Morika
New member
- Joined
- Nov 30, 2015
- Messages
- 1
- Reason
- DX FIBRO
- Diagnosis
- 09/1987
- Country
- US
- State
- CA
Hi everyone,
My name is Morika and I am new here to this forum. It is Monday, Nov 30th and I have not been on any FM forums in over 15 years. I was diagnosed with FM in 1987. I am 53. I am having a most horrible day. One that actually made me reach out here in lieu of my normal habit of recoiling and being reclusive. I am married now for 29 years (happily) and have one son, who is not with us anymore. He passed in Feb 2013 at 28 y/o.
Today I don't want to live. NO, I am not going to kill myself. I would never do that. I am only expressing feelings. It is one of those days that it hurts to breathe. I just wish so very much someone was physically sitting here with me right now having a cup of coffee that HAD Fibro and would just sit with me. No matter how great everyone in my life is...no matter how much they try and understand. They don't. They can't. I just need so desperately another set of eyes that look into mine and neither of us would have to say anything, just that there would be this "knowing." I am in a pissy mood and want to throw things...but can't and probably couldn't because of pain.
Nothing I am saying here is anything new either. That's what's making me disgusted. I am on 3 Norcos so far today and yet the pain persists. PLEASE don't say anything to me about the Norco's good or bad. I have heard it before. I just need someone to hear me. Just to hear my level of pain and just hear that I can't take this anymore. There are no answers. There is no advice. This day will pass and so will this mood. Thank you for listening to me....whoever you are. So so sorry you all have this dreaded illness and my heart is with you all. Thank you.
My name is Morika and I am new here to this forum. It is Monday, Nov 30th and I have not been on any FM forums in over 15 years. I was diagnosed with FM in 1987. I am 53. I am having a most horrible day. One that actually made me reach out here in lieu of my normal habit of recoiling and being reclusive. I am married now for 29 years (happily) and have one son, who is not with us anymore. He passed in Feb 2013 at 28 y/o.
Today I don't want to live. NO, I am not going to kill myself. I would never do that. I am only expressing feelings. It is one of those days that it hurts to breathe. I just wish so very much someone was physically sitting here with me right now having a cup of coffee that HAD Fibro and would just sit with me. No matter how great everyone in my life is...no matter how much they try and understand. They don't. They can't. I just need so desperately another set of eyes that look into mine and neither of us would have to say anything, just that there would be this "knowing." I am in a pissy mood and want to throw things...but can't and probably couldn't because of pain.
Nothing I am saying here is anything new either. That's what's making me disgusted. I am on 3 Norcos so far today and yet the pain persists. PLEASE don't say anything to me about the Norco's good or bad. I have heard it before. I just need someone to hear me. Just to hear my level of pain and just hear that I can't take this anymore. There are no answers. There is no advice. This day will pass and so will this mood. Thank you for listening to me....whoever you are. So so sorry you all have this dreaded illness and my heart is with you all. Thank you.