Rualchick I'm sorry to hear the pain of what you and your family went through. It is unimaginable to think of going through that with a child.
Cynthia I also have been on both sides of the coin. My first husband died of brain tumors. I felt guilty, helpless and frustrated daily. I too wished God would have divided up the pain. Life is so unfair at times.
Now I've seen tears in my own husbands eyes when he realized I wasn't getting better and nothing was going to help, he couldn't even touch my arm without me crying out. He, for the most part ignores it until I am bad for days, then he starts helping me. This is when I'm greatful to have him. He gives me time to try on my own then kicks in when it's obvious I can't. Not when he feels useless, not when he's frustrated and not when he feels guilty. But when he shows his love by just helping. He asks daily how I am. He doesn't push or ask me to elaborate. If I'm bad he says bummer and what can I bring home for dinner. And if I'm good he gives a smiley face and ask what's for dinner! He makes me feel like it's ok either way. It's ok to be me! What a relief! He loves me just the same.
I want my life to be about living despite fibromyalgia not consumed because of it. I feel bad enough. If I had to add him feeling guilty to my problems that would just be one more straw on the camels back.
Love him, check on his condition and help him cheerfully. Help his life be as guilt free as possable. THAT is priceless.
And on good days enjoy each other to the fullest. Accepting the limitation but enjoying life just the same!
Everyone is different. But I doubt you would love him so much if he wasn't a great guy and great guys don't want their wives unhappy. But If in doubt, ask him. I'm betting the last thing he wants is for you to feel unhappy.