Nervous Newbie

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JayCS

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I wanted to go in clear minded all about my eupd.
To me that sounds like a contradiction in it itself, as if you are expecting too much from yourself. Heck, it's EUPD, give yourself a break! 🤗
Go in there and put it on the plate about you being worried and stressed about fibro - anyone in their right minds will more than understand, or rather: not understand if you weren't. You're brave, tackling all the stuff, facing the fact that any new diagnosis is stress, and fibro is stress.
 

qsj748

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@JayCS

I think everything is all coming to a head at the same time & Im struggling to process things. Although the doctor I’ve been dealing with has been great he’s listened to me for weeks and arranged everything from tests to meds but he never really gave me even a kick run down about how fibromyalgia affects daily life & what to expect really. It’s like once I’m getting somewhere with one problem/health issue another one pops up & I end up chasing my tail trying to address it all 🤦🏻‍♀️ Also is it just me & I’m missing something but on Google everything I seem to see about fibromyalgia is quite limited in the uk?
 

fimi

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Hi @qsj748, first of all it sounds as if your son has an amazing mum who gives him the main thing any child needs - love.
Regards your education course, I would suggest taking leader/tutor to one side and explaining your condition. If they're good at what they do, they will understand and make adjustments if needed. You're going through a lot, but my guess is that you're stronger than you think you are. Remember we are all here whenever you need us. 🥰
 

sunkacola

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Hi qsj748......
You are dealing with a lot there. And you do not sound to me like a person who does a pity party kind of thing at all. In fact, you sound pretty strong to be working with your child and with all of your own issues as well, so hang in there and know that you have us here to support you.

You do not say why you are dreading taking duloxetine, but if that is the case, I suggest you do not take it. It is not a medication that will help everyone who has fibro (or anything else for that matter), and may people have adverse side effects from it. There are so many things you can do to help you deal with and lessen the effects of fibromyalgia that taking a drug you don't want to take is not necessary. I have linked to my post on ways to manage and control fibromyalgia in my post above. If you have not already done so, please take a look at it and try out some of the suggestions I have there. Taking drugs is not the only thing you can do and is not in my opinion the best approach; although at times they may be necessary and helpful they should only be used as a small part of an overall program you design for yourself involving many different things that will lessen your symptoms and make it all more manageable.

You can live with this and still have a good life. Many of us do. I do. Remember that you really can do pretty much anything you want or need to do.....you may simply have to find a different way to do it. For instance, it may take you longer, so you have to take that into account. You may not be able to do some things as often as you would like but you can still do them. Budgeting your time and energy is necessary. Taking very god care of yourself diligently is necessary. Most good mothers put their children first in everything and this is a good practice if you are fully healthy, but if you have fibro it is not the best policy. You have to take care of yourself first and foremost because if you don't you will not be able to be there for your child at all.

Acceptance of a situation that you don't want and find difficult is challenging, but it is also necessary in order to deal effectively with it. Acceptance doesn't mean complacency, or approval or apathy. Quite the opposite. You have to fully accept the situation you find yourself in, in order to work to change or modify it. If energy is spent trying to fight it, deny it, or feel it "shouldn't" be happening, that is wasted effort and time and emotion that can be better used. So when you say you need tips and info to make you see that you can do this -- the first step is to accept fully that this is your reality. the next is to accept fully that you are not powerless in this situation, and that there are things you can do about it. And the next is to embrace your power to choose and experiment and work with what you have so as to make it better for yourself. Doing this will empower you more, and you will gain confidence every time you find something that works for you. If you can approach it this way, you will find that the feelings of fear, helplessness and discouragement will fade and eventually vanish. This has been my experience and it can be yours as well.
 

Ketch

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Mar 30, 2022
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DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
06/2017
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ND
Jay has a pretty good way of putting all this crazy stuff! I'm more liberal as far as medications go as ALL things I can and have done only relieve a small amount pain, which in the combination I have currently settled on works great all together. Not all of my pain is from fibro alone, so I speak from there. To me, the problem for most people with meds is usually from some form of abuse/misuse. The doctors will not prescribe things they don't think you want to try out, so tell them you don't want that approach right off, if that is your position. They will provide what they think is typical fibro meds if you let them decide the course of action. You decide what is right for you in the end, which is probably the reason behind this forum, doctors aren't up to snuff on fibro. There are side effects to everything we, especially those here. You just have to be content with your state of health and what it takes to get there. And by all means, if that means no meds are NEEDED, so much the better! If you do need them, though, don't fear meds, respect them.
 

sweetkamie20

Senior member
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May 16, 2022
Messages
345
Hello, I wish I had more practical advice but what I do have might change your life as well.

My career has been analyzing children and their families-lots and lots of them. These are 2 things to remember about kids: #1 they often don't need all the things you believe they do, and #2 the biggest asset to a child is a parent who treats themself the way they want others to treat their child.

There are some payoffs to role-modeling this way that are easy to miss. You will naturally show your child how to interpret himself by the way you interpret yourself. The measuring stick you use on yourself your child will be inclined to use on himself. If you love yourself, if you accept your momentary limitations with compassion, you will effortlessly use words, concepts, examples that your child can put to use personally. If your version of success is being something you can't be, you lose a powerful way to help your child be happy with himself.

You can help your child accept his various needs by accepting your own. You can encourage your child to reach for things which are within his reach by reaching within your own. Your attitude, words, encouragement will come from a genuine place.

Of all that I have learned, the most liberating thing is to treat myself the way I treat others. After all, why don't I deserve what I know everyone else does?

My encouragement is to evaluate your parenting by this: is this attitude I have towards myself the attitude I want my child to have towards himself?
 
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