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Leana

Member
Joined
Jul 21, 2015
Messages
12
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
01/2015
Country
CA
State
Manitoba
last December 2014 I had my neck go out as I was reaching for my purse on the ground, was in such excruciating pain that I couldn't move my neck so I was out of work for a week until it finally started to feel better..which my neck did get better, but the trauma that my body went through with my neck introduced to me fibromyalgia. Of course it was a coue to a few months later that I started to realize I have all sorts of pain everywhere now, and that all of a sudden Im experiencing sleeping problems, extreme anxiety and depression. I was seeing a chiro for my neck at first and also started noticing that by the time I got home, I was all stiff and in pain again. He sent me for blood work had some results come back and that's when he sent me to a rheumatologist and he confirmed I had fibromyalgia but almost seemed like he didn't care to take me seriously

I just don't know how to find a balance between work and my personal life while being in pain all day every day and all night. I work long hours assisting and it physically drains me to the point where I want to have a mental breakdown at work..my boss is trying to push me to have my own chair and bring my own clients and its causing me such intense stress I just want to cry thinking about it because I have such a hard time going home and cooking and cleaning and doing normal people stuff, how am i expected to go out after work and try to build up a clientele when in reality all I want to do is come home and curl up in a ball.

I feel like my pain is so widespread all day every day but the worst pain I have is in my hip, radiates down my legs and lower back too. I get intense ankle pains and wrist pains to the point where I want to chop off my wrist cuz I can't handle the tension in it and the way it feels like it's squeezing tight and so uncomfortable. I could go on forever with a list of all my different pains I experience.

I would have do say that the way I feel sometimes is worse than physical pain. Waking up feeling like I got 0 hours of sleep every single day is so stressful for me. I wake up so unmotivated, in pain, so tired that I feel like Im still sleeping standing up every morning getting ready for work. There are days I wake up and within minutes I'm crying and extremely depressed because of the fact that I hAve to carry on a full day knowing how hard it is going to be on my body.
I put all of my energy into work while I'm at work that some days I don't have any energy to drive my car home... Nevermind cook dinner,clean,laundry and still have enough energy to go out and build clients ?!

I feel like I can't handle life. And Im so embarrassed that at my age im not capable of doing something I know I'm capable of doing if I wasnt in this situation.

my family and friends are supportive, but I know that they will never truly understand what I'm going through.. and I feel helpless because I cant handle my life right now I literally call my mom every day crying hysterically saying I can't handle life it's too much for me. Work is so hard on my body and its so hard for me to go up in my career and I JUST got my red seal which means I'm officially licensed through the government as a hairstylist... And all of a sudden Everyrhing feels like it's going downhill in my career for me. I feel like such s failure.

I need a therapist to talk to everyday because calling my mom like that is so unfair to her.. I know it hurts my mom to see my hurt, and when I think about that, it hurts me even more.

I'm physically and mentally lost.
 
Leana,
I don't have any answers, but oh dear it's really hard for you right now. This is a really hard thing we have to deal with. I just got on this site a few days ago because I feel so alone about it. I don't want to learn to live with it, I want my life back. I am focusing on my sleep right now, not successfully mind you but I am looking and trying things. If I can get a good nights sleep then the next day is so much better. Right now sleep is illusive. Leana, I feel your pain and am sending love. hang in there, it gets better, it has to. It absolutely has to.
 
Ok .firstly have u been given anything from your Dr for your pain.if not go and ask. If u have it clearly isn't working and u need to ask for something new . And ask about pain killers.
U need to take a spot back and take on one day at a time. It can take along time to get the meds right .the sleep right .and the work load right.
Ask the Dr if u can have someone to talk to,
Getting so upset u cry and rant will make your pain worse,and yes we all been there.
It does get better look it will be different but u will have a life. Being u do hair u could go solo and be mobile maybe. That why u could pick and chose your hours .
 
Thanks for the reply kater & forgetmenot,

I just have to first start by saying that ever since I recently joined this site, I've felt more reassured and not so alone in this. It's really hard having an illness that no one else you know has or possibly even heard of ! At first I thought I was going to be alone in this forever, but now coming on this site daily makes me feel like im not the only one struggling with this and its been making me understand my fibro so much more. everythjng everyone's tslks about on this site, I can 150% relate to if it's fibro. It's amazing to think we all feel the same symptoms and pain and we all go through the same daily struggle but just at different levels or intensities.

I had an extreme melt down this morning, of course work once again was the trigger.. Had my last final straw and decided to call my doctor and see her after work today, pretty much told her how work has been making me feel and how right now at this point in time in my life I can't handle my job physically and that it's the reason why I'm spiralling downhill emotionally. She right away wrote me up a note for sick leave through employment insurance and has me off work for 15 weeks (max time) due to health reasons. She also suggested I see a psychologist with all the feelings I told her I've been experiencing lately which I feel will be good for me.

As for medications, I will do anything and eberything to avoid starting to take them at such a young age. My doctor did mention lyrica or cymbalta but I told her that I personally would like to try everything else first and resort to those medications last. I am not against prescription drugs by any means... To each their own.. I just had rough past with pills and drugs so I'd rather stay away from addictive medications.

My doctor was very understanding and wrote me up a list of vitamins and suppliments for me to take daily to help cope with pain, anxiety, depression and even sleep.. Not saying that it's going to magically make all of it go away and make us feel pain free, but I'm sure it will definitely help alleviate the pain and make it more tolerable, I am excited to try these out ! She suggested ...

B12 vitamin

Omega 3

Vitamin D

B5

Tryptophan ( pretty much protein.. Chicken, meats, tofu, cheese, eggs, etc.) also comes in suppliment form

5-HTP suppliments

I hope everyone is having a decent day, and i thank everyone's whose responded to me for their support, it means so much to me. I can appreciate that we all feel the same pain and we are all here for one another. Sending much love to everyone


Thanks , leana
 
Hey girl! My name is Victoria and I'm 24 and was just diagnosed 2 weeks ago. I definitely understand how defeating it is to be this age and feel so sick. The pain that you describe in your hips that radiate, I have the exact same pains! If you ever need someone to talk to I'm always here! I hope you've had a great day!
 
leana,

the lyrica and cymbalta are nerve blockers. they block the signals to the brain that say send pain here.
your muscles constantly sends msg to say send pain here.

by blocking some of those msgs you will experience less pain and in less areas of your body.
it's up to you what you put in your body. remember, its all about a quality of life and how you function day to day.
you can always try them and see if they help. if they dont help within 4-6 weeks then change them to ones that do help.
always read the med guide that comes with the meds. talk to the pharmacist first. they know meds and are not given kick backs
like the doctors get from the big pharmaceutical companies.

continue as you are or get some kind of relief. its up to you.

BTW i didnt see magnesium in your list above. you say Vit D,you need 50,000 units a day of that.not 5,000.

learn from your pharmacy then make an informed decision on the quality of life you want to live from here on.
 
Leana,
I was diagnosed fibro three years ago, when I was 25,be sure it is possible to reconstruct your life,to change some priorities in it and move forward despite this illness. I am sure we all do our best. Just try to find something that bring you joy daily. Don't fix on this feeling of " I can't live with it!". Begin to do small steps,be gentle with yourself! You are not alone!
Hugs!
 
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