New member blues...

sudz803

New member
Joined
Jan 26, 2025
Messages
4
I haven't been formally diagnosed, but everything I've read leads me here.
Quick recap... I'm 63. Owned a sandwich shop for many years. It's a lot of work. But I have always been in good health, so not a problem. For reasons of CA payroll increases, utilities, and cost of goods increases, I decided to get out of the business while I could. I decided to sell my bldg and just retire. After 46 yrs in business, it was quite an ordeal. Back in October, I started feeling pain in my legs when squatting and bending down. I finally cleaned everything out of my building for the new owners on January 2. The entire thing was so stressful between getting rid of 46 yrs of memories, all our old customers and employees saying goodbye, then getting notice that 3 current employees were suing my workers comp (which is an ongoing thing that I can't talk about). On the 4th of January, my body just gave out. I could hardly walk, the pain mostly in my legs and arms (which I know I had been lifting more weight than usual). On the 7th, my sis and I took a couple days to get out of town, and we went for a 2mi walk. I barely made it but determination pulled me through. Now, I have to use a chair like a walker to get down my hallway. oh, yes, also I've become incontinent in the last couple months, so I now wear a diaper (which is a must because it takes 3 times as long to get to the bathroom). Everything I've read about Fibro screams me. And I just feel absolutely hopeless. I actually made it to the grocery store last night in my sweatpants, no make up, and wet hair (that probably looked greasy). I was determined to change my diet. I bought alot of fruit, salmon, a couple other proteins, some ensure kind of drinks, yogurt, and diapers (ugh). My total came to almost $200! So I'm going to try this out and I pray I can get some relief and lead a halfway normal life. All I can think of is getting some pain meds, but have read unfavorable views on them.
I truly thought I had cancer until my sis mentioned Fibro. So, I guess I can feel better , considering 3 family members died of cancer.
And my house is still over filled with boxes from work that I need to go through, but I can't even lift them. I live with a guy that has hip pain, and he's no help at all. I have 3 very large dogs that haven't got any quality walks for quite a while now, but they are my necessary unconditional love.

My appt is February 7th. I am praying she doesn't have to send me to a specialist, but what else can I do until then.

My real question is....is there any hope for me?
 
hello @sudz803 and welcome to the forum.

First I want to say please don't jump to any conclusions about what is going on with your body until you have seen a doctor, and been tested for the many things that could be causing your problems. Fibromyalgia is usually not diagnosed until the pain and other symptoms have been present for a minimum of 6 months, and from what you are saying it has only been the past three weeks. what is happening for you could be a result of all of the stress and overwork you went through so recently and it could resolve itself.

Or, it could be something other than fibro, and as I mentioned, there are a whole lot of things it could be, some of which are not permanent, others have effective treatments. So it's best not to think too far ahead until you have been thoroughly examined and tested to find out what is really going on, especially if jumping to the fibro conclusion makes you feel hopeless. I urge you to think positively about this until you see and talk to your doctor. Your appointment is coming up very soon, so just hang in there until you find out what is going on.

As for what to do in the meantime, here are my suggestions:

Be really kind to yourself! You have been through a lot and you need rest. Don't worry about your unpacked boxes; it's not an emergency. Eat healthy comforting food and get as much sleep as you can or want to. Beg off any obligations or appointments that you don't want to do or that you think might be too much for you right now. Rest.

Avoid scrolling the internet! Since you don't yet know what the reality of your body's condition is, don't spend time scaring yourself with possibilities that may not be true. Stress of any kind will add to your problems, no matter what is causing them, so don't read about fibromyalgia or anything else. Instead try meditation, guided meditation, listening to nice music, or just reading a good book. Rest.

Remind yourself that until you have information it is all speculation, and can only do you harm.
And, did I mention: Rest!

Finally, if in fact you do have fibromyalgia, we have y our back here on this forum. We are here to help with support, ideas, suggestions, our own experience, and good humor. You won't be alone. And I am wishing you the very best of luck. Let us know what your doctor says!
 
Thank you so much for your reality check. You're absolutely right that all this research I have been doing is only making me feel hopeless. I read somewhere that exercise is important, but all I want to do is stay in bed. I guess it's time to let my body determine what it needs instead of fighting it in fear I will never get up again. And I'm going to cancel my dental cleaning scheduled for Monday. Thank you again.
 
@sudz803 ...You are most welcome. Don't worry about exercise right now, there's plenty of time for you to figure all that out once you have a handle on what is going on.
For now, I think if you want to stay in bed, and there's no absolutely compelling reason why you cannot, then stay in bed. You've worked hard for many years, you have earned it! It's not like you are going to stay in bed forever, just for a rest. You may find you start to feel a little bit better if you pamper yourself a bit. You deserve it.
And I meant it when I said please let us know what the doctor says.
 
@sudz803
Hi, welcome!
Glad you joined. 🔴Congratulations on a successful career! Kudos for a hard worker who interacted with the public and employees every working day!🔴

You’ve been given good advice regarding waiting for doctors to check on you.

With everything you’ve done and been through recently (and I’m guessing going all the way back to the Covid Pandemic), YOU DESERVE REST !

Rest. Relax —- All of the boxes will get unpacked at some point, unless you have food in them, they can wait 😂
Eat well.
Do some fun, low energy activities. Take naps, if you please.
When your body says, “No.” Listen !
Don’t worry that someone will think you have become lazy. Tell them you’re on vacation, at home, being quiet.

🔷 Retirement is a big change of life ! People who have worked all their lives have to learn to be retired. 🔷

Do let us hear from you. Whether you have Fibro or not, you count.

Best wishes. BHB
@bbbarnard
 
bbbarnard, thank you for the kind words.

I'm finding time goes by so much slower when waiting on an appt! I spent most of the morning in bed, but it's even painful to do that ( I lay on my side and my legs felt they were crushing one another under the covers). But I did manage to get up and organize a few (very few) things. Then, I thought sure it was time for my salmon dinner, but it was only 1:50! Alas, I felt a little more productive anyway.
8 more days until my appt. My Old Dr went to another health group further away, but my brother in law had great things to say about his GP (he's survived 3 bouts of cancer in the last 6 yrs and she's been the one calling the shots), so she must be good.

The bad news... a dear friend developed similar problems a couple or 3 years ago. When I reached out to her, she was encouraging as far as my problems, yet told me that they haven't given her any clear answers for her issues after 2-3yrs. I'm going to find out more details soon...

I will keep you and Sunkacola posted
 
Helloo Y'all! I'm relatively new herre...only made a few posts. I am trying to work through one of my pain goals which is to enlarge my toolie toolkit. One of the things I am working on is distraction...change the foxus from the pain and the anxiety to something more ...in some cases...productive. I have had FMS since I was about 5, and one of the things I noticed when it set out to make itself known is that unknown or uncomfortable situations set this off. I can legitimately say this because it would ping off when I was left at my Uncle Tito's house when I was a little kid. He molested me for years.

I am hoping to gain friends in this forum...and be able to vent, prophetize, and wonderr.
 
hello Elamiras

I couldn't imagine having Fibro since 5. And Uncle Tito I hope is gone from this Earth (and burning below).

Well, I see you have an awfully cute distraction with your cute little terrier. Thank God for dogs. My 3 are such a handful these days, but, I wouldn't want it any other way. My youngest is a 2.5 yo German Shepherd cross, and my personal caretaker. I can barely go to the bathroom w/o him. And although I know he means well, his 80lb mass sometimes hogs the bed and hurts my muscles so bad I have to send him off the bed. I don't know how he knows when I fall asleep, bu, there he is come morning, back on the bed. My other 2 are great dogs also, but they give me space, which is sometimes what I need. The young one, Bear, thinks I just need him. But, that's ok, training is never done, ever.
So when I'm in pain and don't want to eat out of lack of other things to do, I get a handful of kibble and do little training exercises. It's great for him and it's good for me too.


wishing you well
 
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