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Carseatmama

New member
Joined
Mar 19, 2015
Messages
9
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
03/2015
Country
US
State
Iowa
:?:
Sooo..I've been dealing with pain for over four years. It started with my pregnancy with my son. I complained about my arms aching and that it hurt when someone simply touched me. A brush against my arm felt like someone punched me with all their might. My OB Doctor kept telling me it was pregnant hormones and because I was older now. I have three other kids and never had this pain. Anyway four years later finally an answer. First I want to complain about my pain. Headaches. .stiff neck and shoulders...my arms get heavy and weak. Sometimes they burn. I cant wear bras because it adds to the pain in my shoulders. I get depressed and spend alot of time in my bed. Not sleeping. .just not moving or being social. I do have good days and when they are good I can actually get things done. And when they are pain free I like to get out and be social. I hate this pain and I hate that it makes me angry and anxious. I hate that it keeps me from doing fun things with my kids. I go to work for just a few hours and it feels like it is days. I just want to be home sitting on my bed. I clean for and take care of the elderly. I have one house that I have to vacuum eight rooms...then for days after my arms hurt and burn and ache...and I'm miserable! I feel like someone beat me up. Everyday simple chores are exaggerated with PAIN! Does any of this sound familiar?
Thanks in advance.
 

Ruralchick

Senior member
Joined
May 2, 2014
Messages
325
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
09/2013
Country
US
State
AZ
Hello Carseatmama,

Of course this sounds familiar. We all have different areas that hurt us. I for one have more trouble with my legs, back, neck and shoulders, but part of it is from chronic pain in those areas better known as arthritis and migraines..

As you stress about the things you can't change your pain and anxiety skyrocket. Please don't be so hard on yourself! There is much at this site to educate you on tips and others ppls posts that may answer questions.

Take a look at: butyoudon'tlooksick. It should help you and your friends/fam.

Of course you are upset about not being able to do all the things you want to do w/your children. That is probably the hardest part. As a grandmother, though I cannot do all the things I dreamed about w/ my 6 grands I try to make the time I do have with them memory moments. Now of course you have the care of your precious ones every day, I'm not trying to make light of that. What I'm fumbling with is to say, you have much to give your kids yet. You need to give yourself some slack. This will take time to find what works for you. You'll have to learn to pace too. Sounds overwhelming but you can do this, one step at a time.
Post again-someone is always around!
 
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cmetryme

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Nov 3, 2013
Messages
1,030
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
03/2008
Country
US
State
TX
Welcome to the forum. Ruralchick gave you great advise! like she said. stress is pain. less stress = less pain. it hard to do anything with FM. just keep trying to keep moving to reduce your tenderness in your muscles. also see my post what is fibromyalgia. please if you can add anything to that post feel free to do so. we are here to herlp you and get you through the good and bad days. feel free to friend rural and myself and ask us questions if you need.
 

suealiceshay

New member
Joined
Mar 21, 2015
Messages
1
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
01/2011
Country
US
State
WISCONSIN
Your story sounds very painful and I am sorry to hear you are suffering.

I think I have fibromyalgia too, although mine started when I was older. I had a difficult menopause and a lot of migraine headaches around that time. Then I am not sure what started the fibromyalgia but I know that about five years ago I began to have terrible pain in the upper back and neck. I had spasms that would not stop. I could not sleep. The doctors told me that insomnia might be the root of all of this. I had sleep studies done and then found that I had sleep apnea. Now I have a CPAP machine which I hate, but it helps some. AFter experimenting with many medications, I have found that I am addicted to muscle relaxant drug (soma) but it does help me sleep. I would like to stop taking it. I also take another drug that is supposed to help with deep sleep. It is also an antidepressant but I am taking a small dose of it.

Anyway, I don't want to bore you with this but the ONE thing that seems to have helped me more than anything is exercise. I realized that after exercising I felt better. It was difficult at first because I was so tired, but I persisted. Now I am trying to do 20 minutes of aerobic per day. I also do some weight lifting with machines. This is the Single best thing to stop the pain from overwhelming me. It relieves pain to do exercise...i don't understand it but it is working. I know that when I am chronically fatigued it is hard to exercise...but start small and add a little ...a minute or two each day until you can do 10 minutes of aerobic activity. You will find that you feel better.

I believe that a healthy diet helps too. I am trying to eat more healthy foods. More green vegetables, less meat, and fewer processed foods.

Good luck to you.
 

1sweed

Moderator
Joined
Feb 4, 2013
Messages
1,956
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
01/1995
Country
US
State
PA
Hello and welcome to the forum. My heart goes out to you as I remember that terrible feeling of loss and the pain that even the slightest touch can bring. I also remember the days I spent in bed to fatigued to do anything and so depressed at the way my life had turned upside down. I am going to offer you a few tips that may help you enjoy life a little bit more and get you on your feet again.
First I wondered is your husband supportive of you and understanding of your limitations? And how do your children feel about their mom being so weak and in pain? The reason I ask this is because those who's families are supportive seem to be able to cope better than those with families that do not understand or sometimes have no desire to try and understand.

Now one thing they say about fibro is that not getting a good nights sleep can make it worse. So what helps is to pad your bed to make it softer, by either buying a foam pad or a cotton fiber or goose feather down filled mattress pad. These pads are not the regular mattress pads, but are 2-4 inches thick which you lay under your sheets on top of your regular mattress. The foam pads can be bought at any pharmacy and run around forty dollars and the other pads I mentioned can be found in department stores or online from fifty to one hundred dollars. they come in all bed sizes and the first night you use one you will notice a big difference in the way your body feels. I actually use a 3 inch foam pad and a 3 inch cotton fiber pad together for my old body, thus the princess and the pea story. The pads will allow your body to relax and sink into complete comfort kind of like sleeping on a cloud.

Next when you bathe if you have a bath tub try putting a cup of epson salts in warm bath water. No one is sure why it works but it can not hurt you and it does relieve soreness in muscles and helps them to relax which in turn helps you sleep better. If you only have a shower some have said that using a sponge and squeezing this mixture over your body can help with sore shoulders and hips.

Next even thou you might not be able to do lots with your family everyone can lay on the sofa or sit in a cushioned chair and watch funny movies. laughter is good medicine for the mind and body. I suggest you have a warm light blanket fresh from the dryer to drape over yourself and join the family for movie nights and a chance to spend time together.

Often when we become so sad from the hurt and pain of fibro, we become very depressed. Who wouldn't? Even when we have a cold or flu we get depressed, so if your going through something for years it becomes a sure bet that our spirits are going to bottom out. Something only you can do for yourself is get some counseling. Now I am not saying your crazy, like the old folks who hear the word mental health counseling used to think, I am saying just finding a person who is trained in counseling can help you learn coping methods and help you see that there are ways you can do mental exercises that will improve your mental health. If you have no insurance to pay for it consider government run centers where the pay is set on a sliding scale set by your income, which can be very little money outlay. Another idea is a pastor as they are also trained in some counseling. I had counseling for a couple of years trying to deal with family issues and my inability to work and am much better for it. Just think about it, okay?

And lastly keep coming here and reading the older and new posts and asking questions. The members here try hard to help others and we are very supportive and care about you. Your not alone anymore. I look forward to reading more of your posts. You can count me as a friend. :)
 

LISAMM

New member
Joined
Mar 17, 2015
Messages
5
Reason
Friend
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
US
State
MN
Welcome! My husband has fibo and also struggles with wanting to do things with his kids, but just being in too much pain. Unfortunately he only has his kids one weekend a month and half the summer so every moment he has them he wants to spend with them. When I first met him and his kids the kids did not understand the pain that he was in. Their mother told them that fibo does not exist and that he fakes the paid because he doesn't want to spend time with them (it was a really bad divorce). Fortunately I have been able to convince them otherwise the past couple of years and their relationship has improved. We try to have "fibo friendly" activities when he is in a lot of pain. The kids understand that he can't really do things outside with them or be active, but we still have lots of fun together even if it is just playing a board game or watching a movie. I'll take the kids and ride bike or whatever they want when he is taking a nap. That way he can get some rest and the kids have expelled some of there energy. It seems to work well for us.

He also suffers from burning sensations in different places on his body. Sometimes he will be just standing up talking to me while I'm making dinner and suddenly he can't stand on one leg. I don't know how any of you are able to deal with such pain and still try to have a life. You are all much stronger then anyone realizes :)
 

kdurning

Member
Joined
Mar 17, 2015
Messages
26
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
03/2015
Country
CA
State
New Brunswick
Welcome! I just got recently diagonised with Fibro and I understand what you are going through the pain and always just wanting to lay around. Most nights after work I just don't have any engery at all to do things with my son and he gets mad but hard for him to understand the pain that I am in each and everyday. I try to keep going and that is the best you can do is move around a little. I am taking medicatin but they are not working and had a bad reaction on the weekend going to see my Doctor tomorrow to see what I can do. The migrianes and back ache, my right side of body losing feeling all the time. I try not to let it get me down but understand that it can be. I find even doing the dishes takes alot out of me. I just keep praying each and every day that ths will get to a point where the pain is managable I know it will never go away.
 
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