Sex and Fibro

I have days when I hurt too much, or that I am just too exhausted to have sex, especially after a long day. By the time bedtime arrives, I am often totally just ready to fall asleep. Even though I am almost 70, I really still enjoy having sex, and my husband is a great partner, so we have adapted to having sex earlier in the day, before I am worn out, and on days when I am not hurting a lot.
We don't have sex as often as we used to be able to do it, but at least it is still happening, and we both enjoy it. I always am so exhausted afterwards, that I will usually just take a nap, but that is okay, too.

Oh god Yeh. Late sex is definitely out for me for the same reasons. Very much morning before I've had chance to get worn out. I think it important in our pain and exhaustion filled world to make our supporting partner feel loved sexy and special once in a while, after all, they have to live with our conditions too.

My husband left me for someone else, so now I am not getting any, but when he was there we had a good sex life. Not great, as sometimes I did not feel up to it, but I truly enjoyed it. Like someone said above, I found that, for a short time, the sex let me feel no pain. Even if was for a really brief time.

I do not have any meds I can take for my fibro, as I have no health insurance, so, if even for 5 minutes to have an orgasm make my pain go away, it was so worth the exhaustion I felt later.

Now I have no idea how I will ever sex again. Not many men going to take a chance on a woman with all that ails me now.

I too find it very hard the majority of the time only because my skin, body hurts to even have clothes on, lay on the bed, touch etc. and i to feel inadequate as well as in my case i have sever Inflammation unknown as to why yet but my husband is gone a awful lot so i don't get the other things in my life such as cuddle time etc. so i totally understand from some one who enjoyed sex more than anything in my down spiral that my life has had for sure.

TinaL said:

A few weeks ago I posted a question about pain in the private parts because my husband and I have not made love in over a year and it is frustrating. Between the pain and fatigue I do not know how others manage but my husband and I cuddle and not much else. Like you, I feel inadequate and like a bad wife. My husband is very understanding and says we will do what we can when we can.

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Hi to you, I too have not had sex with my husband for about 4 years, I have had Fibro since 2002, the last time we made love I started bleeding so I went to my GP who sent me to a Gynacologist and was told that my vaginal walls are very thin and having sex tears them. I am so lucky my husband is wonderful, we have been married for 43 wonderful years and he is so understanding. I know I am very lucky and that there are people worse off than me, so I try to stay cheerful. My doggies also bring me great joy.
Gentle Hugs
Toots

Happyflowerlady said:

I have days when I hurt too much, or that I am just too exhausted to have sex, especially after a long day. By the time bedtime arrives, I am often totally just ready to fall asleep. Even though I am almost 70, I really still enjoy having sex, and my husband is a great partner, so we have adapted to having sex earlier in the day, before I am worn out, and on days when I am not hurting a lot.
We don't have sex as often as we used to be able to do it, but at least it is still happening, and we both enjoy it. I always am so exhausted afterwards, that I will usually just take a nap, but that is okay, too.

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I admire the way you handle things and make the best out of a not so good situation. When I began reading your post I wanted to suggest 'early in the day sex' but I see you have it all worked out. Even if you are exhausted afterwards i am sure you also feel better in many ways

When I was first diagnosed with MS, my husband and I had a difficult time adjusting. We had a healthy, regular sex life, although I never really had a very strong sex drive. I was having problems with low back pain, urination that required self catheterization, and sensation issues to my pelvic area then add in the stress that they didn't know what was wrong with me for 15 months and several doctors told me it was all in my head, so I was very stressed. All of those combined meant that we didn't have sex for quite a while. We actually went to see a sex therapist for a few months. She was very helpful. She made us realize that we needed to view our sex life differently. It needed to be come our intimate life and not our sex life. Since we started having kids, we have had to plan our sex each week or it just didn't happen-spontaneity is over rated. Now we plan our intimate time. It can be anything from cuddling naked together, all the way to having sex. I've been on cymbalta for pain control and it keeps me from having an orgasm, but sometimes I still enjoy sex even without the orgasm. I think when you have a chronic illness you just have to change your perspective on many things in your life, including your sex life. Many people don't think about that part of their life needing to change too,but it changes a lot. Many relationships can't handle the change in the sexual life. I am grateful to have such a wonderful and understanding husband who has been patient with me over the years. His needs have been greater than mine and I'm not sure I'm always sensitive to that when I am in pain or having an MS flare.

The biggest problem for me is when my girlfriend tries to initiate things I usually flinch. She sees this rejection so things could be better.

True story. I just posted one about this very subject. It is hard for me to navigate sexual activity. Does lack of moisture go along with fibro because it is a biggie with sjogrens, in which your moisture producing glands attack your own body. Thirsty and every portion of your body that should have moisture, does not! As the commercial says, Dryness is sexy---NOT.

This sucks! I hope it is temporary but it doesn't sound like it. I am not ready to give up sex!