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stardisgate

Active member
Joined
May 26, 2014
Messages
51
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
USA
State
Arizona
I have been gone a while, but I am back. I have had a rough past couple weeks. I recently started up my weigth loss journey again. Only to have one thing after another happen. I am in a "weight loss support group" with all women who are overweight. They say I am making too many excuses, because of medical shit.
One of those was barely having any food in the house, because my dad ate all my food. ( I live with parents right now and I am on state assistance) So rather than just eating unhealthy, I ate what we had, but portioned it out. It's not like I ate unhealthy.
I made a choice to lose weight, but I wanted to focus one thing at a time. The way I look at it is, if I do too much at once, I am going to lose intrest. So I wanted to focus on eating healthy first. Mostly because my previous doctor (looking for a new one as mine doesn't take state insurance) advised me that with all my medical issues, it would be best to stick to stationary equipment until I dropped 30 pounds. I also have ankle issues, so even if I walk on it more than I should, I hurt them very badly.
It's not like I completely gave up, I just decided to focus on eating as healthy as I could. I portioned out my meals and dropped 16 pounds doing this. I was waiting to purchase healthy food, when my food stamps came in. Tell me how I am making excuses?
So then I talked to some friends. One is a personal trainer and the other a weight loss coach. The friend who is a weight loss coach advised me that when she gets clients who have fibromyalgia, she recommends they work out by swimming or using stationary equipment, if they have it available, before walking. My personal trainer friend advised that since I have an elliptical, I should do that for 10 minutes everyday for a month, only weighing in, once a month.
I had to weight to start the elliptical, until I got permission to use it in the living room. I was originally going to move it to my room, but my dad said I was going to be switching rooms and he didn't want me bringing anything else in my room. So I talked him into letting me use it in the living room. I just have to move it back and forth. Which I can do. My "support groups" reaction? I was now making excuses and should be walking 30 minutes a day. According to them, I should also be pushing past any pain I have, no matter how bad it is. Also, with 10 mintues a day , I am not going to lose anything.. .Do they think I am stupid? I am not expecting to drop 50 pounds in a day. I am building up, because I do have medical issues.
So anyway, I started the elliptical and then my fiance and I went to a hotel. We were expecting to rent a car the next day and that didn't work out. In the end, I ended up walking a total of 7 miles that day. Yes I took the bus, but there were places we had to go (which is why we orignially wanted to rent a hotel). I ended up hurting my ankel and pushing myself too far.
Now I am having a bad flare up. I am still maintaining a healthy eating plan. I just can't do much. I know people are so different. This is the first flare up I have had in a while. I am in a hot room and we are working on getting me into another bedroom in the house that is currently storage. My support group, isn't being so supportive. They think I should be working out to the extreme. I am tired and exhausted, even though I am sleeping almost 24//7.. My pain is so bad that it feels like someone is driving nails up and down my back. We know though, this is what you get when you have fibro.
Everything I find online, says that during a flare up, you should relax as much as possible. I do work out when I am not having a flare up, but right now, I can't even walk to the bathroom with out feeling like death. But, my support group says things like " I looked up your condition and it says that physical activity helps".. Uh.. yeah.. it can, but not during a flare up. Then I get the question "are you getting enough sun?" WTF? I live in Arizona.. It's almost 110 on some days. I do go outside, but being in the heat too long can be a trigger.

Right now, I need positive support. Not people telling me I am making excuses. I need people to understand what I am going through. People who are going to motivate me and not tell me that I am not going to succeed.
 

nascarmike

Senior member
Joined
Nov 7, 2013
Messages
227
Diagnosis
06/2013
Country
US
State
rhode island
Hang in there we know what you are going through. The "support group" sounds well intentioned but out of line in my opinion. Do what you can but be smart about it. You know how far you can push yourself. Good luck.
 

stardisgate

Active member
Joined
May 26, 2014
Messages
51
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
USA
State
Arizona
Thank you. I am doing my best. It's hard. The thing is, the other girls in the group now are using me as an example on what not to do. I keep seeing the posts "good job this week for so and so and so and so for not letting excuses bring them down". Then once in a while, they will call me out, seeing what I am doing, and giving me advice on working out... but their advise is always the same. Yet another girl in the group wasn't working out for a month because of medical issues and everyone babied her. At this point, I don't even want to share with the group what I am doing. I just want to do it on my own, or create a group with people who have medical issues.
 

1sweed

Moderator
Joined
Feb 4, 2013
Messages
1,956
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
01/1995
Country
US
State
Pennsylvania
Hi there and welcome back. I am not sure how I can help other than to say we all have our limits, yet we don't always follow our own advice, meaning if we are with others we might tend to push beyond our limits and not give in at the moment to fibro, thus feel more a part of something and feel strong, but in the end pay big time for forcing our body to do more than it possibly can. I would say try a warm bath with epson salts in the water before bedtime. If relaxing on the sofa, throw a light blanket fresh out of the dryer on your body. Try mediating focusing on relaxing each part of your body. Vibrating pads that feel like rollers moving up and down your body help with sore muscles.

Back away from your group until you feel confident you can handle their advice. It is okay to go it alone and do what you feel is best for yourself. That is the tricky part of fibro, only you can feel the pain and know of these hurts personally, as it does not show up much to other people and we all react differently to its symptoms. Give yourself a break from stress and worry.

I am glad your back and sharing how life is going. I hope this was of some help to you. :)
 

Trellum

Legendary member
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
1,788
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
04/2011
Country
NL
State
NL
Hi there! What a nasty motivational group! They shouldn't be so darn judgemental! Jesus! Isn't like you are eating and eating with no control! You are just not able to workout right now. I also had the same issue, I had to drop the pounds by just dieting the first few months. So yeah, it can be done! After I lost enough I could start walking and now I workout at home. Just work your way there, this group you are part of doesn't seem to be helpful at all. If you ask me it just seems they're putting more unnecessary pressure.
 

GemmaRowlands

Active member
Joined
Jul 29, 2013
Messages
86
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
UK
State
Merseyside
I know how difficult it can be to lose weight at the best of times, never mind when you have other things to worry about at the same time. One of the things that you have to remember is that you need to keep yourself as busy as possible at the times when you would normally snack. Find something to do to keep your hands busy - perhaps knitting or even colouring (and yes, I am being serious, it worked well for me anyway). Once the pounds start to come off, you should find that your motivation improves. It can be so difficult, and there are many people who never manage to lose the weight that they need to. Please don't be one of those people, because you deserve to have a body that you can be proud of, and one that you are comfortable in.
 
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