Looking for support...

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max_attack00

New member
Joined
Jun 17, 2021
Messages
2
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
11/2020
Country
US
Hi y'all,

I've had fibromyalgia for about a year now, was just diagnosed last November, and it's been tough. I was in a car accident that gave me a herniated disc in my neck, and what we think "bloomed" my fibro, cause I started getting the symptoms after the crash.
Some days I feel like I'm going insane trying to remind myself I have a chronic illness and that it's not in my head, even when some of my doctors tell me I'll be cured if I lose weight (bonus points cause I'm a woman -_-)
I feel like a broken record and a broken person cause I'm so tired from the smallest tasks and in so much pain. God, I am in so much pain.
Im just looking for people who know what it's like, and to look for advice on daily living with this illness. I'm trying to take one day at a time, but want to do so with less guilt of existing.

Thanks all.
 
Well, you found a place where many people know what it is like, and we all sympathize with you and are here to support you.

You are not going insane, although at times it does feel like that, I know. And any doctor who tells you that they can cure fibromyalgia is lying because if there were a cure it would be headline news. It has nothing to do with your being a woman or "needing to lose weight". The only thing that is even pertinent about that is that the more weight you carry the harder your bones and muscles have to work, and that can get even harder if you have fibro or a similar condition.

But losing weight in itself is not the thing, and may not even be a part of what you need to do, because a person can be very healthy at almost any weight.
If you are looking for suggestions of things you can do to help yourself, read the post pinned at the top of the General forum, that has advice for people. Try as many of those things as you can, and find out what helps you. All of those things are things that will make you more healthy over all and that in turn will help you to feel better.

One thing that some of us talk about here is acceptance. Even Radical Acceptance. Acceptance of what is doesn't mean giving up, doesn't mean approval of what is, doesn't mean you are not simultaneously working the best you can to change something or to make it better on some level. What it means is not wasting energy on feeling as though this shouldn't be happening, or being upset about it and instead putting the energy into doing things that can help.

You will have days when you can't manage that, due to fatigue or depression or pain. That's OK. Don't be hard on yourself. Rest, cope as best you can, and when you are able to get back to working on the things you can, go back to it. This is our lot, Max. It's what you have to do.

You may feel broken, and you may even be broken. But broken does not mean worthless. It does not mean weak or useless. And broken can be repaired. Not to be perfect as if never broken, but sometimes that phrase "stronger in the broken places" can be true. I know that it is for me, and I have been broken over and over in my life.

there's an ancient Japanese custom called kitsuge. It is the art of taking a broken piece of pottery and mending it with gold, so that the broken place looks more beautiful than it ever did before it was broken. I hold to that image a lot in my life, to remind myself that broken can also be beautiful.

Hang in there, and remember we are here to help.
 
Hi y'all,

I've had fibromyalgia for about a year now, was just diagnosed last November, and it's been tough. I was in a car accident that gave me a herniated disc in my neck, and what we think "bloomed" my fibro, cause I started getting the symptoms after the crash.
Some days I feel like I'm going insane trying to remind myself I have a chronic illness and that it's not in my head, even when some of my doctors tell me I'll be cured if I lose weight (bonus points cause I'm a woman -_-)
I feel like a broken record and a broken person cause I'm so tired from the smallest tasks and in so much pain. God, I am in so much pain.
Im just looking for people who know what it's like, and to look for advice on daily living with this illness. I'm trying to take one day at a time, but want to do so with less guilt of existing.

Thanks all.
Hi max_attack,

I'd had rumblings of symptoms for years, but it was a combo of a horse riding injury followed by a car accident - both with spinal damage - that really kicked off full-force fibro for me too. What you're going through is not in your head, and that good ol' weight loss argument is just so frustrating! It's an irritatingly pervasive dismissal that too many doctors still make - just ignore those docs, and stick with the ones that your gut tells you are being helpful.

You're in the worst part right now, but you're going to get a handle on this thing, and it is going to get easier. Poke around in this forum for loads of great tips on ways to manage fibromyalgia, and hear me when I tell you that you have nothing to feel guilty about. You didn't deserve for this to happen - and grieving is natural - but it's also not your fault, and doesn't make you any less worthy or valuable as a person! Now is the moment to work on self-compassion, because the kinder you are to yourself, the more mojo you'll have to manage this thing, and be present in your life. Take your time, and trust that even though the fibro may be here to stay, the way you're feeling now is not a fixed thing.

I wish you every luck in getting that pain in check, and finding your new stride. We're here for you!
 
Hi @max_attack00.
I, too, have dealt with fibro symptoms for many years. I was just diagnosed a few weeks ago. BAM! I'm suddenly tired all the time and have new symptoms popping up almost daily.
I am a big girl, but am very healthy when it comes to my heart, lungs, blood sugar, etc. Please don't buy in to those "doctors" who use charts and graphs instead of true medical knowledge.
You are in no way to blame for having fibro, just as a person with ms is not to blame for their illness. Be kind to yourself and know that we are here, we care, and you are worthy.
 
I am newly diagnosed too, I share many of the thoughts you are having. It's hard enough to change when you want to, but when it's thrust upon you it's tough to wrap your head around. My generalized pain is under better control after my doctor prescribed Cymbalta, Vit B complex, increasing foods with antioxidants and no more heavy work. The fatigue and brain fog are still a big challenge daily. I am changing my lifestyle, trying to set small goals (like showering!) and resting in between each activity. I volunteer at my local historic village and I enjoy researching, curating the collection, and getting together with other history nerds. I have a weekly art class, which is also a great distraction. I did have to give up my part-time retail job that I loved since standing and lifting were not doing me any good. I am trying to keep up with friends, even if it is just an hour for coffee, working a jigsaw puzzle or a meal. If I am too tired I rest. I try to find just one beautiful thing in each day and take a photo of it - like my hibiscus flower that bloomed. Don't be discouraged as you learn new things in coping with the Fibro, success is a matter of trying again after you fail.
 
I try to find just one beautiful thing in each day and take a photo of it
I think that's a great idea. And I bet you have taken some very fine photos as a result, as well! Good for you. :)
 
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