Debbie Downer & Heidi Hypochondriac?

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flightybird

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Joined
Sep 2, 2014
Messages
12
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
03/2013
Country
US
State
TX
Does anyone else feel like Debbie Downer when they talk about their symptoms to people who aren't affected by fibro/other chronic illnesses?

Even when I talk to my doctor about how I am feeling, I worry that I am just coming across like some big whiner, or a big hypochondriac just looking for drugs. He doesn't treat me that way (thank goodness) but I can't help but shake the feeling. And goodness...when I talk about the symptoms I have during a flare to my "normal" friends, I just feel like I'm being such a downer (though that's not at all my intention.)

Am I just nuts, or do y'all feel this way, too?
 
This condition is hellish - a simple factual explanation of how you feel cannot help but sound exaggerated and unreal to anyone who has not been here. Like yourself I am lucky to have a doctor who accepts the reality of the condition and tries to believe what his patients tell him yet the first time I was really able to explain it was after I had fractured my leg in 3 places, dislocated my ankle and ruptured all the major joint ligaments - I looked him in the face and told him that the pain from injury (once it was immobilised) before surgery was less than the fibro and after surgery was nothing at all. He raised his eyebrows because up till that point I had never been able to describe the baseline pain in a way he could understand (the pain of a scale of 1 to 10 is meaningless - where an individual rates pain is dependent on experience of pain).

There are times when I struggle to believe how bad it can get - and I fully understand that unless people have been here they simply do not believe me when I describe pain levels because they think what I describe is impossible. To them a destroyed joint would be pain beyond tolerating so how can I stand in front of them and say I am in worse pain that that without being screaming on the floor? I wish what I described was impossible. I wish that ankle was the worst pain - because it doesnt hurt any more, it got better.
 
I haven't been on this site in a while, but I'm here too see what's new all I can say is wow I totally understand the pain scale of 1-10 it does not exist with fibromyalgia patients. And when you can tolerate surgical pain better than fibromyalgia pain is something else too. But most importantly regular people haven't a clue. I feel like crap everyday. I'm so tired of family asking me how do I feel.

I ask them in return, do u really want to know? Or are you being concern because you feel that will make me feel better? I kinda lashes out now because it doesn't changes how I'm feeling. It's never good, it's always bad or I'm worst than before the last time you ask.

So new news, I need to learn not to be mean or sarcastic
 
It's because some people still don't believe Fibro is a legit disorder. They still think we are over reacting or looking for attention. It pisses me off, they don't know how it feels but still judge us for being in pain. They think we like being this way. Ugh. I have met so many of those people. Just have to keep your head up and keep moving. Those kind of people will just slow you down more.
 
I am still trying to get over a tongue lashing my sister gave me in june...I so realize that people who do not have this problem just don't understand....think you are making it up for attention or laziness.....doesn't make sense to me when the person knew your personality before fibro reared its ugly head in your life.
 
I COULDN'T agree more with you, JKerner! People who don't have this just don't get it and never will, sadly for both of us there are people out there who are way too quick to judge instead of trying to stop and try to think for a bit there might be a reason why we complain or we don't do certain things. Btw, the reason why people tend to seem to forget the way you were before this is the same reason I mentioned earlier: too quick to judge!
 
Does anyone else feel like Debbie Downer when they talk about their symptoms to people who aren't affected by fibro/other chronic illnesses?

Even when I talk to my doctor about how I am feeling, I worry that I am just coming across like some big whiner, or a big hypochondriac just looking for drugs. He doesn't treat me that way (thank goodness) but I can't help but shake the feeling. And goodness...when I talk about the symptoms I have during a flare to my "normal" friends, I just feel like I'm being such a downer (though that's not at all my intention.)

Am I just nuts, or do y'all feel this way, too?

Totally! Sometimes I feel like doctors don't take me seriously just because my medical record is so darn thick. A very rude doctor told me a few years ago my medical records were so thick, as thick as the medical records of a 75 year old. Well, thank you... sure as heck I'm not coming to your office just because I like it or anything like that! I thought to myself... what a moron. Some doctors can be that moronic.
 
You should not feel like a whinger when you are talking to your doctor, after all he is paid to take care of you !. Also if they are "true friends" they will be full of understanding, and grateful that they are not suffering as you do. Therefore please do not feel like "Debbie Downer".
 
Does anyone else feel like Debbie Downer when they talk about their symptoms to people who aren't affected by fibro/other chronic illnesses?

Even when I talk to my doctor about how I am feeling, I worry that I am just coming across like some big whiner, or a big hypochondriac just looking for drugs. He doesn't treat me that way (thank goodness) but I can't help but shake the feeling. And goodness...when I talk about the symptoms I have during a flare to my "normal" friends, I just feel like I'm being such a downer (though that's not at all my intention.)

Am I just nuts, or do y'all feel this way, too?

For sure I feel that way! You are nuts. What is also difficult for me is believing MYSELF at times. When I am having a good week or *gasp* a good month, I start second guessing my decision to apply for SSI. Until the next flare comes and I realize that this is real. :-(
 
For sure I feel that way! You are nuts. What is also difficult for me is believing MYSELF at times. When I am having a good week or *gasp* a good month, I start second guessing my decision to apply for SSI. Until the next flare comes and I realize that this is real. :-(

Oh god I know that second guessing so well - the little voice in my head whispering "see you can do it today are you sure you weren't just faking yesterday?" along with the "maybe it is just psychological and I should just pull myself together" thoughts. It took me 3 or 4 years to stop trying to pull myself together, to accept when my body says stop forcing it to go on is going to make things worse.
How are we supposed to convince others when half the time we cannot even convince ourselves?
 
You should not feel like a whinger when you are talking to your doctor, after all he is paid to take care of you !

My tought! Sometimes I seem to forget they are not there for free, but they keep making those annoyed faces sometimes, the kind of face they make when they think you make too many questions? When you just have made 4 questions!
 
I think we should try to keep a balance, no problem in complaining, after all, what are friends for? But at the same time try not to do it all the time.
 
Yep lol I even bore myself. I just don't talk about it now if I can help it it seems the more u talk the less ppl hear so I tend not to say anything unless someone says what's up or why u walking like that. I also find I don't feel so down if I don't talk about it all the time. Not that u should ever feel u can't . It's just the way I cope and coming on here I can shout and scream and stamp my feet without boring anyone xxxx
 
I struggle with exactly how you feel on a daily basis. It does suck that people think its not real. Because of that, I struggle if it is all in my head. I am incredibly fed up and so damn tired of having to explain myself and how im not lazy, I am not asking for sympathy, I am not looking for excuses, I am not selfish or a heidi hyop.....Thank God my best friend has had 2 back surgeries. At least she knows that there is pain though it is not visible. Ill follow this thread in hopes that all of you fine people will have some words of wisdom. Im sorry that you feel this way but in the same, im glad that someone else does.
 
I hate that feeling! I feel it all the time. So much that I try not to complain anymore to anyone. Even the people who understand!
 
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