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LilyBean

New member
Joined
May 7, 2015
Messages
5
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
09/2011
Country
US
State
Iowa
Hi,

My name is Kim and I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 2011.

I'm seriously panicking about work at the moment and could use some advice. The people in my department know I have fibromyalgia. They don't, however, know the extent. They know I miss days because I'm in some pain and that's it. There's SO much more... I'm having trouble with my memory and vision. I can't focus and my concentration is shot. I feel sick and exhausted ALL the time. It's really wearing me down.

The focus/concentration/memory thing is the big issue right now. My friends and family just laugh it off when I mention problems I'm having, but it's not funny. It's embarrassing. I feel like huge chunks of my vocabulary are just gone. And I actually forget words AS I'm about to say them. I open my mouth and the word is just suddenly gone. Has this happened to anyone else?

It's a huge problem at work. Things have become extremely difficult as my work environment has become more fast paced. I didn't want to lose my job, so I tried to keep it all hidden. Tried to keep up. Recently, I was given a very large project and a very short time frame. I had to know I couldn't do it, but in my head I was thinking "this is something I used to do, so I should be able to do it now." Wrong. I missed my deadline. It was not pretty. Not knowing what else to do, I told my boss ALL that was going on. I figured, at that point, I was either getting fired for incompetence, or for confessing to having trouble doing my job. I had nothing to lose.

She seemed very understanding and split the project between three of us. My stress eased a little. The very next day, she removed me from the project completely. She said it had to be accurate and couldn't risk me making mistakes. I was crushed. In my entire career, I've NEVER been removed from a project. I feel like a complete failure. A stupid failure. I'm seriously depressed and my stress level is back up through the roof.

My hiding days are over. HR now knows. But, again, I downplayed and didn't tell them the extent of things. I'm stressing myself out, and that only makes the problem worse. I'm exhausted, in pain, frustrated and confused. Something needs to give, but I can't afford to lose my job. I don't know what to do.

Has anyone else had trouble at work? What did you do? How have things worked out? I'm open to any and all advice.

I apologize for the long ramble. Thanks for listening!
 
Hi, sorry to hear all you are going through. You said you were diagnosed'd with Fibro in 2011, what are you "taking" for this diagnosis? I got this diagnosed in 1999 at 61 at the tailend of my working years and I've never been as bad as you seem to be. I have taken supps ONLY for the FM stuff and finally got my thyroid "fixed" after a 10 yr long struggle to get help. I know many takes meds for the FM, many take only supps and many I'm sure "mix" things up. Often the meds can do more harm than good, I've seen so much of this in my life...drugs that have harmed.

There is a lot of info out there and there is good info here on the alternatives/treatments section. I think it's a good thing HR knows what you deal with and now to start getting some good help. THere is help to be had and I know many do well managing the FM. Meditation is a huge positive protocol, get into that practice....it works.

I don't have all the answers and we are all different and all work with what we think works for us. Cleaning up diet is huge, getting off gluten, eliminating wheat of all kind....it goes on and on. J

I've come from a forum where I was for about 8 yrs and MOST work with supps on that forum...it's a FM/CFS group and run by a supplement manufacturer.

Then too, many people have other issues going on.

I will be most happy to let you know what has worked for me thru all these years, but not pushing it on anyone...hate to see so many suffer as they seem to.
 
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Hi - I'm taking LOTS of meds... unfortunately. Lyrica has helped me the most. I take the highest dose. I'm still in pain, but I no longer tell people to stop touching me. =) I've tried going off of the Lyrica twice in the last year and both times the pain just became too much. I could deal with it if it were just the pain, but I'm really upset about the memory issues. And I have blurred vision almost all the time. I read that can happen with FM, but I have a hard time accepting it.

My diet is ridiculous... no wheat, barley, rye, eggs, dairy, potatoes, tomatoes, and several other things. I have a lot of food intolerance issues. I read that going off nightshades can help reduce the pain, but I haven't really noticed any difference.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come on here and whine. =) I just don't have anyone around me who can relate. I've spent so much time trying to hide what is going on, that now I've shocked people by suddenly confessing. I didn't mean to, but I'm just so tired of putting on the happy face and saying everything is peachy when it's not. I've never been on a forum before so I thought I'd give it a shot, see if anyone else was going through anything similar. I'm shy by nature, but I get rather brave when I put things in writing. Thus all my rambling. I apologize. =)

I'll work on meditation. I've tried a couple of times, but I just can't seem to get my mind to settle. I'll give it another try.

Thanks for the reply, I appreciate it!
 
Have you dug into your thyroid health? That is so overlooked, so overlooked. You can whine all you want to, but getting to the root is what is needed. Integrative MD's and naturopaths can work wonders....
 
It's been checked a couple of times and I'm always told it's fine. My doctor told me she's always felt there had to be an underlying cause, but everything they check comes back normal.
 
I was told for 10 long miserable years my thyroid was "fine"....but my gut told it was sluggish, I started my journey at 53 or so and finally got on desiccated thyroid at age 63, it was thyroid all along and I knew nothing....but took anti depressants for 10 ugly years. I started to read and talk to many about the thyroid and how it controls so much of our body systems.

Do you have a "gut" feeling your thyroid is sluggish? Thyroid is so so missed and untreated. Good luck, think more about what I'm saying....J
 
Lilybean,
Hi there and welcome to the forum. I truly understand what your going through as I had many of your symptoms and spent years going from doctor to doctor, in search of a cure. I only wanted to get better and go back to working full time. But my condition got worse and I ended up totally unable to work. From what I have read your main problems are related to being over stressed from memory and vision and fast paced work life style. My suggestion to you is pace yourself and when at home totally relax as much as possible. Don't worry about the chores that don't get done right away. Rest often between chores. Drink good water and keep up with a healthy diet.

Also I found getting mental health therapy to be one of the best cures for mental strain and anxiety and depression. Ask around and find someone you feel comfortable with and can confide in. This person can be your sounding board as well as, someone who can teach you coping skills and ways to avoid deep depression.

As for work, that is hard because as you have said they (the boss) knows your condition now and can go easy on you or make life harder. I think she was trying to relieve some of the pressure by dividing the job project, but then should have warned you she was taking you off the project. However, she was thinking like a business woman instead of a friend and did it in a thoughtless way. But so far she is hanging on to you and that is encouraging for keeping your job.

I would suggest you read through the alternative methods and chronic pain and fatigue sections, as well as, the general questions. Ask more questions about anything that comes to mind and please join in with posting. We are very supportive and venting is allowed. My heart goes out to you and I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all go away.

One thing a lot of people mention is not getting restful sleep. For me I had the princess and the pea, (story) effect. My regular mattress felt to hard and I even used a water bed at one time and it was too hard. So my sleep was not restful and I woke up in pain. Then I found and bought a cotton fiber padded mat to lay on my bed under my sheets. These pads, not regular mattress pads, but thick 3-4 inch thick pads, that come in all bed sizes can provide extra cushioning that improves your sleep. They come in twin through king sizes, and are cotton fiber filled or goose feathers, or foam. Any will do the job and can be found at local department stores by doing a web search.

Also if you get leg cramps put a extra lightweight blanket over your legs at night. Relaxation and laughter are good for the soul. Try bubble baths or nice warm showers. Watch funny movies or listen to calming music. Try to get in a short walk and enjoy local nature, in a attempt to push away the worries of each day.

I am glad you found us and hope we can be of some help to you. Count me as a new friend. :)
 
Thank you so much! Your post makes me feel a lot better. I'll definitely try all of the things you've suggested. I know stress is a huge part of the problem, but I just can't seem to calm down. I hate being a whiner, so I don't tell anyone I'm having trouble and then I struggle and end up feeling guilty because I think I'm letting everyone down. And the problem builds.

Sleep is a big issue too. I never get more than four hours of sleep at night. So I'm exhausted all the time. Lately, I've been having a horrible time staying awake at work. I think I'm doing fine and then suddenly I just feel myself drop forward. I'm surprised I don't have my keyboard imprinted on my forehead yet. I've jokingly started referring to these as my narcoleptic moments, but I don't find them funny at all. It's a huge struggle some days. And it's super embarrassing. Plus, I've also had the same trouble you've had with a regular mattress. For two years, I slept on an air mattress because everything else was just too painful. Now I have a couple of the 3-4 inch thick pads you mentioned. They really do help.

I'll try working on finding ways to relax. Thank you again, for everything. It's always good to have new friends. :smile:
 
Jaminhealth,

Thank you for your advice, I really appreciate it! I'm glad you were finally able to find out about your thyroid. It's discouraging that it takes so long for things to get diagnosed. My doctor does a blood test for thyroid. Is there a different test I should ask about?

Take care! :smile:
 
Lily, many of today's doctors only do TSH but the smarter docs do TSH, T3 and T4. Even if "so called normal" one can need thyroid help. My labs were normal for 10 yrs. As I said above. Those numbers sometimes I wonder what good are they. Back in the days before the numbers, docs KNEW when people came in with a Long List of symptoms, it was thyroid.....Most sluggish thyroid symptoms are the same as FM.

It was my OLD osteopath, who called in for Armour, no tests nothing, he knew. NOT most I know do not have the "luxury" of this doc I had, he's gone now but he was an old timer doc like the Dr. Broda Barnes generation of docs....no labs, they knew.

It's so frustrating when I hear so many suffer, I've been there, 10 miserable years of normal labs.

Many docs will not even address Vit D deficiency if one is in Normal range, the range is 20-100 and if a personn is 20 or so, they tell you .. you are normal, in the range...On the D issue, I feel best when my lab got to 80. It was dropped a lot due to surgery, which happens I read and it did for me. I'm working my back back to the higher end.

Again, if you can get to integrative MD and IF you "think" the thyroid is sluggish, you may be able to get better support. And feel better.

Now if you truly think your thyroid is fine, then you need go no further...Stop The THyroid Madness is a great book. Talk to others about thyroid, I did, talked to many people about this issue.
 
Had to laugh, @LilyBean, when you mentioned the key board imprinted in your forehead. I care for my mom who is 88, and by the end of the day I am very tired, many a night I have caught myself just before I hit the key board, or fell out of my chair. Usually, that comes from crowding too much into one day. But you made me smile.....:)
 
Please don't kick yourself when your down! I did that enough for 10 of us. It's not your fault! Your Not Stuiped! The hard part of fibro, is coming to terms with some very, drastic changes,that you can't control. It's an emotional roller coaster, and a journey that can open some real positive changes, because when we slow down, we can hear sence, and feel. That may sound goofy to some.
What helped me was, dig in and study. I have found out some information about myself, that had I been diagnosed in 6th grade, it could of helped my entire juvenile and adulthood, so....maybe there are others here that will be lucky and catch it sooner.
God bless.
 
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