Lost but back again

[Jaybo1]

I was on this site fairly often when I first started dealing with having Fibro but then I stopped because I thought I had a handle on the issue. After seeing a PCP, back specialist, sports medicine doc, rheumatologist, 3 psychiatrists, 2 pain management specialists, orthopedists, podiatrist, acupuncturist, and a chiropractor, I thought I had everything under control. I was still in pain but I was once again able to live a somewhat normal life.

It had been 2 years and I decided that I wanted to take myself off of the opiates. I very quickly realized that the pain killers were simply masking my pain and most of everything else were really just a Band-Aid. I want to stop the opiates because my tolerance kept going up and there was no end insight. I did not realize how much they were the main thing allowing me to continue my normal life.

I told my wife I wanted to go off of them and she actually told me not to because she wanted me to keep doing the things that the oxy helped me do. We have 2 little kids and when I am at level 8-9 pain, I can not help much.

She wanted me top go away to a clinic for detox. I feel mainly because she didn't want to deal with me. I truly think my wife will leave me if I can not live a normal life.

I keep pushing myself to hide the pain which only leads to more pain. My mother died last year which was the only person I had that was willing to give anything to help.

I guess What I'm asking is that I need more help, compassion, understanding, and love. My wife treats me like I am a hindrance to her. I know I need the little bit she offers but I cant get it out of my head that there may be someone out there that can give me the support I need.
But, then you run into the issues of how do you date when you can barely walk? I am feeling like I either need to be on opiates or live a lonely depressing life.

I am looking for any words of encouragement, advise, or understanding.

Thanks,
Jason from Baltimore.

 

[1sweed]

Hi there Jason,
I for one am glad you came back here. You were here long before I showed up on the site and so I don't need to tell you anything about how it operates. But I can tell you how much I can relate to what your going through and it is heartbreaking when family can not slow down long enough for you to catch up. I mean that in the sense of walking in your shoes for a day and understand this is an illness that you are struck with, and like all of us wish it would go away so you could have your life back.

So I extend the hand of friendship out to you and hope and pray that your wife sticks by your side and helps you in everyway possible as you battle the symptoms of fibro. You are right to try and get off the drugs your on and try other meds that are not quite so addictive and harmful to your body. I read recently that the government in this country is going to start limiting the amount of opiates that people can get and in fact some folks will not be able to get them at all. Maybe your doctor can try you on something other than those drugs. I take Neurontin and use Execedrin for pain. Also I try to limit the amount of stress in my life. You might want to talk with a local mental health counseler to help with depression. I highly recommand them, those counselars do a really good job just being there for you if you need someone to listen and understand. Plus they can help with family counselling as well. Hunt around until you find one you like, don't settle for just anybody.

In addition keep coming back here and read how others are coping. There are several men on the site now that need to talk about the way fibro affects them, and some were really hoping more men would join in on the forum.

I hope what I have suggested is helpful to you and that I will see your name around the forum a lot. Take care and know we all care about you, so don't give up on yourself.