Loosing it

[catbird]

Does any one else feel like they are going to completely loose it ?I think about hurting myself, have actually beat my head a few times. But feel like I am going to just shut down or fall apart. I have no support,a very sarcastic mate, I just want to disappear.

 

[Trellum]

Catbird, please don't do that! I know it looks so grim right now, but believe me when I tell you those thoughts don't reflect the reality. I know because I've felt that way many times before, and yes, I do still feel a bit depressed from time to time, but after a while it does get easy. Life is beautiful and worth living... don't make a permanent decision based when you are not unable to think things thru properly. I know what depression does... it completely disables your capacity to see beyond that darkness. You must not let that take over you.

If you partner doesn't help... try to talk about this with a professional. I assure you that will help a lot!

 

[AliInMontreal]

Hi Catbird!

I completely know how you feel. I have been suffering my fibromyalgia all my life and at 30 I have FINALLY been diagnosed. All the rest of the time people ignored me when I said I was in pain, told me I was a whiner, an attention seeker, so on and so forth. Often family and other loved ones would roll their eyes and say things like "oh here we go again" when I would complain about pain. Support is SO IMPORTANT though when you are dealing with this type of pain (made worse by stress!) and honestly, and this might seem harsh, you do not have the ENERGY to have anyone in your life who does not support you. What has changed my life is realizing this and shedding the dead weight by telling people in my life that (a) I AM VERY SICK and they must listen to me and if they don't then I will just carry on and not let them get me down, and (b) if that's not enough, drop them like they're hot. Remember that other people's "supposed to"s (you're supposed to be silent, you're supposed to be good, you're supposed to take care of us not need being taken care of) are not your reality and NOT YOUR PROBLEM. You can only take care of yourself and help to support those who love you and at least TRY to understand where you are coming from and give you room to feel better.

That is my advice. It's really hard advice but following this plan has given me peace of mind. I hope it helps you too because peace of mind is important for fibro sufferers. Stress causes flares and incalculable pains and other troubles. It's simply not healthy for us fibro folks to live with stress and shitty social supports.

I wish you all the best!

AliInMontreal

 

[Loftpat]

Catbird, please call your local mental health crisis hotline or your primary care doc ASAP. You truly need some help and support. I've been where you are now and there are professionals who can help you over this hump and you find ways to take care of YOU. Stay as strong as you can and reach out. You are SO worthy of being loved and supported. Hugs. Pat

 

[trayne91]

Sending hugs your way. I know how much it sucks. However, there is so much good to be thankful for. Some good music and ice cream help cheer me up. Maybe some retail therapy. Hoping you feel much better soon. ((((hugs)))))

 

[emilyj]

I have been there and know how you feel, but don't give up! It sounds to me like you could benefit from some therapy and maybe some antidepressants. There's nothing wrong with seeking out professional help when you really need it, which I can tell from your post you really do.

I think about hurting myself, have actually beat my head a few times.

No, no, no! Get yourself some help pronto, please. You'll be so glad you did.

You know what else helped me get through this stuff in my life? There's this Jimmy Buffett song, "A Permanent Reminder of a Temporary Feeling." The song is about getting a tattoo, getting pregnant, that kind of thing. But I realized when I was seriously depressed that my depression was also a temporary feeling! I know it sounds kind of silly, but I found that thought to be very uplifting.

Hang in there!

 

[1sweed]

Catbird,
I know how it feels to be all alone with no support. Please try and find some help as soon as possible from local mental health or even local church pastors who might point you in the right direction. While the symptoms of this disease do make you feel crazy from the pain and sadness, and often loneliness you life is worth fighting for. My family treats me like dirt as well, always telling me to get a job and stop being lazy. It hurts but I try my best to be brave and keep going. Tell us how your doing and we will do our best to offer words of encouragement and cyber hugs, and be here for you as good friends. Please take care of yourself and don't give up.

 

[ambrosia]

Catbird, it will pass. Try not to focus on it, but try to distance yourself from all the dark things that you are experiencing in this moment. Find something that makes you happy, no matter how small it is. Even just watching a funny cartoon can make you smile and you will begin to feel a little better. I have gone through the stage that you are describing so many times. I think I am getting better now with dealing with it. I let "it" be. Let it take its course and not get obsessed with it. As for sarcastic people, who needs them? They don't benefit anyone, especially not your health and wellbeing. Please take very good care of yourself.