Venting

[TipBill]

Again, I know this isn't the forum for this type of thing but I need to vent and it does play into my health problems. I won't go into all the details because I would have to write a novel. The gist of it is this. Several years ago my brother in law (my husbands brother) got into a fight with his mother and they have not spoken in 2 1/2 years. He has said all sorts of vile things about her including that he wishes she would just die. Fast forward to today. My sister in law (his wife) is in very bad physical shape. She is legally blind and has to use a walker to get around. Several weeks ago while I was talking to her she mentioned that her husband had bought a gun. I asked her what he needed a gun for and she jokingly said that he was probably going to shoot her with it to end all her physical problems. We had a good laugh over it because I knew she was just joking. Last Sunday we went to visit his mother and my husband happened to mention that my brother in law had bought a gun and he was concerned for his brothers safety because my brother in law has a hair trigger temper and goes off on the least little thing. He hates everybody, the Jews, the blacks, and especially Hillary Clinton. He is just a bitter person. Anyway when we told his mom that he bought a gun she showed no reaction at all. She didn't seem upset in the least. Well after we left my mother in law called her daughter and told her that my husband was concerned for his brother's safety. So apparently she told her brother (who lives with her) that my husband was concerned and he in turn called his mother after not speaking to here since June of 2014. I don't know what was discussed other than the gun issue.

When I first found out from my mother in law that she had told her daughter I was appalled because it made me think what else has she told her daughter over the last two years.I told her these things in confidence and did not expect her to share them with her daughter. So I guess my brother in law finally decided that he would call his mother after 2 1/2 years and explain to her that he had no intentions to shoot himself or his wife. Then my brother in law sent me a text saying you shouldn't say things like that to an old woman which I thought was rich considering the things he has said about her over the last two years. So I sent my brother in law a text saying that I knew he wasn't going to shoot himself or his wife and he said in part "Think, I know it's hard with your limited intelligence but why would you tell my mom about it. First of all I wasn't the one who told his mom, it was my husband. Then he went on to say "I don't understand what kind of dumb ass would say that and and that my husband should know better. I sent him a text back saying I never thought he would shoot anybody and that his wife was the one who made the joke.


So now I will get to the point of my story. As most of you know I am under a lot of stress. I have an appointment with my attorney next Wednesday and then my hearing before the judge on November 10. Both of those things are causing me extreme stress as well as the fact that I have a seventeen year old cat that is dying. I have taken him to the vet several times and they can't figure out what is wrong with him. He is constantly vomiting and with my shoulder replacement and arthritis in my other arm it is hard to get down and clean the carpet. Anyway like I said I have all these things stressing me out and my brother in law and nephew (his son) have been verbally attacking me calling me stupid, making fun of the fact that I watch to many crime shows and read the Enquirer (which I don't) and that I should just relax and take my meds. Then they said they knew how I could get rid of the cat. We live in a very rural area and they told me to just drive him 20 miles from home and dump him out. He doesn't have his front claws so he would not be able to defend himself, not that I would do that even if he had his front claws. My vet bills are already over $500.00 and I don't know how much more I can pay before I have to make the decision to put him down. At one time he was a very fat cat (25lbs) which I realize is my fault but now he is down to 14 pounds. He won't take his medicine. As soon as I put it in he vomits it back up. So I have all these things stressing me out and I am being verbally attacked on Facebook for all my family to see. All of this in weighing me down and getting into my psyche and I am getting to the point where I can't do anything without thinking about it. I don't shower or put on clothes for days at a time because I am so upset and depressed by what they are doing.

But I have chosen to take the high road and not engage them in a war of verbal combat. When I am on Facebook and I see either of their names I just scroll right passed them. I could unfriend them but I am not going to let them know that they got to me.

My daughter has to go to Thanksgiving with her husband's family this year and I am sure I won't be invited to my sister in laws house so my husband and I will be spending Thanksgiving day alone which upsets me as well.

I guess this turned into a novel after all or maybe a novella.

Thoughts please.

 

[diamond]

Stay strong Krista..you are doing the right think..take the moral high ground. people that are rude to family on places like face book are shallow and cruel.

Do something nice on Thanks giving and look forward to next year or Christmas with your daughter and grand daughter...the disability hearing will be all over then.

I know its hard but forgive your mother in law ...sometimes people over share with out thinking of the consequences but the rest of them sound not nice people so let them get on with it...the fuss will die down eventually.

maybe its time to have your cat put to sleep...honestly if he has lost weight through lack of appetite and is still vomiting all the time then he is a poorly boy even if like with my cat finding the definitive cause took ages....on reflection i wish i hadn't put my 17 year old through all the vets visits because in the end i had to let him go any way.

My cat looked so well and it was all so sudden but 3 weeks from the day he started to vomit and stopped eating i had to accept his healthy looks masked the fact he was slowly dying and have him put to sleep.

He was my baby ...truly i loved him like a child....and it broke my heart but i had to do it.

Your brother in laws comments about how to get rid of the cat are the most terrible comments ive ever heard...he does not deserve your time of day!

 

[TipBill]

Thanks Willow for the words of encouragement. I appreciate them. Where in the UK do you live? My husband and I have been to London twice and to Scotland and Ireland once. We have great memories of those times and lots of pictures but it makes me sad to look at them knowing I can no longer do trips like that. The second time we were in London we stayed at the Park Plaza Westminster Bridge and had a beautiful view of Big Ben from our hotel room. We enjoyed walking along the Thames River and even took a boat ride on it. We saw the play "Woman in Black". My husband really liked the movie and wanted to see the play. We went on the London Eye and the London Dungeon which I did not care for because about 10 minutes into the ride they soaked us with water. We had a seven hundred dollar camera with us. Thankfully it wasn't ruined but we had to do the rest of the tour wet and cold. We went towards the end of May for my husbands birthday and it was freezing the whole time. I don't think it ever got above 60 degrees. We also went to the wax museum. That was kinda of fun. The first time we went it was on a Globus bus tour and the second time we went we were on our own.Like I said we have great memories of both trips but know I will never be able to do it again.

 

[diamond]

Ah how nice you have been to the UK....I live somewhere's near the South Coast....not in the chaos of the City...haha i haven't been to London very many times myself!

I am a country girl and although it's great you have seen some of our Capital its not a true representation of how beautiful and green the UK is.

Google The Cotswolds and Devon areas, two great locations to learn about and visit.

Yes sorry about our weather May can be warm ...70 plus but there is no guarantee... it can easily only be 60 on a bad year!

I understand it makes you sad not being able to travel..I feel the same.

Maybe when the Disability hearing is over and you get that settled your health might improve enough to do a bit more than you are able now...maybe not London but somewhere within a reasonable drive just for a change of scene.

I think i know when your hearing is off by heart I'm going to be checking in here waiting for the result!!!

Keep your chin up if you can Krista and don't let those family members wear you down...truly they don't understand anything about the depth of your situation or suffering. One step at a time.....you have hung in with this court hearing for months/years and before that your shoulder replacement...don't underestimate your achievements just keeping going with those things on top of the daily grind of fibro.

I have never been to the USA although i roughly know the states..the terrain and weather and history.

My son has been several times and has friends all over.. well in a mix of different States and Cities!

Take Care

 

[harpert]

I am so sorry to hear the stressers in you life. You did the right thing with taking the high road. Time heals all wounds, and God has a plan. Good luck with your hearing.