Please be assured that this
does make sense. Many,
many people experience physical pain from a terrible loss. Your body is expressing the loss, which is terrible for you. Plus, you have to assimilate that you don't haveyour growing up family any more and that is also terrible. This is a burden beyond what most people experience with one death. So it makes perfect sense that your body would be involved in this and y ou would feel pain.
Please be assured that this body pain will not last forever.
I am in grief counseling but the pain in my body has just started a week now.
I am glad you are in grief coounselling. I found that it helped me one time when my mental pain had gone on for two years. My physical pain continued for about a year, although it did ease up at points. It didn't entirely go away, but that is because I am pretty sure that for many years prior to that I already had undiagnosed fibromyalgia. I had experienced physical pain for a long time; it just got worse and different when I had the loss.
My kids and huaband just want old me back
Sometimes with a terrible loss like this there is no getting the "old me" back. And your husband and kids need to understand this. If they don't, please ask them to go see your grief counseller or another one themselves so it can be explained to them probably better than you can explain it. After the loss of my partner, I have never been the same person since and never will be. I cannot be who I was, because who I was included my beloved partner.
You cannot be "the old me" again, because that you included your family! They were a part of you that is now gone.
This does not mean that you will experience what is going on now forever. You won't. But it is unreasonable for your husband to expect you to bounce back and be who you used to be. He needs to give you time and space and be patient. If he won't do this when you ask, ask him to see a professional who can explain it to him. And talk with your grief counseller about this and ask advice on how to explain this to him. You do NOT need the added burden of pressure from him. And he needs to see that he is placing an additional burden on you by asking for it. Your kids don't understand, and it's hard to explain this to them unless they are adults themselves. But if your husband understands he can help them to understand.
Not being the old you is not a bad thing! Not bad at all. Ture, you will be a different person without a part of you that you used to have. But the different person you have become and are growing into will also be most of all the parts of who y ou have always been. Your personality won't fundamentally change. You will probably get to a point where you enjoy once again all the things you used to enjoy, uless something is a trigger for you because you used to do it with your Mom or another person you lost.
You will also grow from this. You will possibly be more compassionate and understanding of others. You might be more accepting of life. Maybe not those things, but others just as interesting and positive. But this takes time.
I say all this from my own experience. I no longer do the hobby my partner enjoyed so much to do because it feels as though i cannot do it without my partner. But I do other things and enjoy them. I am more understanding toward people in deep trouble and/or grief. My capacity for compassion has grown. I am still fundamentally the same person but I have grown in many ways because I carry with me that loss.
Please give yourself time and patience.
People saying to you that you have fibromyalgia after only a week of pain are displaying their understandable ignorance of grief and even more so ignorance of fibromyalgia.
You don't have fibromyagia, you have grief.
A week's worth or even 6 months worth of pain after a loss like that is nowhere near enough time to indicate fibromyalgia, let alone diagnose it. So be asurred that is not what you have.
Don't go down the road of thinking you have fibro because it won't do you any good; it will only add to your burden. Just be with your grief and know that every single thing you feel mentally and physically is NORMAL for someone in grief.
And be kind to yourself.