KayRock
New member
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2020
- Messages
- 2
- Reason
- DX FIBRO
- Diagnosis
- 06/2015
- Country
- US
- State
- CA
I know it sounds like a crazy thing to complain about. Who would complain about someone being helpful?
But pretty much any time I break down and talk about my health, or get pressured into it because "fine" is not going to be accepted as the answer to "how are you?" I tend to get inundated with CURES.
Everyone knows a doctor, or a shaman, a clinic, a therapist, or a magical healer who deals with people "like me" all the time and cures them. Everyone knows a treatment, a drug, a poultice, a magical elixir, a diet, a pill, or some special water that totally healed their dentist's receptionist's cousin's neighbor's daughter. Everyone thinks I am terrible at google and cannot possibly have fully researched my own health, and they read an article that will fix everything for me. Have I heard about...? Have I tried...? Have I considered....?"
If I dare to resist driving the 200 miles to see the magical healer or pay the 20K for the weeklong healing retreat, I am RESISTANT to getting help. It fortifies their secret suspicion that maybe I did this to myself, or it's all in my head. I see the pursed lips. The slowly shaking head. The complete disapproval at my lazy refusal to "do what it takes" to get better.
How can they possibly think I or anyone like me has not tried everything and used every financial resource at our disposal in search of leading a normal life? The money I have spent... the time I have spent, the travel, the weird diets and drugs and injested things and applied things, the desperate stabs at finding maybe the rare doctor who actually wants to deal with something that can't be operated on or medicated... I want to scream at the very idea of trying one new miracle cure. Don't they think that if that clinic in wherever, Thailand had the cure for autoimmune and/or fibromyalgia the entire world would be flocking there? That if a new cure/treatment were developed I wouldn't be the first person in line to try it?
And yes, I get they're just trying to be HELPFUL, but after a while, it gets to the point where I just lie about how I'm feeling so as to avoid the blame-laden, shame-inducing, endless advice. At which point I hear "Oh great! I knew you'd eventually get over it!"
I would probably weep with gratitude just to hear the words "That's awful! I"m so sorry you're feeling that way. It isn't fair!"
But pretty much any time I break down and talk about my health, or get pressured into it because "fine" is not going to be accepted as the answer to "how are you?" I tend to get inundated with CURES.
Everyone knows a doctor, or a shaman, a clinic, a therapist, or a magical healer who deals with people "like me" all the time and cures them. Everyone knows a treatment, a drug, a poultice, a magical elixir, a diet, a pill, or some special water that totally healed their dentist's receptionist's cousin's neighbor's daughter. Everyone thinks I am terrible at google and cannot possibly have fully researched my own health, and they read an article that will fix everything for me. Have I heard about...? Have I tried...? Have I considered....?"
If I dare to resist driving the 200 miles to see the magical healer or pay the 20K for the weeklong healing retreat, I am RESISTANT to getting help. It fortifies their secret suspicion that maybe I did this to myself, or it's all in my head. I see the pursed lips. The slowly shaking head. The complete disapproval at my lazy refusal to "do what it takes" to get better.
How can they possibly think I or anyone like me has not tried everything and used every financial resource at our disposal in search of leading a normal life? The money I have spent... the time I have spent, the travel, the weird diets and drugs and injested things and applied things, the desperate stabs at finding maybe the rare doctor who actually wants to deal with something that can't be operated on or medicated... I want to scream at the very idea of trying one new miracle cure. Don't they think that if that clinic in wherever, Thailand had the cure for autoimmune and/or fibromyalgia the entire world would be flocking there? That if a new cure/treatment were developed I wouldn't be the first person in line to try it?
And yes, I get they're just trying to be HELPFUL, but after a while, it gets to the point where I just lie about how I'm feeling so as to avoid the blame-laden, shame-inducing, endless advice. At which point I hear "Oh great! I knew you'd eventually get over it!"
I would probably weep with gratitude just to hear the words "That's awful! I"m so sorry you're feeling that way. It isn't fair!"