My world turned upside down

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Loftpat

Senior member
Joined
Aug 12, 2013
Messages
374
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
08/2013
Country
USA
State
ME
If I don't vent, I'm going to explode. After years of supporting my husband and ensuring I had medical insurance coverage for him, caring for him,sending him to specialists, assisting with disability, etc.....he has decided that he needs to move on with his life because it's too hard living with someone who can no longer work and needs help. I feel like the milk train. And obviously he "got" my fibro only when I was still able to work and pay the bills, and he could use his disability check however he wanted. Now that I can no longer earn a good income and have been trying to rely on his help to pay bills (actually pleading), he decides to leave. I am angry and feel so incredibly used. I did all I could for him because I loved him. In retrospect, maybe too much. Now it seems that he loved my paycheck. So, he's gone to find himself, he says. I have used nearly every bit of my personal savings over the past two years keeping a roof over our heads. I even went back to work very part-time a few months ago to cover some expenses because he was unreliable, even though I can barely fulfill the expectations of my employer. I thank the universe that I have that small income and family who can help, but that just ruptures my independent soul. I guess I will have to try for disability, which makes me sad and stressed because that's such a crap shoot.

Okay. Done. Now onto sucking it up and moving ahead. Thanks for reading.
 

cmetryme

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Nov 3, 2013
Messages
1,030
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
03/2008
Country
USA
State
Texas
Loftpat....big hugs to you Darlin! im so sorry you were used that way. the disability, you will have a better chance getting due to the household income has reduced due to him leaving the house. that is a good thing!

your household income must be under $3000 per month according to SS. I was turned down because my wife makes way way way over that. they tell me its been on the books since 1963. i would have to move out of our house and apply for welfare,then apply for disability. what a sad way to use our money.

when i was working and making over $100k a year. i paid into SS at an ungodly amount each month. now i cant get it because of what my wife makes just sucks. I have lupus and thats a you get right in no problem. that just doesnt matyer to them.

sorry for my venting on top of your venting.
 

Loftpat

Senior member
Joined
Aug 12, 2013
Messages
374
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
08/2013
Country
USA
State
ME
cmetryme, Thanks for the support. Lord knows I've paid enough in over the years. I'm going to have find a bit more help. I can live on very little but I can't live on nothing.
 

Ruralchick

Senior member
Joined
May 2, 2014
Messages
325
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
09/2013
Country
US
State
AZ
Oh my, I'm so very sorry. I'm so glad you felt comfortable enough to share your pain here. You are in my prayers. May God give you friends and guidance.
 

Forgetmenot

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Oct 6, 2014
Messages
1,377
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
70/2010
Country
UK
State
Hertfordshire
I can't write down the word Id call him. But he will crawl back when he finds he's no better off without u. And just make sure u slam the door in his face.but make sure u tell him just how much better u feel now his gone, and how stress free u feel then slam the door
 

cmetryme

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Nov 3, 2013
Messages
1,030
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
03/2008
Country
USA
State
Texas
are you in a alimony state? if so he need to just begin to pay you now. im so sorry darlin...hug hug hug hug..as a man thats been through 2 divorces in my life i understand. fortunately for me i had a good job and my 2 ex's had good jobs i nor they had money problems. We are a common law state. just turned a few years back to a alimony state as well.. please get with the state now and get food stamps... you paid for them all your life. please vent it helps. sorry darlin...
 

Loftpat

Senior member
Joined
Aug 12, 2013
Messages
374
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
08/2013
Country
USA
State
ME
Thanks everyone. I've got my list of place to call on Monday. Been working since I was 13, so I've been paying into the system for 44 years and never taken anything back. Guess now is the time. Have a terrific Saturday.
 

Tharper

Active member
Joined
Aug 13, 2014
Messages
90
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
07/2014
Country
USA
State
FL
My heart breaks for you Loftpat. That is awful, I hope disability comes through for you soon. Gentle hugs!
 
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