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Old 04-13-2019, 05:53 PM #4
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Bryn Bryn is offline
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Join Date: 2019
Posts: 1
Bryn is on a distinguished road
Bryn Bryn is offline
New Member (Say Hi)
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Bryn's Avatar
Join Date: 2019
City: Ottawa
State: Ontario
Country: Can
Interest: I am being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and/or chronic pain.
Posts: 1
Bryn is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Husband Day to Day

I have fibro and my husband is wonderful but to be honest we had to do a bit of therapy to get us into the right space. I had to learn that "every day is an adventure, just not always the one you planned" so that I could make the best of every day and accept my own limitations. My husband had to learn that we had to be flexible which helps reduce frustration. We no longer sleep together, because I have trouble sleeping due to the discomfort and he snores. I love him dearly but it got so bad that I pondered using the hose of his CPAP machine to strangle him because he still snores but now sounds like darth vader snoring. It's real fun to do the "walk of shame" in our own house, teenagers be darned.

Intimacy is more of a quality than quantity type thing. However, we have adjusted what intimacy means to us. Sitting together and having him place his hand on my leg gently has replaced rubbing and stroking. Snuggling might be us on opposite ends of the couch and his holding my foot. We hug lots but have to monitor the pressure. Sometimes we just lie down and hold hands. But on those good days......he still rocks my boat.

He is allowed to ask how I am doing and what my pain level is without me getting frustrated or feeling smothered or guilty. But he has to accept that on a good day I may push myself a little bit because if I don't I cannot guarantee when I will have an opportunity to do things I want. We have shifted some of the house hold tasks to a different balance which allow us both to feel like we are contributing.

I wish you luck. Communication is key. When in doubt just ask and accept what she tells you to be true. Everybody wants their partner to be their safety net and their cheerleader, that doesn't change when a disorder/disease becomes involved.
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