VanGogh
Active member
- Joined
- Jun 15, 2017
- Messages
- 89
- Reason
- Other
- Diagnosis
- 00/0000
- Country
- US
- State
- FL
My brain sometimes feels like it wants to explode! I want to get the thoughts and information out " there " but like a Twilight Zone story I often can not find " there ". On one of those political talk shows, I recently heard someone say: " there is no there, there " and I rolled on the floor with a mix of excitement and laughter. Did they really say THAT? and I wondered if everyone know what was meant by that.
How can I tell? How can anyone ever tell if what they say is understood?
Besides the doctors that one see's for Fibro and or other associated maladies that are often mentioned with Fibro it's still a challenge to " communicate ". I often get the feeling that they KNOW the words that I use but they do not UNDERSTAND the meaning.
I read many years ago that according to the author of the book I was reading that there is a big difference between the word " knowledge " and " understanding ". He explains his theory. It makes sense to me in ways that I perhaps had never experienced before. Silly me, I thought that because I got it, everyone got it especially if it was broken down like the author broke it down. Instead it caused MAJOR riffs and disagreements; one with my wife who seemed to want to assert her own theory which contradicted the authors theory. I wondered and even asked how we could move on if this riff now existed and it seemed to stimulate major tumult every time anything close to the subject arose.
Over the years I noticed that this DIS-EASE arose often between people and it seemed to me that it mostly happened because someone wanted to WIN; they wanted to "be right" they wanted to be heard and acknowledged for their reasoning. I never figured out how to get past this hole in the road.
That said, whenever I found people who listened to the theory and the definition and they found themselves like I was AMAZED! with the explanation it seemed that we suddenly found our self on the same team and in a much better position to communicate. In many ways it was like a magic elixir that healed all things broken. So why did this work with some HB's but not with others?
I never found out but I know to this very day that the circumstances always turn out the same way.
"LOVE" has nothing to do with it in fact it makes the problem worse more often than better because it seems that expectations come with love but love does not over-ride truth.
The idea of finding someone in the world with-whom I can be happily in love and in partnership with has suddenly taken a turn for the worse. I often think that
" smartness " is reliant on excellent if not perfect communication and THAT is near impossible to find.
I haven't given up yet but I have no idea where to search for a like mind.
What is interesting is that the 3 closest people in my life now are all involved in some way with mental health. The psychiatrist said to me: I don't understand why you can't find love or even friendship. If we weren't in this relationship as doctor and patient I would LOVE to be friends with you but the code of medical ethics forbids that we carry on a relationship outside of this office. The other two people who are associated with the mental health community basically say exactly the same thing. They seem not to get why it is so difficult for me to find love and friendship when they ALL tell me that they would certainly want me as a friend if the professional relationship wasn't in the way.
Honestly that makes me feel good that they say those words but it is sad to think that I can't find anyone besides them to have fun with.
Life can be cruel at time. Do I dare say: LOL?
How can I tell? How can anyone ever tell if what they say is understood?
Besides the doctors that one see's for Fibro and or other associated maladies that are often mentioned with Fibro it's still a challenge to " communicate ". I often get the feeling that they KNOW the words that I use but they do not UNDERSTAND the meaning.
I read many years ago that according to the author of the book I was reading that there is a big difference between the word " knowledge " and " understanding ". He explains his theory. It makes sense to me in ways that I perhaps had never experienced before. Silly me, I thought that because I got it, everyone got it especially if it was broken down like the author broke it down. Instead it caused MAJOR riffs and disagreements; one with my wife who seemed to want to assert her own theory which contradicted the authors theory. I wondered and even asked how we could move on if this riff now existed and it seemed to stimulate major tumult every time anything close to the subject arose.
Over the years I noticed that this DIS-EASE arose often between people and it seemed to me that it mostly happened because someone wanted to WIN; they wanted to "be right" they wanted to be heard and acknowledged for their reasoning. I never figured out how to get past this hole in the road.
That said, whenever I found people who listened to the theory and the definition and they found themselves like I was AMAZED! with the explanation it seemed that we suddenly found our self on the same team and in a much better position to communicate. In many ways it was like a magic elixir that healed all things broken. So why did this work with some HB's but not with others?
I never found out but I know to this very day that the circumstances always turn out the same way.
"LOVE" has nothing to do with it in fact it makes the problem worse more often than better because it seems that expectations come with love but love does not over-ride truth.
The idea of finding someone in the world with-whom I can be happily in love and in partnership with has suddenly taken a turn for the worse. I often think that
" smartness " is reliant on excellent if not perfect communication and THAT is near impossible to find.
I haven't given up yet but I have no idea where to search for a like mind.
What is interesting is that the 3 closest people in my life now are all involved in some way with mental health. The psychiatrist said to me: I don't understand why you can't find love or even friendship. If we weren't in this relationship as doctor and patient I would LOVE to be friends with you but the code of medical ethics forbids that we carry on a relationship outside of this office. The other two people who are associated with the mental health community basically say exactly the same thing. They seem not to get why it is so difficult for me to find love and friendship when they ALL tell me that they would certainly want me as a friend if the professional relationship wasn't in the way.
Honestly that makes me feel good that they say those words but it is sad to think that I can't find anyone besides them to have fun with.
Life can be cruel at time. Do I dare say: LOL?