When people even family refuse to believe

[Cheryq03]

yesterday I was once again hurting and overwhelmed! My 2 adult daughters told me because I chose not to attend something...nothing big, that they were so d___ tired of me saying I am tired or hurt again.
I don't use this very often but was coming out of one of the worst FMS-CFID episodes I have ever held.
I am getting so tired. They have read about FMS but keep coming after me! I am already in pain and stressed!
These are our adult daughters, which make it even worse. They threaten to not call or stop by but just text when they can!
I feel like I am being bullied and don't know what to do! I love them but they are in their 40's and should no better.
My hubby says to not contact them because I end up all down and hurting. He feels they should at least try to understand. The fact that before being diagnosed'd I did everything they needed make him angry and me hurt!
Does any once else get this? HELP!

 

[1sweed]

Sadly to say, yes most of us have gone through, or are still going through the pain caused by relatives that don't believe or think we are making it all up. It is hardest when the people doing it are close to you. The pain and heartache can burn deep and cause severe flares and depression. I think you need to back away and limit your time with them or talking to them. Maybe you can try and refuse to talk about your fibro with them. I know it is going to make you sad, but until they come around in their thinking if you stay the same you will be in for a rough road ahead.

I have a relative that thinks I made the whole thing up. I learned to pretend that her cutting remarks don't bother me and sometimes I make a joke about what she says and laugh and say "Oh how funny you are." then just look at her and smile without saying anything more. It usually shuts her up and she leaves me alone.

Try and take it easy on yourself, it is not your fault. And do some praying, it will help with the pain your feeling. Thank goodness you have a loving and understanding husband to help you and believe in you.

 

[mariposa]

yesterday I was once again hurting and overwhelmed! My 2 adult daughters told me because I chose not to attend something...nothing big, that they were so d___ tired of me saying I am tired or hurt again.
I don't use this very often but was coming out of one of the worst FMS-CFID episodes I have ever held.

This is hard to say, and I'm sure a whole lot harder to do... but with your daughters being in their 40s, maybe it's time to back off from them a little bit. Why do I say that? Because stress and emotional turmoil can make you flare and that is something you definitely don't need. I'm not sure I'd cut contact like your hubby suggested, but maybe that would help them to understand the severity of what they're doing to you.

You said they threaten not to call or stop by and... well, I think being nice to yourself right now is very important and maybe not having them badgering you would be the best thing for you? It's hard to know what the right thing to do is, but having someone causing anxiety isn't a good choice for someone with fibro because it *does* cause more pain and flaring.

 

[kat744]

Many people don't understand the kind of pain one goes through when they have fibro. Since you are in pain most of the time, they tend to get used to hearing you complain of the pain. Some even stop taking yo seriously and that can hurt emotionally especially if it is your own family members. I decided that most of the time I will just be dealing with the problems myself and keep to myself.

 

[Amalia]

I think you need a break from each other. I know it's hard not to talk to family, but try it for a while. You will get your stress and judgement free time and they will get to see how it's like to not talk to their mother for a while. I understand your concern and your husband's anger, but just let them figure out how hard it is to not communicate with your mom, let them miss you.