What was the worst thing have you ever done to your self in time of desperation?

[Tipnatee N]

Warning : PLEASE DON'T EVER DO IT. Cause I'm ashame to admitting but I have gone through the deep end with so many extremely painful flare up days and so many many sleepless night. But I felt the need to let other people knows about this so no one will fallen to the victim of the Desparation situation like I did.

I admited , I've tried. Not the proudest moment of my life and the lowest of the low. But I suffer the chronic panic+hyperventilation attacks too many times per week or per day which giving me fibro flare up to no end. At that moment of my most desperation to knock my self out of my misery , I literally tried to put to put me to sleep.

It's NOT GOOD for me in anyway poosible, I know it will hurt me badly in the long run and cause so many other illnesses later. But I had already gone passed through the deep end with no longer fear of death. I swear to my self not to ever do it again. I'm not insane yet so I will not let my self go that far ever again as much as I could.

I'm not suicidal , I don't plan to either. Maybe in the back of my mind there are some scret wish for death , but I will never ever kill my self. I have love one who love me and for that I will keep on going.

So please Don't do it, and use my experinced as example to keep your mind strengthening and don't give in to insanity. Believe me it's not worth dying for , hurting by, or possibly causing harmful condition in the future. Plus the after effect is also horrible. :evil:

 

[blue paradise]

Let’s please be careful about posting too much gory details. There are folks here who are struggling with suicidal ideation and self-harm that might be triggered by reading these details.

Rather, can we direct our discussion to the solutions or methods that helped us deal with these desperate situations? THANKS!!

 

[Tipnatee N]

This is no gory detail . I posted this with intention to warning and understand the dangerous situation that we are in even without suicidal thoughts. I'm mad at my self for have gone too far many times in my life, and there's no real warning out there of how far is too far while pain and insanity could have you snap at any moment, or how bad is so bad . In reality it's not good for anything , Not just for moral stand point of view either. I no longer want to be judge for what I have done all the bad mistake in my life to find any relief. I want to give to raw side of it so no one else will. Without the guilt and without any judgement.

I have lost some friend to something that should't happen , looking back at it I wish that I was more open about it before it too late, not to hurt other people but to KNOW that they are not alone .

 

[lyrin]

I've tried to kill myself twice and have numerous, numerous self injury scars.

Suicide (or self harm) becomes an option when level of pain (emotional or physical) has gone beyond your threshold for coping. Its not inherently wrong or right. It just is.

As a result you can either lessen your pain or increase your coping threshold.
You can try:
Talking to people (friends, family, internet)
Suicide prevention line
Medication
CBT
Mindfulness meditation
DO things. anything.
Make goals and break them into small manageable pieces
Exercise
Therapist
Etc.

"Life doesn't get easier. You just get stronger."

 

[1sweed]

(Tipnatee N ),
It is one thing to share and it is quite other to go to far in explaining all your details. What you wrote was and is very triggering to others on the forum. It is possible to warn others of things they might consider without telling how you did it. Please refrain from putting up any deeply detailed events in your life that could cause mental issues of depression or put ideas in other members heads.
This forum encourages good thoughts and is too provide helpful insight into LIVING with fibro. It is not for things of the nature described above. Thank you all for bring this post to my attention. It has been edited to ease the minds of those who were hurt by the comments.

 

[Tipnatee N]

I don't think I cound handle more attacks any longer either. Sorry everyone for being over sharing at the worst possible moment of my desperation . It's hurt enough to have to live with it. Just erase the thread all together would be fine.

I'm done crying about it. Please erase me .

 

[1sweed]

I can not just erase an entire thread it messes up the workings of the forum. Just be very careful what your posting. I tried to erase the worse parts and leave the rest. We all know the feelings and deal with them the best we can, but we intend to give hope not more sadness. I am glad you failed at your attempts. Things have a way of working out if we give them time. I have suffered both mental & physically from this disease but I try to enjoy life as much as I can for as long as I can and hope & pray you will all do the same.

 

[lyrin]

I'm bipolar and have experienced an insane amount of time in hell and back from it. It was so freakin' hard for me just to stay alive.

But here I am later with a child I adore, a job I love, I'm self sufficient, I have my shit together. Everyone should be thankful for what they DO have without worrying so much about what they DON'T have.

Just know that no matter how bad it gets it can get better and there are many things you would miss out on!

Even if it's a single post helping one person (or lurker) on this forum. That means something to them and it should mean something to you.