Suicide

[Krishna]

I cannot take the pain, exhaustion, depression and mostly not being able to work. I tried committing suicide 4 months ago. Unfortunately it did not pan out. I have tried all the related medication for FM as well as alternative therapies and homeopathic medication. Nothing helps. I still have suicidal thoughts....am at the end of my rope! Does anybody feel same or had similar experience?

 

[Loftpat]

Hi there. I was in that place about 16 months ago. If you are not getting counseling, please call your mental health hotline or your doctor today. What really helped my overall state of mind was a cognitive therapy group and counseling. It helped me make a shift in how I deal with the pain. As you know, your thoughts can take you down, but they can also bring you up. While my pain has not diminished, I have learned to manage my response. I hope this might help you as well. Take care. We care about you. Hugs.

 

[Lana]

Are you on ant antidepressants? I did take Cymbolta and I had to stop that, because I was getting suicidal thoughts. Sometimes you have to change medications if you have bad reactions. Try to get some Counselling for your thoughts, Don't just ignore it because there is help out there you just have to look for it. So sorry your going through this, I hope you feel better soon. Gentle Hugs!

 

[TipBill]

I am also on Cymbalta. While not suicidal I did go through a very rough patch in September. Was feeling very depressed, anxiety ridden, scared and several other symptoms. I talked to my doctor and he added Abilify to my medications. It has helped my mental state tremendously. Hang in there and remember suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

 

[Forgetmenot]

Hello sweetheart , first off never ever let this illness take your life , there will be better days, but u must get the depression sorted out, as that will make the pain worse. I suffer with it badly and so does my dad he tired to kill himself a few times and u no what even though he is still ill .he has had the joy of a new granddaughter who has brighten his days and my mums ,things might seem black now but u will smile again.
My brother killed himself and so did his wife 8days apart the pain never goes away , and he is missing so much .dieing is not the answer it's just a way out .keep looking for tomorrow and deal with one prob at a time .xxxx hugsxxxx

 

[Lana]

Forgetmenot I am so sorry to hear about your brother and his wife, That must be really hard on you and your family.

 

[terbaer]

Krishna, I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time. Please do not do anything to harm yourself. Reach out to someone. Call a crisis hotline, talk to your doctor right away, find a counselor, talk to a friend....Anything but end your precious life. Because it is precious. You are not alone.

There are so many medications, as well as, counseling to help you deal with the pain, the depression and overall feeling of despair. If you are feeling suicidal, then you just haven't found the right combination for you. Keep trying. Don't give up. For me, it wasn't just the medication that helped me, it was my counselor. She helped me to not feel so helpless. Her words really helped me to grieve who I was, which was a healthy working mother and wife. A person who kept the family going. What I am now is different. I've learned to deal with the pain and accept that I can't work because of the illness. I've learned to accept who I am now and love my life. I still have flares 80-90% of the time which include pain, anxiety and depression, but I give myself a break and ride out the storm. I talk with my mom and my husband when I'm having a really, really rough patch. Or I have a couple of very close friends that I talk to. I've learned who I can count on and who is truly there for me.

I pray that you can find that relief and happiness. Please, please do not give up....Gentle hugs to you...

 

[ladydee]

yes i have but i thought about how selfish im being theres people who love us..dont give up..your worth it..find some hope..

 

[Forgetmenot]

Ty Lana yes it has been xxxhugsxxx

 

[terbaer]

Oh my gosh Forgetmenot.....I'm so sorry I didn't pick up on your post last night. I can't imagine what you and your family have been through. I have not lost any of my immediate family. How devastating for you and your family. I would like to say "I can only imagine.", but I truly can't. I do want to send you positive blessings to you. You have such a profound outlook I'm in awe. What a strong person you are whether you recognize it or not. Keep that strength for yourself and your family. Hugs and prayers your way from me to you......Ter

 

[Krishna]

Thank you all for the sincere messages.

I have takebeen on Lyrica, Cymbalta, and basically the strongest post operative pain medication available. None of these helped my pain. I eventually even ended up with some liver and kidney damage as these tablets are very strong. I have not taken medication since. I have spent thousands of rands trying various types of alternative therapy such as acupuncture, cupping, homeopathic treatments. None of them helped.

The most difficult part at the moment is that i am rarely able to work. How do I support my self and my family? Its too much...i can't manage.

I have spoken to doctors (not counsellors), family and friends. Whilst they are "supportive", i find the biggest problem is that they do not understand what Fibromyalgia is all about and hence do not understand my feelings and what i'm going through.

And to top it all of, my dad has just being diagnosed with cancer after just recovering from open heart surgery.

 

[terbaer]

I'm sorry to hear about your father and I truly am so sorry that you are struggling with such intense pain and you never get any relief. I know on my worst flares, especially those that include headaches and migraine spikes, my anxiety and depression also increase. Both of those definitely improve when you can get some pain relief. It is really scary when you need to work to help support your family. It sounded like you hadn't met with a pain counselor/psychologist. I have and it was really helpful in many ways to me in mentally dealing with pain. It's not always just physical. I actually had to grieve who I used to be and get to a place where I could look at my life and embrace the future; which doors open as what I used to be closes.

I have heard of some different kinds of surgeries that have been done to block the actual nerves which resulted in blocking severe pain in specific areas. I can't say I'm an expert on it by any means. I have a friend who had something like that done and I have several other friends that have received injections to block nerves. I don't know if it's something you've explored, but it sure seems worthwhile to check out. Maybe it would help so you can get back the ability to work more? Like Ladydee said in an earlier post, "Find some hope."

I hope your dad's cancer is curable and hope he has a quick recovery.... Keep us posted on how you're doing. We're here to help you.

 

[Forgetmenot]

Ty TB. That was very kind of you.im not sure I'm strong as such,I only have two options cope or don't.hugs.

 

[Forgetmenot]

Kris , your poor dad , we just has a scare with my dad , with his prostate .and while in the end he was fine I no the sickening feeling in your gut. And you must be feeling more pain now then ever. But weather u believe it or not. Your are coping, ok just ,ok it's crap but your coping.
I don't have anything to offer u but hugs and tons of love, xxxx

 

[Krishna]

Thank you guys for all the kind words and support. It is very much appreciated. I feel that you are the only people in the world (possibly) that i can talk to and share my feelings with. Like i said before , I have no other real support. Whilst every other aspect in my life feels like it is falling apart, at least i know someone understands and cares.