Pain management apt: excitment, anxiety, and fear

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Distinguished member
Sep 15, 2023
I have my pain management doctor appointment tomorrow. Part of me is thrilled and about time as this was scheduled in October. There is also a lot of anxiety and fear of repeats of past experiences with pain management, or I should say lack there of. They resulted in psych consults, and pain rehabilitation program. There wasn't help or support. I hope tomorrow will be different. I hope tomorrow will lead to physical therapy and treatment for all of the tendinitis issues found on my MRIs. I also need some medication that can be taken as needed. (Please no judgments or education or opinions on this in your reply. I respect your position, please respect mine. I'm very well educated and have been on both sides).

I want to be able to live a better quality of life. I want to have some mobility and stamina restored in my life. I don't want my legs to get tired out after two aisles in the grocery store. I want to be able to go on random car trips to go find great BBQ. I want to feel confident that I can go out to eat and enjoy my time, not having to ask if it can be to-go instead and for the check. I want to be comfortable accepting and going to gatherings with family or friends. I want to be able to get back on my row machine. I want to be able to get out of this bed, this house, a dream it would be to take my dogs for a walk.

I don't expect or even want a pain free life. I want a life where I'm functional. Where I can get back to being able to cook and start back on my autoimmune paleo diet. I want a chance to be able to do ALL the things that I know will make me better. I can't wait to be able to take the dogs hiking in the woods again!

I need physical therapy. I need to heal the tendinitis in my gluteus, hip, knee, ankle and feet. I'm sure MRI arm scans next week, 4 hrs Monday night and 4 hours Tuesday night, will show more tendinitis in sholders elbows and hands.

I need to be strong during tomorrow appointment and make sure I'm being heard and listened to. I need to speak up. I need to be forthcoming on really how drastically my quality of life has declined to being mostly bedbound and housebound. I need them to know this isn't psych issues, I've done a lot of work and am in an incredible state with that and understanding it. Tomorrow I will stand in my truth with power and advocate for what is and isn't needed. Tomorrow I will be strong. Today I rest up to have the energy for tomorrow.
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