Where did my life go?

Fibrogay

New member
Joined
Jul 20, 2021
Messages
5
Hi guys

First things first, apologies for moaning, but where did my frigging life go?

I used to be exuberant, life of a party. I used to have a career. I was part of a community.

But now after years of fm, or as I now call it, living death, I find myself a shadow of my former self. I now have no career and live on state benefits, I don't go out, I'm now a wallflower at the rare parties I attend, mostly family. I have zero confidence and generally feel low permanently.

I work hard not to be a misery or only talk about my health, but that's what this has reduced me to! I want friends still, I want to go out, but my body and brain dictate otherwise. Generally I'm bored being me, I want to escape the daily drudgery of fm. I get so frustrated and then the tears come. I know no one can wave a magic wand but selfishly, I can't help thinking why me. I can't seem to come to terms with fm. Am I alone?

Just to interact with another person would be lovely. Thank you. J x
 

Auriel

Distinguished member
Joined
Jun 8, 2021
Messages
135
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
08/2006
Country
UK
State
UK
No fibro gay your not alone , I’ve had fm for 15 years and even now I still get frustrated that I can’t do everything and go everywhere I want to , it was onlly last week my fatigue was so bad I literally couldn’t find my way out of the forum to log out! It was ridiculous🤪it was like trying to get out of a a fibro forum labyrinth, in the early days id be so frustrated and get really angry with myself but we do learn to accept ( to a degree)if you feel like venting come have a vent it’s partly what the forums for😃 🧡
 

Fibrogay

New member
Joined
Jul 20, 2021
Messages
5
Bless you for your msg. I've never liked venting, I've always been a positive person but tonight I'm not in a happy place. I feel like I'm watching life go by from the outside, not part of it. I hear people having fun and here I am on the side lines, not seen, not heard. Rant over, time for more sleep 😴😴😴
 

Jemima

Distinguished member
Joined
Jul 30, 2020
Messages
195
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
11/2019
Country
PT
Hi Fibrogay,

There's no need to apologise - and there is nothing selfish at all about asking, "why me?" Fibromyalgia is entirely unfair, and we have every right to fume about it, feel fed up, or feel sad. You are definitely not alone.

As you describe how you feel, I can't help imagining that you're probably living under a big cloud of depression. Obviously, I can't know what you're experiencing from one post - and you don't have to share anything if you don't want to - but if you feel like it and there is anything that us mad rabble here can do to help, I'm sure we'll do our best!

Those lows are so hard and so heavy - it can feel impossible to even imagine feeling brighter on the other side. But nobody here will judge you for your feelings. We all need to vent sometimes! I hope you sleep well, and that tomorrow feels a little more warm and welcoming than today 🌤️
 

Auriel

Distinguished member
Joined
Jun 8, 2021
Messages
135
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
08/2006
Country
UK
State
UK
🍭🍫🥜🌰🍪🍩🍯 jemima your soooo sweet I thought it only right I should share the majority of my emoji sweet collection with you
 

Fibrogay

New member
Joined
Jul 20, 2021
Messages
5
Thanks Jemima for your kind words. You are very perceptive, I am a long term sufferer of depression. I've had support from the local mental health team but currently find myself in a flunk.

As I said in my first msg, just having human contact would be nice, so huge thanks for bothering to reply to my post. To hear yours and others comments has given me a small boost to keep my chin up and to carry on, plowing on.

I know my issues pale into insignificance compared to others here who suffer more than me and I need to keep in mind that there are worse people. One kind word can have such a huge knock on effect, I need to gather the troops and march through another day 😜

Again, many thanks for reaching out, I hope one day to be the giver of kind words and not just a receiver 😁

J x
 

Jemima

Distinguished member
Joined
Jul 30, 2020
Messages
195
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
11/2019
Country
PT
Human contact is indeed vital, isn't it? It's a pleasure to reply - I think it does good in both directions!

Come here any time. A lot of us are wrestling with depression as well as all the rest, so you'll always find understanding ears - even if communication is only virtual!

May your troops me formidable today 💪
 

Auriel

Distinguished member
Joined
Jun 8, 2021
Messages
135
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
08/2006
Country
UK
State
UK
Fibrogay you’ve already given us kind words you’ve us thank you’s and ithey we’re genuine and that counts , ps I like your profile pic there’s something so innocent and childlike about people while sleeping , and hope your ok today and feeling little better in some kind of way ( I accidentally rhymed haha) x x x
 

radiocaz

New member
Joined
Mar 2, 2021
Messages
1
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
12/2018
Country
UK
hi i just wanted to say i think your very brave sharing and thankyou because i totally relate to everything you have said , i have never shared yet because find it really difficult . living like this can be a very lonely place . im grateful for this forum for a place to go and not feel so alone even if its only for a short while x
 

Jemima

Distinguished member
Joined
Jul 30, 2020
Messages
195
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
11/2019
Country
PT
hi i just wanted to say i think your very brave sharing and thankyou because i totally relate to everything you have said , i have never shared yet because find it really difficult . living like this can be a very lonely place . im grateful for this forum for a place to go and not feel so alone even if its only for a short while x
Welcome, radiocaz. We're glad you're here!
 

Fibrogay

New member
Joined
Jul 20, 2021
Messages
5
Thx Auriel, manners cost nothing as far as I'm concerned 😁, and we all need a boost sometimes. I just had to put that pic up. My hubby took it as a laugh, but it's quite true 😴😴😂😂😂😂
 

Fibrogay

New member
Joined
Jul 20, 2021
Messages
5
Less brave @radiocaz more major frustration that I felt so alone and feeling like my life has become meaningless. I don't share too often cos I don't want to burden anyone with my woes, but we all need support sometimes. No one can survive this living death alone. Always happy to listen or chat if any of you need someone. ❤️❤️❤️
 

Auriel

Distinguished member
Joined
Jun 8, 2021
Messages
135
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
08/2006
Country
UK
State
UK
Sleeping beauty I couldn’t agree more 😁
 
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