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It's really hard to be sick and to have family members that don't get it. I think that in this case the best would be to talk to them quietly and if even so they don't get it, better to cut contact.
 
I can only send you my heartfelt sympathy. My brother has the same attitude as your husband,and can be downright nasty to my sister in law who suffers from fibromyalgia. However I am not afraid to "put him in his place" and stand up to his bullying. Then again I can escape his attitude problems by returning to my own home. Unfortunately my sister in law is stuck with him 24 hours a day.
I really hope your home life changes for the better soon.
 
That's horrible. Especially coming from your children. Definitely think a sit flown or even having your husband go with you to speak with your doctor. Maybe him hearing it from a doctor will open his eyes. Your children should also respect you and lend a helping hand. I'm terribly sorry you are going through your pain alone at hope. Thankfully you have one child who cares. Good luck to you. Hope things work out soon for you.
 
Support from children is really crucial. And I think most children will support their parents. Only a small percentage are selfish and turn a deaf ear to their parent's suffering. They may do it to other people but not to their own parents. That would be really cold.

This is a difficult part of raising kids, they need to be educated to see that the world doesn't turn around them, that other people also exist and in this case can be in pain.
 
Everyone here can understand where you are coming from. The ones that love you the most ill give you the most grief. Which is probably why I live alone and have pets. I do call them or go out to family get togethers but I try to keep my ailments to myself and not share it with them. I can see the impatience growing inside of them at times. That is usually my cue to leave the room.
 
Have you considered taking care of yourself pick up after u. Plan your schedule around you, Say no to overwhelming schedules, if family is so selfish as to expect you do everything I would say .... Ignore them. Sounds kinda cold hugh? . Well let me guess, your diagnoses has been put on the shelf because that's how your family knows how to handle this new.....diagnoses. I have been so releaved knowing I'm not a hypercondreact . Sp ? I AM SO HAPPY TO KNOW THERE'S A PLACE I CAN CO ME TO, A FORUM WHERE OTHERS UNDERSTAND.
I HAVE BEEN A TAKE CHARM PERSON, I ENJOYED COOKING CLEANING HOUSEHOLD DOING LAUNDRY FOR MY FAMILY , BUT THIS IS A NEW CHApTER IN MY LIFE, I can choose to say no....to not be upset if I get that eyebrow lift from others. Here's a good one, and new to me. I have family coming to visit from another state. I will not be upset if my house is a royal mess, but kindly express to them the diagnoses the Dr.s have given to me. I refuse to claim this monster as mine, but a hiccup in life's curveball, I will wait with great exspectation, for a cure. HANG in there ok? And along the way....remember your not alone, Don't let fear or intimidation keep your mind in Prison, we are human beings and deserve the same respect anyone else would🐓 want .🍀🌴
 
Everyone here can understand where you are coming from. The ones that love you the most ill give you the most grief. Which is probably why I live alone and have pets. I do call them or go out to family get togethers but I try to keep my ailments to myself and not share it with them. I can see the impatience growing inside of them at times. That is usually my cue to leave the room.
Wow, obviously there's not much education in the U.S, that needs be.
In my quest to find answers this morning I can across some interesting stats .... in the U.S. there is currently a 4 thousand Drs. That specializes in the area of fibermialga.
Where other countries are in single or only double digits. Yep check it out for yourselves.
��
 
🎯!👍some people are wa yyyy out of line. I Personally believe in KARMA. IT'S JUST WE DON'T ALWAYS GET TO SEE IT. Poor Guy.
 
Hey I'm sorry about how your family is treating you. Unfortunately, most people have to actually be in that person's shoes to understand what the other person is going through. Just be patient with them & try to get them to understand where you're coming from.
 
Family is the closer we have, but sometimes the closer we are, the worse we can see. At this point of life we need support and not being criticized...
 
Everyone here can understand where you are coming from. The ones that love you the most ill give you the most grief. Which is probably why I live alone and have pets. I do call them or go out to family get togethers but I try to keep my ailments to myself and not share it with them. I can see the impatience growing inside of them at times. That is usually my cue to leave the room.

Same here, Josh. I no longer share my problems with my SO, I do it with my mom and she does it with me, but I'd never disclose my issues with my sister, boyfriend, grandpa or dad. No freaking way I'd ever do that; I learnt my lesson.
 
I'm sorry your family is like this. It must be so difficult for you to get through your day and the stress they are adding to your already painful condition sounds awful. I got out of a bad relationship, I left him because he refused to do any housework to help out at all and complained constantly about the state of our home. He was the one that made most of the mess, too. He expected my son to do all the housework. That is just not acceptable. My son and I have our own place and we are so much happier (and there is a lot less mess to clean. haha) There were other issues too, he was very negative.

I would like to say that you need to take a step back from the situation you are in and take a good long look at it. This isn't always easy to do, but try. If you need to, make a list of pro's and con's. Take a piece of paper and write down the good and bad about how things are currently in your home and your life. Make one column for good and the other for bad and see which column is longer. If the bad column is longer than you might want to really consider what needs to happen to change that.

Please keep in mind that your adult children are both working, as you said. If they have full time jobs, then it is time for them to get there own place. This may sound rough, but let's be honest. If they had their own place, they would suddenly realize they have to do all the housework themselves, because Mummy isn't there to do it for them anymore. It is time they grew up. If they feel they are working and therefore entitled to not have to do housework, they will be in for a big shock, when reality hits and they are on their own. Stop babying them. You may not like to hear this, but you are partially responsible for their behaviour as you let them away with it. Lay down the law, either they help and do their share of the housework or they find their own place. You have raised them to adulthood, you are no longer solely responsible for them. Cut the umbilical cord and let them lead their own lives now. This will work to everyone's benefit. They will have no choice but to look after themselves which will help them mature, and you and your youngest child will have less work to do around the house.

If you husband refuses to help or even listen to learn what you are going through, I would strongly suggest you think over whether or not it is worth staying in your relationship. It can be really scary to even think about leaving when you have been use to being with someone for such a long time, but do you honestly think he is going to come around and change? Be honest with yourself, you know whether or not he has potential to have a change of heart or not. If you know in your heart that he won't get better with how he treats you, do you really want to stay in such an unhealthy environment? From what you have written it seems to me that you and your youngest child would be better off in your own place without the others. You don't have to cut your other children out of your life completely, but they really need to grow up and move on with their lives and take responsibility for themselves.

I hope you find this helpful and I am sorry if it seems harsh, but we are partially to blame if we allow others to treat us this way. We are basically giving them permission to treat us badly, if we don't stand up for ourselves and stop their unwanted behaviour. We are allowing them to engage in negative behaviour and that isn't healthy for us or them. I truly hope your situation improves and that you are able to resolve your issues. Best of luck.
 
Just a short note. I have found that no matter what you say or do if they tend not to believe or even let on they realize your ill or even accept that your ill nothing is going to change their minds. I am now dealing with a mother who has alz. She lives with me and this burden which I accepted with the thought that family would help once in a while has turned out with me shouldering all the care of her. My one brother handles the money, and a few quick repairs, but other than that my two sister-in-laws think she belongs in a nursing home. My brothers come by and hug her and ignore me. I feel so alone and must rely on my friends for help and encouragement. My mom knows me some of the time but is confused most of the time. If it were not for this forum I think I would be much sadder and completely depressed.

Why family members can not face up to things they do not understand or can not see clearly with their own eyes is beyond me. If the shoe were on the other foot, so to speak, I would be asking right out what can I do to help. Instead I am over burdened and swore at and told I am lazy and why I do not deserve my SSD. Heart ache is a thing we who have fibro and other illness must face when family and friends, will not be a part of our lives. So I agree with the above posts which say do the best you can alone and if you can pray daily for guidance in all matters.
 
Same here, Josh. I no longer share my problems with my SO, I do it with my mom and she does it with me, but I'd never disclose my issues with my sister, boyfriend, grandpa or dad. No freaking way I'd ever do that; I learnt my lesson.

Me, as well. My issue is with my eldest son and his wife; they don't get it and if I try to tell them, I'm accused of talking about my health all the time so, I give up. Youngest son and wife are more understanding. My husband, thankfully, has come around. Doesn't fully understand why I'm in pain or what causes it but at least doesn't disregard it. I don't bring it up with anyone anymore unless they show a genuine interest.
My heart goes out to everyone here that isn't getting the support they deserve. :(
 
It is hard to see someone in pain not get the support they need from their loved ones. I helped people trying to get benefits from social secuirty in the past and understand the issues they have to go thru. People that are not in pain get impatient with people in pain mainly because they have no idea how you are suffereing because they do not see an injury. I have suffered from sciatica pain and know the pain you are in.

When it comes to your family you are going to have to train them to treat you better. We train people how to treat us, if they do not treat you the way you need to be treated you have to open your mouth and tell them or they will not know, they can not read your mind. Stop doing the things that put you in pain physically and mentally.

Tell your husband to stop yelling at you and have your family help around the house. If you are in the hospital what would they do?

I know alot of pain meds do not work and can do as much damage as good. I have used a topical cream to help with the pain when I need relief from the pain in my backside or knees. Not trying to sell you anything but will be happy to give you a sample if you like. The product is Real Time Pain relief, you can go to the website to get more information.

I walked into a highway barrier last fall, really hurt my knee, when I tried to walk it hurt all the way to my big toe. The cream helped alot to get me back on my feet.
 
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