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cmetryme

Extremely helpful member
Joined
Nov 3, 2013
Messages
1,030
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
03/2008
Country
US
State
TX
Well folks, as you know from my posts, i have moved to the mountains in AZ.

i am getting reduced pains here. elevation works!

i went to a pain mgt doctor on the mountain and i found they are uneducated and uncaring.

the doctor said i was crazy and I was making up that i had my diagnosis. as he has never heard of small fiber neuropathy or the metal thing. even after he read my records and lab tests. even after my insurance told him what they were too. he threw me out of his office!

so now i will start withdrawals with only counseling from my insurance company.

the metal in the rehab will make it worse. my insurance said they will pay the $50,000
for me to go there if i want too.

they agree that the metal will make it worse too.

so of all things,they want me to get started ASAP on the medical MJ! they say it will help with the withdrawals and the pain im about to go through with it.

so i have 7 days worth of extended release 30 mg of morphine and 7 days of instant release
15 mg left.

i have been off the instant for two days now. tomorrow i will be cutting all the pills in half and only taking the 30mg once a day. the pain has started back to level 3/4 now.

once im out of the 30 mg pills.(cut in 1/2) i will either go through the really bad withdrawals or use the 1/2 pills of the 15mg until they are done. im hoping this will help.

im asking my metal research doctor for advise on this as well.

after 20 vials of blood and many vials of piss i sent him. he told me on Tuesday that he has found nothing that is causing me the metal reaction im having. he did all the metal testing and found im not allergic to any metals, just a reaction. he even tested for rocky mountain fever..can you believe that?

he did find that two of my numbers were very concerning and his words were there is something very seriously wrong in your body. you are very sick!

one number was to be no higher than 39. my number was 3,900.
the other number was to be no higher than 94,000. mine was 700,000.

this doctor is taking the money out of his own pocket to pay for all the research.

he has assembled a team of five doctors, money from his pocket. they will be reviewing my lab results and see if he can get me any help. he promised me that he will not give up on me.

as i have had many doctors and clinics throw the medical creed out the window it is refreshing to see a doctor(PHD) that cares so much.

im waiting on his reply to see if the morphine withdrawals will hurt/kill me with the numbers that i have. my insurance nurse and rehab counselor said that it can be very dangerous and life threatening. i have no worries. im going to make it through this like i make it through each painful day i have had for many years.

i would like to post here as i go through the withdrawals so you folks can learn from my experience.

i still say take the hard pain meds they do help a lot.

if anyone has any advise on how to help me for a change..lol please post or private message me.
thanks for your support in advance.

your friend cmetryme
 
Can u ask this new Dr to call the other Dr and tell him that u do have a real problem ,and something's very wrong.
Also maybe whatever is up in your blood test might be making you sick and for whatever reason is nothing to do with metal .cose u still need a good gp on side. Not that that one sounded very good.
 
Dude what a tough journey. I hate seeing dokter because they never believed the pain fibro eksis. Lab tes again again. Good luck with your journey cymetryme.
 
Wow! cymetryme! You are one tough cookie! Good Luck to you and I hope it all works out for you! The mountains in AZ are awesome! Where about did you move to?
 
Well wishes to you and good luck. For my withdrawal fase from the fentenal patch i researched the web and found what worked for many others. Believe it or not it wasnt as bad as i thought. A multivitin....half in the morning the other half at night. Omega 3...hemp oil has the most refined omegas i took 2 or 3 three times a day. It really helps the brain zaps. Lots of tv to get my mind off of things. Green tea. I forget what else but u can find the info online. You'll be ok. You're a tough cookie😉
 
thanks for the answers. its nice to get some help. i will look into those things.

well im now down to 30 mg at night only. its tough~ crying and unreal pains back again like before the morphine.

today was not a good day at all. i woke up kinda fine (5:30 am). then about 10 am. my legs started hurting and shaking.
the kind of hurt that you just want to rip your legs off. then my arms started.. now im ready to rip all the limbs off.

i took some aspirin as that has all ways helped me with pain since i was a kid.

well then the heat came..like my whole body was on fire! then after that came cold as if i was in an ice box.

so i called the nurse line with my insurance. they have a rehab support nurse. as im talking to her the depression started.
the tears and trying to hold back the crying. its was unreal. then i began to studder my words. i couldnt say anything without doing it.
scared the hell out of me or into me not sure. i began to get the fibro fog so bad i couldnt even remember where i was.

the nurse said that is part of the withdrawals and it will pass in time. but it will get much worse before it gets better.
we set an agreement that if the pain got to bad and i was just going crazy i was to go check into the rehab center.
you know that will only cause me even more pain. so i made it through that withdrawal. its been a day i tell you.

well i was out at a store and met a gal that was handicapped. i asked her for a pain mgt referral as its was just getting to bad and i need the meds for my over the top pains. i dont want to go back to screaming and crying. i called and the answering machine said we will call you back in 24 hours. so now i wait to see if they believe in my diagnosis and fibromyaglia.

tonight my feet and legs are completely numb and pin and needles as i had an eye doctor appointment. dam do they have alot of metals in their offices.
not to mention that the eye glasses seams to be all metal or some metal. as the lupus attacks my skin when i put on sunglasses and leaves me with a +
bright red burning like a match is being pressed on your face type of rash on my face im not to happy about that one. he does not want me to even try contact lens as the lupus will attack my eyes and may lose them..

so i continue with what ever life throws at me. im looking at it all like water off a ducks azz. i have no choice and thats how i have to deal with it.

so like a fool i called my wife during the studdering and that put her over the edge. im alone here in phoenix az. that makes it all a lot harder on both of us. you see it all passed by 2:30pm. i will never call her again when im like that.

as you see its ok to hurt me. its not ok to hurt her.
sometimes you just need to remember that your pains do hurt your family members too. even if they are 1800 miles away.

i hoping tomorrow is a much better day. thanks for reading.

btw.. even after all of that, i still say the morphine is so worth having a life. even if its not the best life. its a life.
 
show low in the white mountains scren
 
btw i already went through the fentayl withdrawals 3 months ago.
never had a day like today with that withdrawal.

i can do this with all of your help..i know i have a great support group here!
 
Sending you good thoughts and prayers
I hope better days come soon for you
 
I know it really sucks rite now but tnk goodness we're all here for you. Sometimes I'd fall asleep in the bathtub full eptom salt.Studies have shown that magnesium and sulfate are both readily absorbed through the skin, making Epsom salt baths an easy and ideal way to enjoy the amazing health benefits . Magnesium plays a number of roles in the body including regulating the activity of over 325 enzymes, reducing inflammation, helping muscle and nerve function and helping to prevent artery hardening. Sulfates help improve the absorption of nutrients, flush toxins and help ease migraine headaches.
It might take the edge off for u. I'm glad your here😌 one day at a time and before ya know it you'll be through it. Hang tight my friend you'll b ok.
 
missShug,

would you mind starting a new thread for the magnesium and sulfate.
you said it nicely. just copy and paste what you said here and add it to the new thread.

to start a new thread go to the main page. natural medications i think.
you will see in RED the click to start a new thread.

your a wonderful help to us all.

thanks for helping all of us here. you are helping by posting..
 
well yesterday was terrible.

I got through fine until 4:pm. then the sweats came on. i got so weak i could not even hold my eyes open.

but the pains from my fibro and the others things are coming back on top of the withdrawals.

i wanted to rip my left arm off. the pain was so bad. the legs hurt, but not like the arm. i thought ill go lye down on the bed
and maybe i will just pass out and make it through this pain. we that didnt happen.

the arm would hurt so bad i would arch my back each time the pain wave came. it lasted for a few hours
and some how i passed out. got up at 7 pm. arm was sore but not throbbing. i was livable.

i was up until about 11 pm and went to lye down, thinking sleep through the pain.

at 11:45 i started getting knives every few seconds in the center of my chest. this has nothing to do with the withdrawals as this has happen once before when i was on the subsy(fentynal). the pain was unreal. the same knives that we get with the nerve pains.

the crying and begging god to take me was not working. i took 2 aspirin and that was not helping. nothing i could do.

i went out side and asked god as nice as i could, through the crying to please take me and end this pain. btw that dont work.

he has a plan for you. im sure its not just suffering in pain though.

i said maybe i should go to the ER. then i said you cant do that.(yes talking out loud to myself).
the stainless will make it hurt even more. as its my chest, they may think its a heart attack and inject me with epinephrine
and make my heart explode! this you are fortunate to not have with fibromyalgia.

so as you know im alone with this. last time i had my wife with me for support. but watching her cry through it was not helping me or her.

the knives just kept coming every few seconds. they would not stop. i couldnt lye down,sit,stand,walk it just was crazy!

i thought call my wife for support. then i said it 1:45 am here(yes 2 hours of the knives in my chest). thats 3:45 in Dallas.
i cant do that to her. i cant make her worried and be 1800 miles away. i know she will just start crying and making herself sick.

at this point i just dont know what to do. i dont know if this will pass in 4 hours like last time or if it will take me in the end.

i tell you, its the scariest thing you can imagine. i hope none of you ever get to this point in your life.

so i decided to email her instead. i titled the email "i love you so much".

i just didnt want it to take me and me not tell her and my son that i love them. they are my reason for continuing to live.

now you have to think that these knives are still going, the fibro fog is going, the tears are going. im thinking what do i say to them without
getting her upset and scared. i just told her the knives in my chest was happening again, i said im going to make it through this. this email will help me to get my mind off the pain and thinking i may die tonight.

if something does happen and god is kind enough to take me, i just wanted to say i love you both. i re assured her i would be fine and i would call her in the am to say im fine. i look forward to speaking to her in the morning.

i hope none of you ever have to write an email or a note to your family like this. its so hard for them to understand you.
the fibro makes it hard for you to understand too.

so at 4:30 am the knives stopped!(almost 5 hours none stop) my chest is still sore at 6 am when my wife called me.

i didnt want to talk to her right then as i was still crying. i dont what her to cry with me so i didnt answer. then i thought,you need to do something.
so i sent a text that said, im ok and i will call you later. i wasnt ok as you could tell. but what do you do?

so i got on this forum and started to read some posts here and reply to some as well. this helped me. knowing i was helping someone through my pains.

i did end up speaking to my wife. she said im sorry you had to go through that without me. i dont understand that, but if thats how she is going to deal with it. that fine with me. as long as she wasnt crying and panicking.

i now sit here with tears still coming down from the depression. my left hand numb and throbbing with pins and needles.
my chest so sore i cant even touch it. the shower hurts my head when the water hits it and is not giving me any relief.

my only relief was morphine!

im just hoping that this post will make you remember that we do have our bad days.
some bad days are not as bad as this one.

we always say be thankful for the good days and accept the bad days here on this forum.
you need to be thankful for the bad days too. they are not as bad as they could be.

remember to think of your family and how they will feel when you always complain about your pains.

just like my email. they love you and you love them. try to tell them that every day. because you never know
when its your time. you and them need to know that you do love them even through the nasty bad things they say to you
about your pains and fibromyalgia hurt you. it during times like this that you begin to see reality and quality of life!

y'all keep trying to beat your pains and keep posting here as it really does help others that come here.

i thank all of my fibro family here. you really are helping me through this.

be strong and know you can do this!

until later stay safe and enjoy the days, all of them. sitting feeling sorry for yourself is not a quality of life you want.
go see the world, the kids, the mountains, the clouds and even the **** in your family while you still can. dont let the pain
and fatigue stop you and miss out on things. take the drugs!
 
Well today starts 8 days for trying to ween off the morphine.

saturday, i cut the 30mg pills in half. i took one.

pain levels are about a 6 right now. the old pains are back.

i had another withdrawal since my last post. fever,chills, shaking pain unbearable,ready to cut off my legs and arms again. lots of crying.

showers, tapping, breathing exercises not working.

I have not heard from my insurance company nurse in a week. im totally on my own.
last thrusday i heard from the behavior mgt nurse. she told me nothing more she can do for me. its up to the nurse..lol

so today i had an appointment with a pain mgt doctor i got the referral from the gal i met. told y'all about that on in last post.

when i set the appointment i was told. he does not believe in Fibro, will not treat my lupus that has been flaring for a month now. but,
he will treat my two places with arthritis and the neuropathy! i asked right up front. does he only do the needle in the spine with the lidocanie?
she said no. does he do the morphine? said yes. kool set the appointment! allergic to all the canes btw.

so i learned that i dont say a word about the metal reaction or im told im crazy. i wont speak of the fibro and i will ask him directly about the lupus.

so his office is on the 3rd floor. my fibro legs wont let me walk the stairs. so im waiting for the stainless steel elevator and i feel it shocking me and draining my energy. i get off and im now almost drained and loopy.

i do the check in thing. stainless all over the waiting room, chairs. water kooler.
i say to myself you have to sit here. by the time they called me in for the exam. my eyes are watering, ass, legs,calfs,feet, left arm from shoulder to finger tips are numb, throbbing, burning and pins and needles. level 7 pain. unbearable. knives everywhere even in the center of my chest.

so the gal is holding the door open for me and i can hardly move my legs. i had to grab the wall three time to stand on the nice metal scale.
she looks at me and my eyes roll back in my head. she asks are you ok? i said sure im fine. (cant be called crazy).

so now she tells me to go 4 rooms down the hall. im waiting to follow her as i know im fall down any minute! so she is waiting for me! i told her i'll follow you. so she heads out and im just grabbing every wall to hold my self up. eyes rolling back in my head over and over.

i get to door way and wham! tazering lighting bolts coming from every direction at me. i fall into the metal chair and sit there. she going to take my BP. 158/109. im now shaking eyes still rolling, cant hold my head up. passing out every few minutes.

she goes and gets the doctor. he comes in and says let me look at your records. ive now got slurred speech.

he tells me i can do nothing for the fibro or the lupus. he asks are you ok? i said im fine, just in pain. what level he says? level 8.

so he sees im no good and says i want to see you walk to the exam table(metal). so i walk, knees bent, eyes watering and stumbling right to left.

praying i dont pass out again. he does an exam and says you have really bad fibromyalgia! im not kidding.

you have a very bad spot of arthritis on your lower back. i said i know thats why im here is hurts really bad. so now he can telling im getting tazered by the metal. he tells me whats with the metal thing? i said i have hypersensitivity to all metals. have you heard of that? he said no. (an EMS teacher called it that many years ago).

so he says let me cover this stainless steel hammer with my rubber glove so i can check your reflexes!
Im thinking wow he understands! NOT!

so he helps me back to the chair and says im not going to give you any morphine or any narcotics for pain.

you seem, thats why you are here. i said im hear to see if you will take over my treatment plan. with or without those drugs! please i need help.

he says to me three more times as im now passing out and eyes rolling again, no narcotics.

i will give you cymbalta! i said great tell me my you think the side effects are worth the risk of losing my vision?

he just lowered his head! then he said i can give you a medicine for altimers.

i said what does it do? he said it will block the signals to the brain to send pain. i said will it reduce my pains and i get some releif? he said ummm, lowered his head and said not really? but im not given you any pain meds.

i said do you believe in giving pain meds? no. then what can you do for me to reduce my pains? he said i can give you some shots in the spine, neck,arms,legs and feet. i said great what will you use in those needles. he says lidocane!.

i said didnt you say you read my records? he said yes i read them all. i said then why would you want to give me lidocaine? i even told you im allergic to all the caines. his head goes back down and says i forgot that!

now keep in mind in passing out and waking up every 15 seconds through this conversation.

i said so you cant give me the shots, you cant explain the cymbalta justification. what would you like me to do?

he says im not giving you narcartics. lmao

i said i dont want them, im almost off them. i dont want back on them to only go through withdrawals.

how can you help me?

he said i cant help you! I only do the lidocaine shots!.. i wanted to kill the man right their! but passed out again.

then he says you can try to get acupuncture! i just staired at him... then he says oh they are metal needles! i passed out again. then i said one more time. how can you help me?

he just looked at me. i said ok can you give me the drug made to help me get off the morphine and help me with the withdrawals?

he said nope! i cant help you!

maybe your GP can help you? i said he sent me to you!. so he puts his head down again and says i cant help you, you will have to leave now.

So i stumble to the desk and grab on before i fall down. she said can i help you? i said yes.

make sure you do not bill me for this consultation as i dont pay for consultants that say they cant help me and throw their medical creed out the window!. ill be calling my insurance to be sure they dont pay you.

the doctor comes around the corner and says its ok i wont bill you for today..

so now im leaning and walking down the hallway to the door, barely able to stand. out the door i go towards the stainless steel elevator.

i get to the lobby and im walking along the walls to hold myself up and get out of the metal building. i find a concreate seat outside and call my wife as im trying to recover so i can drive home.

the security guard comes up to me and says, whats the name of the doctor that you just saw up their? i told her i cant remember right now.

then she tells me the name of the clinic and i said yeah thats it. i ask her why she wanted to know. because they should not have let you leave the office in your condition. did he give you some kind of drugs up there. i said nope, he did nothing for me. she said oh im going into call my boss. he should have not sent to down here without an escort! i said you do that.

so 30 mins sitting on the bench and im back to level headed and i can drive. now at level 5 pains.

so im on my own and going back to 3 years ago. being hosed down in the back yard by my wife.(thats in texas and not even in this state.)

life is so wonderful and the doctors are the cream of the crop!

if you can get the meds take them. you will have a better quality of life than i will have from now on.

as i sit here im going through a withdrawal right now. my back is soaking wet and im again ready to rip my arm and legs off.

until the next few days ill let you know how the withdrawals are going.
 
Wow! I just don't know what to say! I am so sorry that you are suffering so much! I hope you find someone that will help you! Unbelievable that doctor, seeing you like that and not helping you at all! There has got to be somebody out there that has some kind of compassion, and will help you! Hang in there, you are one strong son of a gun! Sometimes I think I have pain and issues and after reading your post, realize if you can fight through this and keep on keeping on. I should do the same! Good Luck and I hope you get a kind enough soul to help you with your suffering!
 
I forgot to ask you cmetryme have you ever tried medical marijuana?
 
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