kait0220
Member
- Joined
- May 28, 2020
- Messages
- 23
- Reason
- Undiagnosed
- Diagnosis
- 00/0000
- Country
- US
- State
- VA
30F, diagnosised in 2020, but unable to find any effective treatments. Constant pain, terrible fatigue. Just walking my dogs for 20 min is taxing. Washing dishes, painful. Laundry, painful. Hobbies, gone. I especially have chronic hand pain that makes it difficult to even hold a pen for a few minutes.
Now, my partner and I have been together for 7 years. We delayed engagement and marriage to buy a house, get a new car, pay off debts. Its just not a priority to get married right now. There's no issue of commitment. That doesn't stop the constant "when are you getting married" "what about kids" comments. I explain it the same way. Every. Time. Weddings are expensive. Its important to him to have a ceremony with his family, so a courthouse elope is out of the question. And i don't care. If y'all want to pay for it, I'll start planning!!
Now, kids. Oh my freaking gosh. I want to be a mom. I think I'd be a great mom. BUT kids are a lot of physical work. Being PREGNANT is A LOT. I've made it clear to my bf and my family that I do not want to be pregnant. I felt this way before my fibro and its even stronger now. I don't care if someone thinks its magical. To me, it sounds horrible. Painful. Miserable. I want to adopt. I think adoption is wonderful. Why can't my family understand that with a debilitating chronic condition that being pregnant, giving birth, raising a new born would be too much for me!? Its my decision anyway!! Back off! My sister even tried to pull the whole "adopted kids have problems, its expensive, you won't love them the same" BS which I shut down but she persists. My mom acts like she's fine one day but then not cool with it the next. Y'all. Why can't anyone understand or just accept my choice? They even get my bf to question my decision because he then says he wants "his genes" to pass on. I said we can have a surrogate and he can be on newborn duty. I get that motherhood is a sacrifice but I'm not ready to make that sacrifice. Any ladies having a similar problem? Or gents that know that being a new father would be too taxing on you right now?
"My ClOcK iS tIcKiNg!!!"
Now, my partner and I have been together for 7 years. We delayed engagement and marriage to buy a house, get a new car, pay off debts. Its just not a priority to get married right now. There's no issue of commitment. That doesn't stop the constant "when are you getting married" "what about kids" comments. I explain it the same way. Every. Time. Weddings are expensive. Its important to him to have a ceremony with his family, so a courthouse elope is out of the question. And i don't care. If y'all want to pay for it, I'll start planning!!
Now, kids. Oh my freaking gosh. I want to be a mom. I think I'd be a great mom. BUT kids are a lot of physical work. Being PREGNANT is A LOT. I've made it clear to my bf and my family that I do not want to be pregnant. I felt this way before my fibro and its even stronger now. I don't care if someone thinks its magical. To me, it sounds horrible. Painful. Miserable. I want to adopt. I think adoption is wonderful. Why can't my family understand that with a debilitating chronic condition that being pregnant, giving birth, raising a new born would be too much for me!? Its my decision anyway!! Back off! My sister even tried to pull the whole "adopted kids have problems, its expensive, you won't love them the same" BS which I shut down but she persists. My mom acts like she's fine one day but then not cool with it the next. Y'all. Why can't anyone understand or just accept my choice? They even get my bf to question my decision because he then says he wants "his genes" to pass on. I said we can have a surrogate and he can be on newborn duty. I get that motherhood is a sacrifice but I'm not ready to make that sacrifice. Any ladies having a similar problem? Or gents that know that being a new father would be too taxing on you right now?
"My ClOcK iS tIcKiNg!!!"