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Hannah

Member
Joined
Dec 24, 2014
Messages
15
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
12/2014
Country
US
State
AR
Is life really this hard?! Do you go around feeling cute puppies, and smiling sunflowers? Where did the simple times go? Where did the direction manual go? There use to be a joy at waking up. The nice routines of a morning. Talking to your young children who were happy to see you. Catching a couple kisses from your true love. Heading out to a job that was challenging yet rewarding. You made a difference. Around the dinner table everyone was happy to share about their day. Put the kids to bed and get a quicky in the shower. What happened to love being enough and it could be counted on?

Now my day revolves around dealing with pain. Getting out of bed by 9 :30am is a great feeling and is a great way to start the day. My husband is lucky if I am coherent enough to wake up at 4am to help get him out the door. I look at the pile of laundry ever getting better. We have switched over to paper plates long a go. Is it time for another pain pill? Please let my pill box say it is. What happened to days of friends? The majority of them I don't even bother calling. It's to much effort. What would you say anyway? I feel like crap and they just say vet dressed and go for a walk and you''ll feel better. Or you look fine. My only friends are the ones I find right here. My husband cones home to a dirty house. And me stoned. My son was taken away to his biological father because I became to sick to care for him. I feel so worthless. And the sad thing is I am alone in this, my husband doesn't get it. He has been better here lately. You can expect to much from a guy that works 10 plus hours a day. The guilt for me is crushing.

Any thoughts? I would love to have some feed back.
Thanks.
 
hello, learn how to reduce you pains. learn about fibrimyalgia.
read my post under general discussions what is fibromyalgia.
there is a clothespin technique you can use.
 
Now listen to me ,what I'm going to tell u not a lot of ppl no, and soon half the world well.
I have four children and for the last 7 years my older three have lived with there dad.its not the end. I have learned in these very painful years that I love my kids so much that. Being in pain has to come a second when there with me.i have learned to treat every hour with them like its my last.
My kids love me so very much and I love them more then I though I could ever love them. Because it's true u don't no what u got to u lose it.
Now the happy part. For what ever reason a mother has to not have her child in her life doesn't mean your not a mum.its dosent the mean u can't be a good mum.
It doesn't mean u will lose the love from your child.
If u still see your son then u make it work for the hours u do.its hard it's painful it's heartbreaking . But u never let Fibro take everything from u .
Your son wants to see u smile.he wants a hug he wants u to listen ,all the same things he did when he was with you. U can do all of these.
U can show interest in school in his hobbies u can talk.and believe me when I tell u most of what my kids wanted was to talk to me, and for me to listen to what they had to say.
This doesn't involve movement dancing or hoping on one leg,u can do this.
My oldest son works now has a nice little home and a job he loves.he is a well balanced young man.his 19
My younger son is working with his dad is as sharp as a tac and is again a balanced young man his 17.
My oldest daughter is 14 she's gentle funny and her art work is out of this world she's the top of her grades for art.
Now before u jump to the conclusion that me and her dad get on ,he hasn't spoken to me for 5 years flat.
His girlfriend is a step mum from hell .as far as my kids tell me.
The point I'm making is being a mum.Or dad for that matter is not about a perfect home perfect parents .its about love.
You are unwell and not In a good place to take care of him right now.and even if your never well enough doesn't mean u can't be a huge part of his life.
Ask my three children who I had while I was married ,who are they closer to me or there dad.and they will all say mum.
It's not a competition ,it's just I have time to stop and listen where most parents are just trying to get through the day.
So dry some of them tears put on your armour and use what u do have .love and time.xxxx
 
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