Old 12-23-2013, 04:03 AM #1
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Default My Secret

My pain and suffering has been a secret. Few people know what I am and have gone through. I have sucked it up for years and have spent time alone crying only to wipe my eyes and pretend that all is well. Because I try so hard, you'd never know that I have fibromyalgia. Most people don't know. If they did, they'd question it anyway. I guess that my silence really just saves me grief. If I talk to my family about it, it is too uncomfortable for them to hear how much suffering I have/am enduring, so I find myself consoling them instead of the other way around. So, I just keep quiet. One of the things I do is avoid spending too much time in social situations. I can't keep up with it. I work (still) and take care of my family and lots of times that is way more than I can do, but I do it. I'm sure lots of folks think I'm a bit_h, or at least cranky. Being in a good mood is not the easiest with this. One thing I have learned is that you can never judge a book by its cover. There is no way to tell what someone is going through in their personal lives and this illness has taught me to not judge people, but to be kind to them even if they can not find it themselves to be kind to me. My secret is out...I am suffering, I am scared, I am tired. I wish I was also done with it. But, I know that this is a marathon. I just don't want it to be. I shocks me that I have been chronically ill for almost 10 years! WTF!?

OK...got that off my chest. I DO have a lot of hope and hope is what keeps me going. That and I love my husband and kids! They'll never really know what I am going through and quite frankly I don't want them to. This is just too much so why share it with them? OK...thanks for letting me throw a "pitty party".
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Old 12-23-2013, 08:38 PM #2
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Default Re: My Secret

Diamondgirl,
Welcome to the forum and you can throw a pity party anytime you want. I think most families just don't get it because they can not see anything is wrong just by looking at us. And because we have to do for ourselves most of the time because why should they help us when nothing is wrong or we are labeled lazy. I usually just grit my teeth and keep pushing forward, because if I don't do it nothing gets done. I am sure that this is what you do or try to do as well.

Anyways, as you read through the forum you will find lots of coping skills and ways we all help ourselves get through the days and try to relax in the most meaniful ways so that we feel good part of the time. Please post more and ask any questions and our members will help you with whatever symptoms your facing. Glad you found us and looking forward to hearing more from you.
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Old 12-23-2013, 11:53 PM #3
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Default Re: My Secret

Diamond girl, so sorry to hear you are going tru this. Having fibro isn't easy at all, I deal with it as well... but in the last years my hormones have been affected. I can say all this has changed me for good, now, just like you, I try not to judge people like I did before. I'm sure a lot people judges me, but I don't care. I know what I'm going tru, and I know I'm doing my best!

You are so admirable You rather keep the secret from your family... so they don't worry, that's so noble of you. I know how shocking and sad it can get sometimes, I know because I experience this often. Sadly no one will really get it, and is actually better not to say a word sometimes. I learnt this the hard way, now I rarely talk about my health issues with my family or boyfriend. I think you are doing the right thing! You have ALL the right to be cranky, and rest assured the people who think you are cranky all the time would still think that about you even if they knew you have fibro. Believe me. So don't worry, I actually applaud what you are doing Very noble and smart.
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Old 12-28-2013, 12:42 AM #4
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Default Re: My Secret

I'm so glad you could share your secret with us. Like you, I have learned to keep some things to myself and to watch with whom I share certain things. Some people can't be trusted with the truth. I am grateful to have family and friends who do try to understand what I'm going through, but I'm glad we can be here for each other for those times when we can't share our secrets with those in our "real" lives.
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Old 12-29-2013, 01:30 PM #5
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Default Re: My Secret

My family knows I was diagnosed with fibro, but I don't let them know how much it hurts and what I deal with daily. My kids of course do not understand but they are only 4, 6, and 8. It is nice to have this group to "vent" to and express how you really feel without feeling guilty about it and without being judged. I hope your venting here has helped you.
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