Partners Husbands and Wives

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diamond

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Joined
Sep 18, 2015
Messages
1,548
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DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
01/2008
Country
UK
State
anywhere
Hi,

I know we are all different ages and all different situations...some married some living with a partner some single.

For any of you how does it make you feel when your partner goes out socially or persuing solo hobbies several days a week.

I have always encouraged my partner with his activities but how much is too much.....when would you start to feel a bit hurt and neglected because your health means you cant occupy yourself endlessly alone....well only in ways that are not particularly fulfilling to do repeatedly.

I so miss my independence of being able to drive and take myself off anywhere i choose or go for walks and even though i have always loved time to myself i am less able to be busy so the time can drag.

All my friends are physically able bodied and many have drifted away over the years.

I know some of you work and i am sure appreciate alone time to rest and recouperate so it would be interesting to hear how fibro affects your relationships socially.
 

TipBill

Senior member
Joined
Sep 8, 2014
Messages
224
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
03/2014
Country
US
State
None
I am lucky in that both my husband and I are retired. He also has several health problems. Bad legs, bad knees, poor circulation, asthma and so forth. He is 62 and I am 61. Due to our poor health we don't go much of anywhere. We sit at home most of the time watching TV or reading. He almost never goes anywhere without me. He has a nervous condition that makes it difficult for him to drive so I do most of the driving. That is one thing I can still manage but I can't drive long distances without becoming fatigued. So we spend most days out here in the country by ourselves. Most of the people we socialize with are retired as well. We will make it into town once or twice a week to buy groceries or meet friends for lunch. I have to admit that there are days when I get lonely. After 42 years of marriage there is only so much you can talk about with your partner.
 

Forgetmenot

Legendary member
Joined
Oct 6, 2014
Messages
1,549
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
70/2010
Country
UK
State
Hertfordshire
I don't have anyone.id love someone but I can't see it happening.so I look at myself and say well,if I wanna lay down I can .if I don't wanna go out I don't have to.i have my pets.and my lovely little girl.
Finding someone who understands you don't want to spend a night stuck in a pub ,or whatever is like the devils complaing it to hot at work ,just not going to happen.
 

diamond

Legendary member
Joined
Sep 18, 2015
Messages
1,548
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
01/2008
Country
UK
State
anywhere
Made me smile forgetmenot ..men eh!!!.I bet there is some lovely quieter guy out there for you...if only for shared interests and cuddles on the sofa and drives in the countryside taking your little one out...not sure if there is countryside in your part of London!
 

DK_engineer

Very helpful member
Joined
Jun 20, 2015
Messages
579
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
05/2015
Country
US
State
OR
My husband has always been supportive of my interests, and I try to be supportive of his. To be honest, though, he has become a bit of a homebody. I tend to go out more regularly than he does.
 

diamond

Legendary member
Joined
Sep 18, 2015
Messages
1,548
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
01/2008
Country
UK
State
anywhere
Its interesting how all of us are in differing situations .
 

Ruralchick

Senior member
Joined
May 2, 2014
Messages
325
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
09/2013
Country
US
State
AZ
We also are retired. We have 2 daughters and 6 grands, soon to be 8! (both daughters are pregnant and both due in Jan.!! They all keep us pretty busy, but my limitations really are a bummer. Hubby is quiet and has never desired friends.(he is a real family man though). I like to socialize a bit more but find it hard now. My BFF died last year in Oct. Throughout all this health misery I have been reminded why I married such a man; we were friends first! The gentleness I was attracted to from the first is still there 41 years later. He has his moments! But so do I.
 

diamond

Legendary member
Joined
Sep 18, 2015
Messages
1,548
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
01/2008
Country
UK
State
anywhere
Ah nice story Ruralchick so glad you have such a happy marriage and like you say friendship is the best foundation.....congratulations on such a large family and the fun of the New Year additions. Loosing your bestie is hard for anyone...maybe more if she stuck by you through fibro...so sorry for your loss .... nice to hear from you.
 
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