I was diagnosed 5 years ago and still struggling to juggle things. I am a full time lecturer and a career for both parents who I live with, one has a chronic condition with a limited life span and depression. I also have two teenage children who am supporting through independent schooling so need to work full time. But in all honesty struggling do not know how I will get through the next term let alone the acedemic year. Normally very positive but struggling on managing house work, caring, children and garden not had time to recharge batteries. Doctors won’t give any medication as apparently it does not help. Any useful strategies would be gratefully achieved. Sorry for the rant
Hi AnnMariet - sorry we haven't gone into depth here yet, I'll start tho and expand if you like...
Many fibromites won't agree with your docs about meds that they don't help at all (esp. many in the UK I get the feeling), but a lot of us here will, suggesting pacing, complementary medicine and thus keeping a clear head. To quote research usually it's a figure of about up to 30% that's given that get help from meds without too much side effects (sfx). And it's a question of trying, often getting used to, trying to find ways to keep the sfx down... I didn't take mine long, much too many sfx.
So as a general strategy quite a few of us wd recommend sunkacola's advice post at the top of the forum.
You're in a dilemma and the juggling means struggling and the pin that's falling down is not being able to recharge batteries, you say.
Well it won't come a surprise that if you continue trying to stay positive and keeping everyone else entertained but yourself might not last long.
What you are doing might have in part lead to fibro and certainly can't be doing it = you any good.
Brilliant that you're looking for useful strategies and not necessarily magic pills, but even useful strategies may take time to implement, so you'd need to take time. So first suggestion is where from?
You could start with things theoretically "easiest" to implement, like getting the support & understanding of your children, so they can do the house work, caring and garden for you. ;-) Dead easy ;-) with teenage kids being like they are and maybe spoilt to the bone if what you're saying up to now is anything to go by...
Or do a general work/life/stress-balance overhaul and just questioning things you are doing completely.
Can anyone else help you?
What if you stop being carer for your parents? What alternatives are in store for them?
What if you go down on your work? What alternatives have your kids got?
What if you stop doing the garden completely and let it grow wild?
What if you "stop" the housework: What could your kids do?
What's the worst case scenario?
The other side is what if you carry on like this? You will likely become so ill that you will have to stop most if not all these things, no choice.
I was working 50h/wk and active 2 years ago. Then my full flare came and now of the things you are doing I'd manage 0h/wk caring for parents (I try to manage doing something with my grandchild 2h/wk, but it's often tough), 6h/wk lecturing (I do just about manage 10h/wk, but because I've been able to get the stressful parts of my work reduced), 1-2h/wk gardening, 3h/wk housework.
I need to do lots of self-care, pacing incl. resting, acupressure, self-treatments (physio & supps), finding out how I can improve, and I am succeeding: About 1% per month...
Sorry for shaking it/you up like this.... Praps the others can give other perspectives, comfort.
Maybe you'll find another way. Or carry on somehow, bravely, sacrificing yourself...
But unfortunately fibro won't allow an easy answer unless you're very lucky somehow...
You may - like many of us, me at least - have to consider the end of the life as you knew it - and embrace a new life where you have a new, more important role and are no longer doing everything for everyone else.... where you still would love helping people, but can say: You've done enough in your life, now it's time to love helping others to help you, because you are the needy one, and that's OK.... And can then look for other ways of helping people - here for instance... ;-)