vickythecat
Senior member
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2017
- Messages
- 366
- Reason
- DX FIBRO
- Diagnosis
- 01/2013
- Country
- EU
- State
- Earth
I am almost 40. And it is only now that I am beginning to learn that many body aches and pains I thought were 'normal' are not normal whatsoever.
I've always woken up feeling exhausted, hated going to school because of the early mornings. I thought I'd grow out of it. But it was the same when I started working at a 9-5 job. Whenever I tried to talk to anyone about it over the past 30 years, almost everyone told me that they too hate waking up early in the morning, and that they did not like going to school or work either. The times I heard people, even doctors tell me that 'you are simply not a morning person'.... So I assumed my horrible mornings were 'normal' and I was just being weak.
I also ached and had pain very quickly. A little nudge would hurt like hell. I remember noticing this at primary school, playing with ball outside, and how I was seriously scared of the ball hitting me. Again everyone around me said they were afraid of the ball hitting them, because it hurt a lot, but with me the pain was truly unbearable, so I thought it was the same for them. So again, I thought my pain was 'normal' and I was just being weak.
Same with crowded buses. I hated them because people would bump into you, hit you with their bags and it hurt like hell. But of course, everyone hates crowded buses and everyone hurts when they got pushed about in a packed bus. So again, I thought my pain was 'normal' and I was just being weak.
Age 19 I started having serious neck/shoulder pains, and was referred to a physical therapist who specialized in massages. It hurt like hell each time. But I kept quiet. It hurt even more the days after. When I asked about it, the therapist said, smilingly, 'yes, it can hurt sometimes'. I didn't dare question the 'sometimes', it was 'always' for me, and so bad that while people were on waiting lists to see this therapist, I saw it as torture. So again, I thought my pain was 'normal' and I was just being weak.
I can go on and on about many other examples. All of these 'normal's were not normal at all, and it took me years to discover that. People hate going to school for many reasons - but it is mostly not because they are suicidal in the early mornings! Or a ball hitting you - yes, it hurts. But it is not supposed to make you so sick that you can't get out of bed the rest of the day. And yes, massages can hurt, but they are not supposed to leave you in so much pain that you have to take strong pain meds in order to function right afterwards. Or crowded buses? How I'd rather walked along a busy road than be in that bus.
But what triggered this vent is that I, again, discovered something that is 'not normal'.
My sister was sitting next to me complaining of swollen gums and she said: 'It happened again, I am so worried. I used a tooth pick and my gums are now swollen again. This is the second time'.
I looked at her in awe. I said 'Isn't it supposed to get swollen each time?' She said 'no, of course not.'. Then I told her about my gums, how each time I use dental floss or a tooth pick, my gums get swollen within the next hour. It is the reason why I hate flossing. Everyone hates flossing right? So I thought everyone hate it because of the swollen gums.
Almost 40 and I am now discovering that your gums are not supposed to get swollen after using dental floss/tooth pick. Just wow......
I don't get it. Is there something really wrong with me? wrong with my upbringing? lack of communication skills?
How does one know what 'normal' is????
I've always woken up feeling exhausted, hated going to school because of the early mornings. I thought I'd grow out of it. But it was the same when I started working at a 9-5 job. Whenever I tried to talk to anyone about it over the past 30 years, almost everyone told me that they too hate waking up early in the morning, and that they did not like going to school or work either. The times I heard people, even doctors tell me that 'you are simply not a morning person'.... So I assumed my horrible mornings were 'normal' and I was just being weak.
I also ached and had pain very quickly. A little nudge would hurt like hell. I remember noticing this at primary school, playing with ball outside, and how I was seriously scared of the ball hitting me. Again everyone around me said they were afraid of the ball hitting them, because it hurt a lot, but with me the pain was truly unbearable, so I thought it was the same for them. So again, I thought my pain was 'normal' and I was just being weak.
Same with crowded buses. I hated them because people would bump into you, hit you with their bags and it hurt like hell. But of course, everyone hates crowded buses and everyone hurts when they got pushed about in a packed bus. So again, I thought my pain was 'normal' and I was just being weak.
Age 19 I started having serious neck/shoulder pains, and was referred to a physical therapist who specialized in massages. It hurt like hell each time. But I kept quiet. It hurt even more the days after. When I asked about it, the therapist said, smilingly, 'yes, it can hurt sometimes'. I didn't dare question the 'sometimes', it was 'always' for me, and so bad that while people were on waiting lists to see this therapist, I saw it as torture. So again, I thought my pain was 'normal' and I was just being weak.
I can go on and on about many other examples. All of these 'normal's were not normal at all, and it took me years to discover that. People hate going to school for many reasons - but it is mostly not because they are suicidal in the early mornings! Or a ball hitting you - yes, it hurts. But it is not supposed to make you so sick that you can't get out of bed the rest of the day. And yes, massages can hurt, but they are not supposed to leave you in so much pain that you have to take strong pain meds in order to function right afterwards. Or crowded buses? How I'd rather walked along a busy road than be in that bus.
But what triggered this vent is that I, again, discovered something that is 'not normal'.
My sister was sitting next to me complaining of swollen gums and she said: 'It happened again, I am so worried. I used a tooth pick and my gums are now swollen again. This is the second time'.
I looked at her in awe. I said 'Isn't it supposed to get swollen each time?' She said 'no, of course not.'. Then I told her about my gums, how each time I use dental floss or a tooth pick, my gums get swollen within the next hour. It is the reason why I hate flossing. Everyone hates flossing right? So I thought everyone hate it because of the swollen gums.
Almost 40 and I am now discovering that your gums are not supposed to get swollen after using dental floss/tooth pick. Just wow......
I don't get it. Is there something really wrong with me? wrong with my upbringing? lack of communication skills?
How does one know what 'normal' is????