Serious stress

[sunkacola]

I worked hard all of my life and saved money as best I could. Eight years ago I finally bought a little piece of land with a house on it and views of mountains. It is out away from town in a very quiet and peaceful place, where most of the time all you hear is birds and the breeze, which is perfect for me because I absolutely require peace and quiet in my life. I have put my heart and soul into this place. I have totally landscaped the place, by myself, using just a shovel and wheelbarrow, creating watershed management and planting and nurturing trees and shrubs, watering everything every day during the dry times. I have redone the walls of the interior. I put literally thousands of hours into this place.

And now.....

I just found out that there is a possibility that there will be an interstate highway put in very, very close to where I live. I am close enough to the proposed route that my life will be utterly destroyed, but not close enough that they would have to buy me out, and my property value would be zero in terms of finding anyone to buy it. I don't know what to do. I am totally stressed out about this. It is not set in stone that this will happen, it is still only being discussed. But I don't know if I should try to sell my place now while I still can and get out, or what. If I do, and then they don't put in a road after all, I will have lost my home for nothing. If I wait, I may end up with my life ruined, and how would I buy another place if no one would buy this one. I have worked so hard to set things up for myself so that I would have a permanent home and could manage everything entirely by my self physically and financially and now it is all threatened.
And I will never again be able to do the hard physical work that I did here before I developed fibro and my other issues. I am beside myself with worry and stress about this.

 

[diamond]

oh noooooo sunkacola just after all our discussions about depression and now this devastating news! Is there anyway you can investigate how far along the way these' discussions' over the interstate are or find out from your local governor or who ever is in charge of these planning matters the likelihood of it going ahead?

Im sooo upset for you as i like you treasure the peace and quiet and clearly this lovely home youve made is your comfort blanket and safe haven.

How close would the interstate be? I keep my fingers crossed that this is just talks and that planning will be declined.

We had a motorway ( UK word) built about 25 years ago instead of a small meandering road and although its not visible outdoors you can hear the humm of the traffic at peak times from my home.

Would it be so close as to be visible and noisy?

I can understand your stress...try and if possible investigate via estate agents or realators what sort of value you would get for your property..im assuming where ever you live before your property was sold it would come to light that the interstate is a possibility anyway?

I dont know your legal system for selling property but here out lawyers do what we call searches for any possible developments nearby..so housing roads etc.

if you could search the internet and see what potentially could be bought for the same money as your property might fetch maybe you could find something equally nice..i know this would be very hard especially with fibro.......but your place sounds so idyllic and like you say you are set up financially and can manage physically.

Im so sorry for the bad time you are having..i send you a big big hug...and am keeping all my fingers and toes crossed for you this is all just talk.

Would you say there is need of interstate where they are talking of putting it..has there been talk before and it refused etc?

 

[sunkacola]

Thanks, Willow. There is absolutely NO need for this road. None. It is purely politically motivated, and someone will get their pockets lined if it goes through. It is possible that I am already completely screwed because as you say it is possible that no one would buy here, already. I may already be doomed. Honestly I do not know what I will do or where I could go; my life may be completely wrecked. I don't know. The road if they put it through would be close enough to be visible from my driveway and I would hear it all the time. I could not stay here. I knew there had been talk of it before I bought here but I investigated it and talked even with people at the department of transportation and they all said it was very unlikely. But one person in power has been pushing it for the past several years and so now it is once again being planned. There is still a chance it might be put elsewhere or be defeated. But I don't know how. Certainly, they are not going to listen to me. They don't care if it would ruin my life. thanks for your support.

 

[diamond]

I really really hope its doesnt go through..if there is no real need maybe this one person in power will not get enough support to push it through..plus maybe this person in power will not stay in power long enough as i am sure like in the UK talks can go on for years with for's and against's and things that seem almost certain then get suddenly shelved..when costing are done.

IT must be horrible living with this hanging over you..no they wont listen to one person but if its not necessary and most countries are still not totally economically secure i wonder can they afford to spend government funds on unwanted interstate.

I can only hope for you this is one of those times..when something is mooted and then dies a death as totally unfeasible.

Try and enjoy your place as it is right now..and maybe trick your mind into thinking there is a good chance it wont happen until you know otherwise.

I hope this doesnt sound silly but just trying to find a way to help you get the stress down a little.

 

[sunkacola]

Thanks, diamond.
I appreciate your words of support.
Right now I am so freaked out that I can't even sleep. I haven't slept much for several days now.

But I am trying to find out what groups or individuals may be opposing this so I can join them. I can't start a movement or opposition myself....I am just not the type. but I can join one if there is one. If I can take action that will help. Meantime, once I am able to do so I am going to start looking to see if there is another place that I could buy and move to. IF I could sell this place, and that is a very big if. I don't want to move but it would be better to leave now than to wait until the freeway is a sure thing and then not be able to sell my place. I know if I move and then it doesn't go through, or else it gets put elsewhere, I will have lost my place for nothing but the alternative is too dreadful to contemplate. I am even thinking of leaving the state. But my stress level is so high that right now I feel paralyzed and unable to do anything except send out emails trying to find someone who is organizing to oppose this.

 

[Lou38]

Hi sunkacola. I'm not sure I can add much to the advice others have already given but I just wanted to wish you luck in either this not going ahead or with finding others who can back you in this. Stress really doesn't help but I'd feel exactly the same if I was in your position *hugs*

 

[diamond]

yes hugs ..take things slow..bit by bit.

Get a valuation on your property....talk to the estate agent when you feel up to it and they may also be in the know about the freeway.

If you did sell at a reasonable price then the world is your oyster and you never know you might find another perfect location......please come back and vent and let us help if we can..

 

[sunkacola]

Thanks so much for the support, everyone who has responded.
I am probably going to talk to a real estate agent about the possibilities. I can get advice, if they think I might use them to sell the house....and of course, at the same time to buy another one.

Thanks for saying such encouraging things, diamond.
It is true....you never know when the tide will bring in just what you need, or what might be around the next corner. Every time that my life has crashed down around me ...and it has happened a few times... I have always come out of it OK in the end, even if the OK part doesn't come until years later. So maybe I will this time as well.
but...
What worries me most is that all the previous times, I was younger and I did not have fibromyalgia and degenerative disc disease. All the hard work I put into this place by myself....I don't know if I could physically do it all again if I had to start over. I fear I could not. I could do it emotionally, but not so sure my body can do it any more. And if I lose a bunch of money I won't be able to make it all back again the way I did when I was younger. I cannot even work full time any more; part time is hard enough. I am a very strong person, inside and out, but I am 63 and it gets harder to do stuff, harder to bounce back, harder to start over, especially if you are entirely on your own without anyone to help. And I am not a person who can live just anywhere. I HAVE to have a quiet place, peaceful, away from other people. Otherwise, my life is not worth living, physically or emotionally. I guess I will just have to keep putting one foot in front of another.

 

[diamond]

Any update on the interstate sunkacola...how are you feeling about it all. I hope the stress is not quite so high as it was when you started this thread.

 

[sunkacola]

diamond, thank you so much for your concern and for checking in!

There is no way for me to know at this point whether or not this will happen. There has been a petition against it and meetings and letters written and a protest made by the residents whose lives and homes would be destroyed by it if they build it here. But it will probably be a year or more before we find out whether or not all that has had any effect.

In the meantime I am very seriously thinking about moving elsewhere. On top of the freeway thing, there are other reasons, like living somewhere that I actually could grow a garden would be nice. And maybe it would be good to have new scenery, some place where everywhere I look I am not reminded that I was happy here until four years ago when my partner died. I have been so unhappy and depressed for the past 4 years, I don't know, maybe another place would be better. But I have really no idea where to move to.

 

[diamond]

I think maybe you are right sunkacola...from several points of view..like you say maybe new place new start....maybe a lovely garden to potter if like me you love plants and nature..id not presumptuous maybe you should think about advertising and selling sooner than later....so maybe a chance to get the best price even if temporarily you rented somewhere after selling.

That way you could take your time with cash in the Bank to choose a new property in lots of locations and would be a very attractive buyer with no property waiting to sell.

I wish you luck and hope it all works out..maybe you might even make a new friend in a new location as i know you are lonely at times.

 

[sunkacola]

thanks, diamond.
I think I would do just that, if only I could figure out where to move to. But I just don't know where to go.

 

[diamond]

Do you have any preference for climate that might suit you or any family or old kind friends anywhere that might draw you to a location?

I don't envy you this is a hard and very big decision! It definitely gets harder to keep starting over the more big knocks in life you take and fibro can make such huge changes especially when you have no help so much more daunting again...and age too..i'm in my 50's and am nothing like as resilient.

i cant imagine how i could physically manage to pack up and move house or even go an d view lots of properties especially if you are looking a long distance relocation...so in a way i hope the interstate gets a big thumbs down soon so you can relax about this horrible issue that must play on your mind.

 

[sunkacola]

thanks, diamond.
but the thing is that if I wait until it is decided, then my property value might be zero and then I would be stuck. and in a horrible place.
I cannot handle noise. noise is stressful to me and increases all of my problems, physical and emotional.

so it may be better to leave anyway.
I don't really want to live in the desert any more. But somewhere I could grow a garden. And it cannot be really cold in the winter; my body can't take that.

So, somewhere not too terribly cold, where there aren't a lot of people, where there is a lot of public land for getting out into nature, where it rains enough that the soil is not concrete, but doesn't rain constantly like western washington or oregon. been there, done that, hated the gloom.

I don't have any friends or family somewhere that I would want to live.

I also have no idea how I could manage physically to make the move, especially as I don't have any help whatever and not a lot of money either.
But if you have to do something, you just do it even if you can't do it.
I have sure learned that in my life.

 

[diamond]

So maybe further East where its green but far enough South for warmer winters..i think i will get looking at google maps for you and try and find the perfect spot ..I dont know the USA climate..just a rough idea but i think its time for me to start researching!

Sageys idea of South Carolina sounds good!