Insensitive family members

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Oct 7, 2013
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Diagnosis
02/2004
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Maine
I am just absolutely floored at how insensitive people are, especially my family. Today my Sister in law came over and she is having some health issues herself. She told me that her dr asked her if she had Fibro, and she told him he is the dr he should tell her..Abd then proceeded to tell me that there is no such thing as Fibro per say it is just a dumping ground for people that complain alot.
When I said that is bull she said that there were other diseases that are going on that aren't being looked at because they are just being said it was Fibro. It could be arthritis and on and on she went telling me that one the things that keeps me from being the person that I used to be is all BULL$#@^!
And didn't bat a freaking eyelash. I am hurt and am in no rush to be around her again....
Why are people so damn mean....?
 
I know the feeling. It seems the people who are closest to you, don't support you and it makes it hurt even more because you're not being supported by the ones that should be there for you. THEY just DON'T know how it FEELS! They have no idea. I'm sorry that you are also dealing with this. I don't really have a solution except try to explain to them more about the condition and ask them If millions of others with the SAME symptoms are all wrong too. Just because the medical field doesn't know everything about it, doesn't mean its not a real thing. I hope you find support somewhere. I hope you get to feeling better. Good Luck.
 
I agree, and I think that family members end up saying things they shouldn't because they are family. I bet she wouldn't have said that to her boss if she new her boss had fibro. People do have the ability to have true compassion for anyone they want, but most people never try to understand their own family. They have family prejudices and most tend to revert back to acting like a child when they should be extra sensitive to their loved ones. I'm sorry you had to go through that, and I hope you find someone that is more empathetic.
 
Until they feel the pain themselves they will never understand. Stress causes fibro pain, family cause's stress. Stay away and reduce you pain��
 
It's because they don't understand. It is sad really. They think that we make up this pain, and that isn't fair. It is sort of how men dismiss PMS as in our minds. If they don't experience the pain, they don't think it exists.
 
I have decided to just not deal with this particular family member. She has a ton of health issues herself and I don't ever try and make her feel bad or say that it is all in her mind. I am just think that it is all about her....and I am not playing into her negativity.
Thank you all for your kind words I really needed to know that I am not alone.
 
Hi KirstenDomenech! Sorry to hear you have insensitive family members! I can imagine how mad you felt when your sister in law said all that, I know what it feels like because my sister in law is quite similar. I just hate it when people who knows nothing about fibro start saying this kind of things, so offensive.

The only advice I can give you is to avoid having this kind of conversations with you sister in law, because you will never convince her fibro is real and she will never convince you it isn't. So are better off avoiding any kind of confrontation. You can't really reason with people like that, just hang in there! We all have people like that in our lives, so you are not alone in this :)
 
KirstenDomenech,
I am sorry for the troubles you are having with your family members and friends. This topic is one that is talked about a lot on the forum. It seems that those that do not have fibro, love to make life miserable for those that do, and the pain they cause is usually heartache and mental abuse. I made a reply to this question in another post, so I am adding that link so you can read the replies there and see if any will be helpful to you.
http://www.fibromyalgiaforums.org/forum/moan-complain-vent/22653-too-stressed-words.html

Seems no matter where anyone lives this problem is one that is faced world-wide. :(
 
The biggest fight I ever had with my fiancé was when he said "ever since you got this diagnosis it's all you ever talk about, you don't try to do anything by yourself, you refuse to have a positive attitude, and you aren't fun anymore." I was so hurt that I left the house, turned off my phone, and drove for an hour and a half before turning around to deal with him again. All I could think is how dare you complain about how you're affected! I'm the one with the disease.
But looking back, he was affected as much as I was (he could have expressed it in a nicer way) but our family members have to adjust as much as we do. He's the one who does most of the chores around the house, he carries the groceries in (I'm in charge of carrying the bread), he shovels the snowy driveway by himself, we can't go out late with friends because I need sleep, he's even done my hair for me when my hands hurt and takes off my shoes for me when I get home from work.
Most family members don't know I have this, it's a pain to constantly explain what it is so I just put on a happy face and wait to get home and complain about it to my fiancé. I don't want to admit to everyone that some days I can't bare the simplest of tasks, but those close to me know. They may not know the pain and fatigue I feel, or exactly what it is, but they know that it sucks.
 
I have several family members who think it is all mental or laziness on my part. It has been an uphill battle with them to try and get them to understand. My children have been very supportive though and have been there with me from the beginning. In fact, it was my oldest daughter who pushed me to go to the doctor in the first place. I know it hurts to have your family and friends doubt the seriousness of what is going on. I try to limit my interactions with those family members and do not discuss my condition with them. I find it limits the hurt feelings and misunderstandings.
 
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