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walrusgumbo

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I have a friend over a few hours a week (we have a weekly gaming group). I don't really form a major part of her treatment. She's been having trouble, and it flares up. I know she's a bit self-conscious about it. I don't fully understand Fibromyalgia, but I have problems of my own and I'm more than happy to be accommodating. I'm not around her enough to consider myself 'part of her treatment'. I can't, for example suggest yoga or stretching or changes to her diet (frankly, it's none of my business and I'm not about to start giving *advice*).

Skip the last part if you like, here is my question:

Are there any small changes I could make to the environment that would make things better? Are there any changes that would make things much *worse*? I know her symptoms are worse in the winter, could making the room a little warmer/brighter/more humid help out? Could I perhaps serve tea, or prepare a proper food?

The most important part of it is that I don't want it to look like I'm doing it for her. I really don't want to call any attention to it.
 
Having a warm heart, a warm welcome, and a warm house (or blankets conspicuously available) are all excellent ways of helping. Other brainstorm ideas:

If your gaming group does snacks, make some extra (healthy) snacks and encourage everyone (including your friend) to take some home. There are days that I'm too exhausted to fix anything at all, and having a healthy snack I could eat later would be a huge help.

Make sure there is plenty to drink. Dehydration makes everything worse.

Have somewhere comfortable to sit. A hard folding chair can be unforgiving to achy muscles, so having a cushion helps. One thing that is extremely helpful to me is a foot stool so that I can elevate my legs. My recliner is my home!

The most important thing, though, is what you're already doing: providing a fun social gathering time, caring about her, and not giving advice. Keep up the good work. You're a good friend.
 
I agree with Corvid, 100 percent. You might also invite her to join this forum. Everyone is welcome, fibro does not totally rule the day and she might learn some new coping skills that would help her feel better.

The best part is she is lucky to have a wonderful friend like you to be there for her and offer to lend a helping hand. Most of us with fibro have few friends we can count on and so your a big plus in my book. I am glad you care enough to want to make your friend comfortable and warm in your home.

By the way welcome to the forum! :)
 
Hi!

I think it is very nice of you to be so considerate! My mother has fibro so I try to make sure my home is very comfortable for her when she comes to visit. She enjoys it when my home is very bright! She says that dark rooms can be very depressing for her. So, if I could suggest anything it would be to make sure your home is bright and cheery. These small things may help your friend to feel happier and cheerful.

Also, I would recommend that you have a portable fan or a small fan handy so your friend can use it if she gets too warm. My mother gets hot a lot so she likes it when I give her a small fan or she likes to be able to adjust the ceiling fan to meet her needs. Its awesome that you care so much about making sure your friend is comfortable!

Best Wishes!
Missy Bea
 
Skip the last part if you like, here is my question:

Are there any small changes I could make to the environment that would make things better? Are there any changes that would make things much *worse*? I know her symptoms are worse in the winter, could making the room a little warmer/brighter/more humid help out? Could I perhaps serve tea, or prepare a proper food?

The most important part of it is that I don't want it to look like I'm doing it for her. I really don't want to call any attention to it.

You sound like the best friend someone could ever have :) Your friend is so lucky to have you!

As for your question... everyone is different when it comes to fibro. Some people like need to have a comfy place to sit. Make your place as comfy as possible :) My boyfriend bought several things for his room (many huge pilows and cushions) because he knows I suffer from chronic back pain and can't sit for too long. She'd really thank you for that :)

As for food... the healthier the snack the better ;) Eating healthy foods is never a bad thing. Try to get some gluten-free snacks. Some fresh fruit is always nice :)
 
walrusgumbo, interesting name. your too kind. may it come back to you x3.

just wanted to remind everyone that smells can be a problem also. perfumes, candles, room freshners, fabric softner. i used to see a counselor that asked me not to wear freshly laundered cloths, perfume, hair products, etc. the day i'd see her. hopefully your friend would speak up if something was bothering her that much.
 
I think that the best thing that you can do for your friend is to make sure that she is warm when she is at your house. I know that cold causes a lot of people to have flare ups. In addition to that, just letting her know that you are there for her if she needs someone to talk to is important as well.
 
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