Status
Not open for further replies.

Marika dimi

Member
Joined
Jan 26, 2017
Messages
11
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
CA
State
ON
Iam a 40 year old women and unfortunately about a year and a half ago I had to move back in with them.
I was diagnosed with fibro 2-3 years ago I don't even remember how long ago it was such a an anxiety filled few months. I also was diagnosed with clinical depression at age 17, borderline personality disorder, high anxiety and dealt with self harm issues for about a year. At the age of 17 I also started dealing with anorexia and bulima nervosa. I spent more than half my life in and out of treatment centres for my eating disorder and alcoholism, I have been clean and sober for 3 years now.
I could of had fibro for years, which I think is quite possible but never new it. Needless to say because of all my issues I have been back and forth living with my parents. I was out on my own for 2 years and things were going really well for me I finally got on the right medication and was seeing a pain specialist for treatment accordingly. Long story short my landlord was not having me rent legally she didn't own the home so I had a month to find a new place it didn't happen im single no roomates I spent day and night looking online but nothing.

My parents said they would help me get to my specialist appointment and it would be no problem they saw how stressed I was and offered me there basement . Things were good at first now my days are full of anxiety and stress because of constant arguing . Which affects my eating over exercising and pain flare ups. Im on a lot of medication so I tend to think and sometimes im told the arguing is because of me . My mother and father of course say they understand but really they don't . They don't understand that I cant just get up out of bed and go,sometimes have to lay there for 45min until my meds kick in. They don't understand my sleeping is al over the map! They don't understand that for me if I move around walk do my stationary bike it helps the pain. They dont understand that sometimes I cant get a full sentence out because my head is so foggy. Just feeling very overwhelmed tonight because trying arrange a trip once again from barrie to markham so I can pick up meds and go to other appointments on the same day. I feel like a huge burden to my parents and not understood. right now my anxiety is through the roof and I should be eating . Feeling a migraine brewing and no sleep tonight!
Thanks to anyone who is reading this and can relate in any way.
Sorry if there are lots of mistakes I just needed a good vent and going to have a smoke now
 
I certainly understand how you're feeling! I'm 3 years into the fight for disability with my elderly parents and son covering the basic bills. There are days when I feel like a burden with nothing to offer. My inability most days to exercise means my weight is slowly creeping up effecting my self esteem further. I could go on and on but the point is you are not alone! Were it not for my faith I don't know how I would make it. Try to find even small ways to contribute...do a load of laundry, folding while resting or wash a few dishes while boiling water for tea. Will others see and change their views? I wouldn't count on it, but the important thing is the impact it will have on your self esteem!
 
I understand how you feel. I was always self supporting and active, but have also fought depression and self harm a few times through my life. Having to depend on others for help can take a toll on your self esteem. It is hard to deal with all the pain and limits this condition puts on us, and nobody truly understands it. Fighting depression and anxiety at the same time makes everything that much more difficult. I wish you the best in getting through this and finding ways to feel better about yourself.
 
I
I was diagnosed with fibro 2-3 years ago I don't even remember how long ago it was such a an anxiety filled few months. I also was diagnosed with clinical depression at age 17, borderline personality disorder, high anxiety and dealt with self harm issues for about a year. At the age of 17 I also started dealing with anorexia and bulima nervosa. I spent more than half my life in and out of treatment centres for my eating disorder and alcoholism, I have been clean and sober for 3 years now.

I have had to cope with the exact same things since the age of 17 as well. So I was wondering, were you also always tired? I remember, before the official fibro diagnosis, since I was small child, going to the GP 3-4 times a year with complaints of extreme fatigue. Blood tests would reveal nothing and I would just be asked to wait it out. Later with mental illness diagnosis, every physical complaint I had was blamed on my depression/borderline etc.

Now I am actually beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, my mental health problems became worse because I've always had fibro. I have never woken up feeling refreshed, I was a good student, but school was so difficult and so stressful (looking back it could've been fibro fog), I've always had pain, knew I could never have children because I was so tired and in pain all the time (even aged 10, I'd tell my friends I'd never be able to be a mom!).

What do you think? does this make any sense to you too?
 
vickythecat, it sounds to me as if you always had some form of fibro. But of course it was undiagnosed, and so no one could help you and no one recognized that what was going on with you was neurological rather than just being lazy or whatever. I understand how this can end up exacerbating other problems such as depression and feelings of being worthless.

I was born with chronic insomnia. I could not sleep, not even as an infant. Until I was almost 30 years old and started taking prescription medications for sleep I was chronically sleep-deprived. All the time. You know how it feels when you have had a really bad night, when you got either no sleep at all or else just a few minutes here and there, and then the next day you were so tired that if someone even looked at you crosswise you wanted either to hit them or to cry? I felt like that all the time due to lack of sleep. this snowballed into numerous other problems. People did not understand, so thought I was just a person with a bad temper and a bad personality, and so I was told I was unwanted and worthless, and so I felt that way, which made everything worse, in a vicious circle. Really, even though I understand what happened back then at this point in my life, the damage has been permanent and I don't have any way to undo it.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top