Triggers

Harpy

Active member
Joined
Oct 12, 2022
Messages
45
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
11/2004
Hi onwardandupwards. .
I agree with alot being said here. So many good tips.
My number 1 flarer upper is being in the car, wether its driving or being passenger. I normally wear a neck brace when I am passenger so that helps a little.
My number 2 is looking after my grandkids while my daughters work, oh my word they can just go and go 🥲.
My number 3 is walking, no matter how much that hurts I do get my walking in. My watch will tell me if I have been sitting too long, then I go for a walk, not sure how long I can do this though , me feet are agony to walk on , like walking on hot rocks mix with LEGO 😢.
I have started with the food, to see if I can find a flare there? back at the bare basics and next week I will start adding one thing for a bit to see how it goes.
Good day to you all.
 

sunkacola

Moderator
Forum Supporter
Joined
Dec 2, 2016
Messages
2,312
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
US
Hi onwardandupwards. .
I agree with alot being said here. So many good tips.
My number 1 flarer upper is being in the car, wether its driving or being passenger. I normally wear a neck brace when I am passenger so that helps a little.
My number 2 is looking after my grandkids while my daughters work, oh my word they can just go and go 🥲.
My number 3 is walking, no matter how much that hurts I do get my walking in. My watch will tell me if I have been sitting too long, then I go for a walk, not sure how long I can do this though , me feet are agony to walk on , like walking on hot rocks mix with LEGO 😢.
I have started with the food, to see if I can find a flare there? back at the bare basics and next week I will start adding one thing for a bit to see how it goes.
Good day to you all.
Walking is excellent in so many ways and you are doing well to continue it. However, if it really causes a lot of pain perhaps it would be worthwhile to consider a stationary bicycle? That is a very good workout, without putting your weight on your feet. It's not as good b ecause you don't get outside, which is a big part of why walking is so good. But maybe if you did the bicycle on alternate days it would help. You could probably get one used if money is an issue.
 

Auriel

Very helpful member
Forum Supporter
Joined
Jun 8, 2021
Messages
849
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
08/2006
Country
UK
State
UK
Oh to be a kid again (no fibro + all the energy 🌞) can you imagine!!! 🪔🧞‍♂️, I used to alternate between bike and walking (I have a beautiful big bunion on my left foot, I've not named him yet) the bike was nice to take the pressure off that and the pain in my legs (I'm gonna start again soon) ✨💖✨
 

Harpy

Active member
Joined
Oct 12, 2022
Messages
45
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
11/2004
Auriel, oh yes to be even just 30 years younger, pre injury and pre fibro when all we did was quad biking, horse riding along our beaches. All day fishing . Oh the memories. I had a lay down this afternoon and got out of bed and my knee had gone out AGAIN. Not sure how much more I can take of this. 😓
 

Harpy

Active member
Joined
Oct 12, 2022
Messages
45
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
11/2004
Oh yes they are beautiful, I am lucky my youngest daughter has three at the moment, one horse she uses for show jumping. Below is peaches at an event last weekend. Her other hires diva she uses for pleasure rides and barrel racing.
0376DC33-5926-403D-9FF6-996153B16751.jpeg
 

Auriel

Very helpful member
Forum Supporter
Joined
Jun 8, 2021
Messages
849
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
08/2006
Country
UK
State
UK
You'll be ok @Harpy, you got us if you want to talk (and gp if things get too much with your knee and things) im agreed, horses are beautiful creatures 💚 🐎 💚
 
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Harpy

Active member
Joined
Oct 12, 2022
Messages
45
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
11/2004
Thanks auriel, it’s just hard to get my head around . I have done nothing to this knee. And it just getting more frequent in giving in and making mobility very hard. It does help having a whine here. I only have my osteopath to whinge to and I don’t see him till next Monday. I will text him if it worsens as he gave me his private number.
 

sunkacola

Moderator
Forum Supporter
Joined
Dec 2, 2016
Messages
2,312
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
US
Harpy, it is hard to get one's head around it. It is a struggle I have had several times in my life when one or another serious disaster or tragedy has happened in my life, and there have been several. One thing I have learned from all of it. When my beloved partner died very suddenly and tragically, I was devastated. My entire life felt over. No future, no present, only the past which was gone and I couldn't think of living without that person by my side. The only person in my life I had ever been able to truly trust.

Eventually I came to the place I am now, which is that I still miss them every day and always will, but I also recognize how powerfully lucky I was to have had that person and that love in my life for 10 years. So many people never get that kind of love and support and connection in their lives, ever. So at least I had that. And I am so grateful for that because otherwise I wouldn't have ever known it was possible, or what it was like, to be that close and trusting with another person, or to love someone more than anything.

Most people in the world never get to ride horses on the beach and do all the things you did. But you got to have that while it lasted, and that's something to be glad for and also to be proud of in your life.

Most people never get to go hiking in the mountains every weekend and be healthy and strong and do all the things I did while I was able. The majority of the world doesn't even know what that's like because they are too busy just trying to stay alive another day. So I feel lucky to have had that, even though it's not the same any more, and I feel lucky to have the life I still have.

Don't now if that helps you. It has helped me, so I thought I would mention it.
 

fimi

Senior member
Joined
Apr 12, 2022
Messages
233
Reason
DX FIBRO
Country
UK
Oh yes they are beautiful, I am lucky my youngest daughter has three at the moment, one horse she uses for show jumping. Below is peaches at an event last weekend. Her other hires diva she uses for pleasure rides and barrel racing.
View attachment 3584
Absolutely beaufiful horse. You must be very proud of your daughter and the horses Harpy (y):)
 

Harpy

Active member
Joined
Oct 12, 2022
Messages
45
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
11/2004
Thanks sunkacola, oh yes I am very lucky to have done some of the things I have in the past. I have had a blessed life and I am proud of the person I was.
I have had that profound love, the love we all crave. But he basically was dying in my arms and I didn’t realise. My daughter and I got to the hospital and as I got my sweet 4week old grandson out of the car he was gone 😭. I screamed at my daughter to get him and #%#%##%# run. I live with a world of why, what’s if. If only . I think I died that day with our bub.
Oh yes fimi I am proud as punch with with my kids , they have grown up to be awesome young adults. And my 4 grandkids and 😇 in heaven.
 

sunkacola

Moderator
Forum Supporter
Joined
Dec 2, 2016
Messages
2,312
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
00/0000
Country
US
Thanks sunkacola, oh yes I am very lucky to have done some of the things I have in the past. I have had a blessed life and I am proud of the person I was.
I have had that profound love, the love we all crave. But he basically was dying in my arms and I didn’t realise. My daughter and I got to the hospital and as I got my sweet 4week old grandson out of the car he was gone 😭. I screamed at my daughter to get him and #%#%##%# run. I live with a world of why, what’s if. If only . I think I died that day with our bub.
Oh yes fimi I am proud as punch with with my kids , they have grown up to be awesome young adults. And my 4 grandkids and 😇 in heaven.
I am so glad you at least had that. And I think that you could be proud of the person you are now, as well as the person you were!

The worth of a person is not measured in how much they can do physically or how much they can accomplish. Always remember that.

I, too, have struggled with the why, what if, if only with the death of my partner. But I came to understand over the years since then that those are useless questions and only serve to make me miserable, which is in turn useless, only harmful, and not what I want or what my partner would have wanted for me.

The thing about those questions is that they are never, ever, going to be answerable. WHY is a question no one can answer if it has to do with why something like this happened. Things happen, it's as simple as that. It's never a punishment or a reward or for a reason, because the universe doesn't run on a merit system.

What if or if only.....The thing is that you will never know, no one can know, what would have happened if .....
It might have happened anyway. It might have been worse. It might not have happened but been better. It might or might not have been different in the outcome at all because we are never in control of the outcomes of our actions.

We can choose to do things, but whether or not we can do them and the outcome of doing them if we do is out of our hands. Even writing this I know that while I choose to come to the forum and have that intention, I might not have been able to turn my computer on this morning, or I might suddenly not be able to use my hands, or the website could go down.....there are hundreds of reasons why my intention to do anything may not have the outcome I want or thought it would have. My intention is to helo, but I don't control whether it actually helps a person or hurts them.

What I have come to it that I just live. I take each day as it comes. I have hopes and dreams but I know it's not in my control whether or not those happen. I never ask WHY any more and I always send the "what if" thoughts packing the minute they show up.

I have found the energy spent on those questions and feelings is far better put to managing this day,,accepting what is on this day, dealing effectively with what pain I have or don't have today, what I can get done today and if I can help an animal or person today. My life, and my fibromyalgia have been so much easier since I came to this understanding for myself.
 

Harpy

Active member
Joined
Oct 12, 2022
Messages
45
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
11/2004
Thanks so much sunkacola, very much appreciated.
I seem to sink into the black hole when my flares are relentless it’s just all too much.
Your a very knowledgeable person.
 
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