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Lana

Senior member
Joined
Apr 6, 2014
Messages
223
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
05/2012
Country
CA
State
ON
Anger at..... The pain and the exhaustion. The fibro fog that makes me look like I have Dementia. The longing to go back to work but knowing that its impossible. The feeling of being useless. The days my mind and body fight, my mind wants to do everything and my body says NO WAY!! Fighting to get disability only to be denied again. Doctors lack of empathy! Always having to justify my reasons for cancelling with friends and family. Trying to get understanding and empathy from the ones who think I'm just a lazy person. The laying in bed not being able to fall asleep. The Loneliness of watching life going on around me. The way I am in isolation in the freezing Canadian winter temperatures. The grieving over the loss of myself. The roller-coaster ride of emotions. One day you can do things but the next day you pay for it. My new years wish for 2018 We get the help and the compassion we deserve. We all get disability when we can no longer function at work. We all get Doctors who really care and not look at you as being a pain in the ass to them. We can all be entitled to Medical Marjwanna if we choose to go that route. We all get free counseling on coping skills. We all have Family and Friends who love us and help us and most importantly EVERYONE BELIEVES US!! NO MORE SHAME FOR BEING SICK!
 
I couldnt have put it better.

I spent the whole of Xmas and New Year in bed with an apple and cheese for my Xmas lunch. I don't want sympathy at all..this illness just is the pits and i wish they could find the reasons why and more importantly better treatments that actually worked or oh how amazing but i think unrealistic at the moment i wish for us all to have a cure!

I am grieving all over again these last 3 years since my condition has continued to progress more and more. It was bad enough the first 7 years making huge adaptions and limiting my activities but at least i could do things even if i paid afterwards.

Thanks for the post Lana...i dont think i have seen you on here before although you have done over 200 posts.
 
Yes I am mostly on the Facebook Fibro warriors which is really nice talking to friends on there. Thank you for responding and I'm so sorry you had to spend christmas in bed. That is heart breaking! Stay strong hun you are not alone xo
 
Anger at..... The pain and the exhaustion. The fibro fog that makes me look like I have Dementia. The longing to go back to work but knowing that its impossible. The feeling of being useless. The days my mind and body fight, my mind wants to do everything and my body says NO WAY!! Fighting to get disability only to be denied again. Doctors lack of empathy! Always having to justify my reasons for cancelling with friends and family. Trying to get understanding and empathy from the ones who think I'm just a lazy person. The laying in bed not being able to fall asleep. The Loneliness of watching life going on around me. The way I am in isolation in the freezing Canadian winter temperatures. The grieving over the loss of myself. The roller-coaster ride of emotions. One day you can do things but the next day you pay for it. My new years wish for 2018 We get the help and the compassion we deserve. We all get disability when we can no longer function at work. We all get Doctors who really care and not look at you as being a pain in the ass to them. We can all be entitled to Medical Marjwanna if we choose to go that route. We all get free counseling on coping skills. We all have Family and Friends who love us and help us and most importantly EVERYONE BELIEVES US!! NO MORE SHAME FOR BEING SICK!

All of the above is something we all can idenify with. Hang in there.
 
Well said Lana! I can completely identify with everything you said. I hope and pray one of these days for some empathy and understanding at least. x
 
I can identify too x
 
Anger at..... The pain and the exhaustion. The fibro fog that makes me look like I have Dementia. The longing to go back to work but knowing that its impossible. The feeling of being useless. The days my mind and body fight, my mind wants to do everything and my body says NO WAY!! Fighting to get disability only to be denied again. Doctors lack of empathy!

I sooo feel your anger and pain. Every day....but even more today. I finally made it to a doctor today (after 4 years), I had a full blown panic attack despite my anxiety pills, so it was very embarrassing. Then explaining my complaints of pain, fatigue, fibro diagnosis, severe mental issues (incl. my first suicide attempt at age 15), guess what the doctor says?

You should start working again, it will do you good.

Really? Really? Don't you realize, having talked about my high level of education and 15 year employment history, that I would do everything in order to work again? That I tried everything; medication, therapy, pushing through and through....but my body will not. It simply will not. Don't you see how the loss of my job, my career is such a sensitive issue? I lost a HUGE part of me, of my independence, of my ego, of what defines me - the part that most likely will never return. I feel useless, worthless, hopeless. Thanks doctor for making me realize all that with that one 'simple' comment. Like I needed another reminder of my pathetic life. As if, all of this is a choice.......
 
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