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ShanaEirin

New member
Joined
Nov 24, 2015
Messages
3
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
11/2015
Country
NL
State
GLD
Hi all! I just got diagnosed with Fibromyalgia today, but I've known I have it for a couple months now. It just made sense, with all the vague stupid symptoms I've had for 15 years now... The doctor finally agreed with me today, after I told him EVERYTHING, gave him a list of my symptoms and told him how many hospitals I've been to that were unable to find anything wrong with me.

I used to love to crochet, still do, but now my shoulder hurts all the time, so my physical therapist says I should not crochet when it hurts. Which means that I basically can't crochet at all anymore. I had listened to him, and had started to crochet for like 10 minutes max each day, and I was painfree on my shoulder for a couple of weeks, but last Friday, after not doing anything out of the ordinary, it came back with double the pain.

I am now taking shitloads of painkillers (although not everything the doctor told me to take, becuase it feels a little ridiculous to take 1000mg of paracetamol 3x a day + 220mg of naproxen 2x a day), and I still can't do anything because it HURTS. I am so sick of not being able to finish any crochet projects, I haven't finished anything in over 3 months. I try, I do a little bit of work once in a while, but it goes so slow that I can't enjoy it anymore.

I am sick of complaining of pain (obviously, not just in my shoulder), I'm sick of feeling crazy, whiny and needy. I almost feel like I'm making it all up, even though I rationally know I'm not. I just wanna grab my hook and yarn and crochet until my arm falls off. What does it matter anymore? I'm not gonna get better. My shoulder may stop hurting in a while, but I'm sure something else will start hurting then that might be even more annoying than this shoulder.

I probably won't ever be able to do the job I've been studying hard for for the past 6 years, as I will probably always be in pain somewhere, or I'll just be too tired to do it. Aaah! It's taking forever, I'm fighting to breathe every day, to keep going, to stay positive. I just want to be done with this degree, because it will probably not matter anyway.

Just why am I doing this? Why am I fighting so hard? I seem to only be going backwards physically, and slowing down makes me very frustrated and doesn't seem to be helping with my symptoms anyway.

I just want to be happy again...
 
Welcome,oh we all want to feel happy and care free, I can't sit here and tell you that you are going to be ok ,I wish I could, have u tried heat packs on your shoulders . I'm sure u have. Or put tons of pillows under your elbows that helps me.
Also have a good stretch before u try your crochet .and btw u need better pain killers then u are on my dear.
 
Thanks! The pain actually lessened a little, don't know if it's the bogus pain killers or if it's because I just don't give a crap anymore. I've decided to just crochet. Couldn't take not doing it anymore, it was stressing me out more than the pain would hurt me.

And you know, it being fibromyalgia, I just know there's a big chance it will never heal. So I might just as well enjoy myself... Yeah, I have tried everything already, and when in the past my hip hurt no pain killers would help, so I might just as well not take any of that horrible stuff.

I also know others have it worse than me, but that perspective is hard to see when you feel discouraged... I'll just try to not let it kill me ;)

Bleh, sucks, but I felt a lot better after venting here!
 
Good , that's the only way with this fight and fight some more,if u can keep your head ,then u can deal with the rest somehow.
I'm so pleased u are doing something u love.my mum does it as,well .im hopeless at it lol.but then I'm more into spiritual stuff .that and training my pet rats tricks.
 
It can be so frustrating and overwhelming. I know where you are coming from.
 
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