't do it.
7. I support you, care about you, and love you unconditionally:
We all need to hear these words. But when your dealing with a chronic illness this is especially true. I often feel guilt and frustration about my limitations and the efforts of others to help to get through life. Going back to # 6 we also need to tell our caregiver how much we love and care about them.
8. We got this:
I have learned managing and living with an illness requires a team effort. It's a collective enterprises, requiring the work of your loved ones, friends and doctors. I think many people may be living a fantasy and think they're independent. Before I got ill, I did. When you are chronically ill, you can no longer live that fantasy. We have to carry each other. We are stronger together and we face the challenges of life as a team.

WE GOT THIS!
 
I will say some this was from an article a read. And some was from personal experience. It has a little bit of both. I hope this helps somebody out there suffering.
 
All true Brandy ...well written.
 
yes, this is so true!
 
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