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Alanna

New member
Joined
Mar 5, 2014
Messages
5
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
12/2013
Country
US
State
Connecticut
I work as a high school teacher. I teach four classes, three of which are freshmen. Then I coach for two and a half hours in the afternoon. In all I spend 11-12 hours at work every day. When I mention that it is stressful or hard or tiring, I frequently get asked if I think I'm more tired than other people. My dean of faculty (who I have to meet with weekly because they think I need "watching" Long story, I definitely don't need to be babysat..) keeps asking if I think I really am more tired or in more pain, blah, blah than others. It's like she's saying "Are you making it up or just a baby?" It also drives me nuts when I say things like "I can't wait for this week to end, I'm falling down on my feet." and I have colleagues say, "Yeah I'm exhausted too." And while I'm sure they really are, teaching is rough sometimes, it's still hard to believe that they are as tired and worn out as I am and that they just handle it better.

I feel like I'm constantly doubting whether I'm actually hurting or tired or exhausted because I have no specific way of saying "I'm sick!" Last night I got home and I was so tired and stressed out and feeling depressed that I couldn't get it together to eat dinner. Which is BAD because I am pretty much in desperate need of food and gaining weight. I feel bad about myself that I can't just pull it together and take care of myself right. And then I get angry because I really think my job is making my life way worse. I just need a break so badly!
 
Hi Alanna, so sorry to hear you are going tru this. But you must know you are not alone, actually a lot people over here have complained about collegues and other people around them saying things like ''yeah, I'm tired too'' every time you said you are very tired. I'm not surprised most of us resent hearing that! So don't worry, you are not alone at all.

Also, it seems there is always someone doubting you are sick or feeling bad, just because fibro is a very silent disease and is not very well known. But you know what I think in order to feel better whenever something say something that sounds like they think I'm just a big cry baby? I just tell to myself I at least manage to get tru the day so well, they think I'm faking it! And that for some reason gives me some hope things will get better one day (if they ever find a way to cure this).

Hang in there!
 
It sounds to me like the fact that you are under constant scrutiny doesn't make things any easier for you at all. Yes, you are tired and you are hurting, that is part of the nature of the disease that you are suffering from. However, you are doing something that you enjoy and that is why you keep plugging away.

If you don't start to have some kind of relief from the fatigue in the near future, I would suggest maybe stepping back a little bit from the coaching until things are a little bit easier for you.
 
You are sick and tired, but the fatigue is pervasive. It consumes you. I 'get it' because I have it too. You probably "don't look sick" - how many times have you heard that line?! I am a school nurse. I drag myself to work everyday and fall on the couch when I get home so that I can take a nap before I go to bed. Weekends are usually spent on the couch so I can get myself to work on Mondays. The fact is, the fatigue is a severe symptom of the Fibro. It alters your life and can seriously impact your livelihood. Make sure you tell your doctor about this at every visit and get it documented in the event that down the road, you will not be able to do your usual work.
 
That sounds so terrible. :( The stress from your job certainly isn't helping your situation. I think you are right, you definitely need a break. I'm not sure what exactly you physical symptoms are, but do you think that you qualify for disability? It might be worth looking into.
 
Thank you for all the support! The high stress is definitely the worst part. I left my first teaching job with glowing reviews and then at this job I get constantly scrutinized. This is very much a "if the kid is doing badly then the teacher should work harder/is at fault" type school. Makes it hard to enjoy the work and enjoy when I have successes.

My pain keeps varying, for months I was dealing with levels of constant muscle spasm pain. While my neck, head and face are still very tight and sore, the bigger problem has become pain sensitivity. Standing in bare feet or for a long time, opening doors, jars, drawers, bumping thins, even just brushing parts of my body hurts. It sort of feels like everything is made of rock and is really rough and sharp. I have greatly reduced my exercise which I think makes the sore muscles less. The exhaustion is huge though. Makes it hard to complete daily tasks when I'm not at work. Even at work it's a struggle, just one I battle better because everyone is watching. It's hard to know sometimes if I should just be able to suck it up and stop being lazy. I really wish there were more answers along the lines of "if you do this it is better, don't do this because of this." But it's all just try and see if it helps, the experimentation really wears on me. Especially because it's not just it's better or the same; it can get a lot worse!
 
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