Toxic people

[Lana]

There always seems to be one family member that doesn't really care because they either think your being a baby or just plain lazy, They don't care about bring drama and conflict your way. They tell you about how bad there job is and the people they work with, disregarding that you have fibro fog and its hurting your head just listening to them go on and on. They don't hesitate to give you a hard time that you never want to go out with them or talk on the phone. I would just like to know if your family members treat you like nothing is wrong and bring drama into your lives. It is very stressful and it makes you feel ill when they pull in your drive way. They are loud and its like a world wind coming in the door. When this is a close family member that you have already tried to explain to them but still keep doing it. I know this person is very Toxic to me because of the way I physically get when this person is around. Does this sound like anything anyone else is going threw?

 

[sunkacola]

Hi Lana,

I don't have your problem, because I have no family and no one ever comes to my door. Not ever. But I can relate to what you are saying, because I can easily imagine what that would be like. I don't know what is worse, having no one ever to talk to or having toxic people around. I think maybe your situation is worse!!

I think what I would do, is just send them away. Literally ask them not to come around any more. You can do it nicely, but be FIRM. Tell them you are ill and that you just don't have the energy to visit with them, and that you will let them know when you are able to see them again. If that doesn't work, stop answering the door or your phone when they come or call. Eventually they will quit. You don't need people like that in your life.

Good luck and let me know how it goes!

 

[Lou38]

Hi Lana

I don't have this problem with family but I do at work. I cannot stand being too hot or loud music so my colleague does both, knowing full well that this makes me feel ill. If I open a window, she closes it. I asked her if she had any tablets for a bad migraine as I know she suffers too so she said no then put the radio on & turned it up! Most days in work I could scream. Other people can be so awful, it's hard enough dealing with constant pain and struggling to stay awake most of the day. I do feel your pain. I agree with sunkacola, ignore the door. I'm too soft to tell people to go away but I'd probably ignore the door & say I never heard it because I was in the shower, asleep or any other excuse ��

 

[Lana]

Thank you for your advise I really appreciate what you both are saying and i;m going to do that

 

[diamond]

I also react to toxic people or relationships..things i could tolerate a decade ago since i have fibro i dont want to be around loud or complaining or critical people as my mind instantly feels overloaded and like i just want to get away and my body reacts by much higher pain levels.

the more it happens with any one person i would feel the same as you... like anxiety even at them approaching.

My family haven't been that understanding and i have taken a step back at times from their company which is sad as the old me could go with the flow a bit more and handle peoples moods or less than considerate behaviour.

I think we get labelled as a bit weird because of all our symptoms and how we need to protect ourselves ..even we find it all hard to understand and most people even those i have explained it all too still don't get it and say silly things that again i used to handle and let go but now i am much more poorly i dont have the same level of patience with their lack of care or understanding.

 

[Heavenjumper]

While I don't have direct family around to create the environment your dealing with, I definitely can relate. My best friend moved into my house last August to get a new start and after my symptoms got much worse in September, she became this type of toxic person to me. She would come home and complain about work, constantly brought up having to get up at 3am to go to work each day, had a revolving door of guys either coming over or going to meet (and talk about at home), and constantly acusing my fiancé of being an ass to her. I tried explaining things to her over and over, tried ignoring her, and attempted to clear up household tensions a few times too. All of this didn't help and just stressed me and made me feel like crap consistently. I couldn't take it anymore and was ready to kick her out when she found a guy to move in with, and I haven't heard from her in the week since she left. I must say, for your situation, eliminating them from your company is your best option. I wish you luck in eliminating the toxic people so you can feel better.