Hi cjd,
Yep, all of it sounds very familiar, I'm afraid. Definitely reflects my experiences of fibromyalgia.
I just went back and read your first message here - I'm so, so deeply sorry for your loss
If your doctor's hunch was right, and it is fibromyalgia that you're experiencing, then such an immense emotional trauma is certain to be triggering. I'd also suggest that grief can play out in all manner of ways within the body, so without a diagnosis, I'd perhaps consider that this could be something that will pass - and of course, if your symptoms change or become more severe in the future, it may be worth thinking again about whether diagnosis would be worth pursuing. I can understand that you might not feel like you have the emotional resources to do that right now, but don't suffer unnecessarily.
Coming back to what you describe above, that physical fatigue is known as post exertional malaise, and it is a fibromyalgia symptom. The pain that comes with pressure from staying still is also something we've talked about here in the forum before too. Back when I was experiencing a lot of flares, I had a pretty desperate time with that. Staying still for any length of time seemed impossible, but I felt so exhausted. Lying in bed was excruciating! I found that ice packs were soothing and a memory foam mattress topper helped quite a bit, but ultimately, it was getting a handle on bringing all of my symptoms down through a variety of management strategies that ultimately improved it all.
I found that supplements targeting mitochondrial support improved post exertional malaise and general fog/fatigue - I listed what helped me in your other thread this morning. For the rest - and I'd say actually as a first place to start - it came with adopting daily habits very similar to those in Sunkacola's
fibromyalgia advice post, and gradually working on bringing down my stress levels, and learning to accept the presence of my symptoms - letting them come and go without worrying as far as I was able. I found it really helpful to read up on psychologist Paul Gilbert's theory of the three emotional regulation systems and learning to harness self-compassion. Perhaps Google that and have a read if it resonates.
Of course, these are only one person's experiences - others may make different recommendations and have different stories to tell. What I would hope you take away is that while fibro has no cure, there are things we can do to feel more empowered, and often symptoms will ease with self-care. I hope you feel able to take your time to grieve and to be as kind to yourself as you possibly can be. Some things in life can't be pushed through. I truly hope you feel better soon