New to FM

pandoralys

Member
Joined
May 2, 2024
Messages
14
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
04/2024
Country
UK
Hi everyone, I (19y old) recently got diagnosed with fibromyalgia, about a year and a half after an accident and the ups and lows of being properly diagnosed. Since the accident I've been quite vulnerable mentally speaking, with a couple of lows, mostly about the uncertainty of ever healing, and repeatedly crying, which was reinforced when I got diagnosed with FM. I began taking some light mood lifters (St John's wort) to stop the sudden crying every time I think/ talk about it, but nowadays it's not working so well anymore. I don't speak about how I feel lost and puzzled, the crying and all with anyone; I don't dare to honestly.
My family doesn't fully get what FM is about and had a hard time doing so with my accident, and I'm not sure it's the right thing to turn to my friends. But I feel like I need help. My doctor thought I should see a therapist, but I'm uncertain whether to do so or not. Any advice from people with uncontrollable crying ?
 
Just some thoughts---
If you have any close friends, people you can trust, there's nothing wrong with talking to them about this. In fact, it's appropriate to share such things as this with very close friends, and if you don't they might even feel that you do not regard them as close or trustworthy. Sometimes it's a very good thing to allow another person do be there for you. It can make the other person feel good.

But, only you can judge whether or not this is true for the people you know. It depends on who they are and what your relationship is. One thing I have done to make sure I am never being burdensome to a friend, is to ask first if it is OK if I talk about this, and put a time limit on it. So, I might say, "May I have your permission to moan about this for 10 minutes?". If they say no, then I know it's just not the right time for that, for them. If they say yes I actually set a timer and keep it strictly to 10 minutes so they will know I am not going to carry on endlessly. This seems to work well for most people.

As for a therapist.....some people benefit greatly from this, others not so much. It depends a great deal on who the therapist is, and whether or not their methods suit you. I always recommend asking questions, if you can, ahead of time about how they do things, so you can feel them out a little bit and get a sense of whether or not you like them. And, if you don't click with the person don't hesitate to quit and try someone else, without thinking it is your "fault" that it didn't work out.
 
Thing is I once talked a bit about how I felt regarding the aftermath of my accident with my siblings (who are my age/ older) and they just felt awkward/ pitied me at best. I'm a bit scared to talk abt FM w my friends therefore, cuz perhaps it'll be the same and they won't have the reaction I'm hoping for. And honestly it's almost as if I'm ashamed of it...
 
Hi @pandoralys just wanted to say hello
You have had a lot going on in such a a short time. Unfortunately as you may see from threads on here that depression is quite common with fibromyalgia. I hope that being on this forum will help you know that you may feel alone in this, but people on here just get what it's like.
Have you looked at @sunkacola advice for new diagnosed ? Pack with info.

I'll be honest and say I didn't know what fibro was until I was diagnosed. It's hard to explain.
Maybe with a growing understanding and therefore more confidence you can explaining better in time. Meanwhile ask or vent here. It's what the forum is for - share, advise and support. Anything really

Take care
 
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Thing is I once talked a bit about how I felt regarding the aftermath of my accident with my siblings (who are my age/ older) and they just felt awkward/ pitied me at best. I'm a bit scared to talk abt FM w my friends therefore, cuz perhaps it'll be the same and they won't have the reaction I'm hoping for. And honestly it's almost as if I'm ashamed of it...
Hi @pandoralys Welcome to the forums 🤗 🤗 🤗

I sort of get that. I believe I've had fibro since my teens, maybe earlier. (I was only diagnosed in my early 60's). I found if I talked about how I was feeling, it only brought 'picking' from my brothers and I was told I was nuts. I was given to being 'very emotional' i.e. easily teary, so that got me called sissy. The doctor, well, he had 12yo me on heavy Valium for 'bad nerves', as anything emotional was called back then.

So, by the time I hit teens, I'd learnt to say nothing through fear of their reactions and yes, it made me quite embarrassed / ashamed , especially with what I now know to be fibro fog.

Please join in the conversations, it's the best way we support each other. :):)🤗🤗
 
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