anyone else trying to conceive with FMS/CFS?

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Lyndsey

Active member
Joined
Dec 18, 2014
Messages
89
Reason
DX FIBRO
Diagnosis
04/2014
Country
CA
State
British Columbia
Hi everyone,

my husband and I have been trying to conceive for about a year now. I was diagnosed with FMS/CFS about 8 months ago, but know for sure I have had it for many years. I have been coping relatively well while trying to conceive, until today I had a total emotional breakdown when I found out the same day that 2 of my closest friends were pregnant.

Has anyone experience the same thing or something similar and how did you cope? I am trying my absolute best to be the same supportive friend I have always been, but I am emotionally finding it very tough. On top of all my symptoms from my fibro, the constant disappointment of not becoming pregnant is killing me. I am currently seeing a fertility doc and all seems normal so far.

I feel so sad right now and just looking for some words of encouragement I guess or someone that can relate.

I thought maybe this was off topic for the forum so I apologize, just didn't know where to turn.

Lyndsey

Good thoughts and prayers out to everyone...
 
Hello Hun.well it take the normal couple about a year so pls don't stress. The more u stress the longer it can take.i had two boys two years apart when I started trying for number three it took 3 years. I then went 13 years before we wanted one last child and I took 8 months and miscarriage. It then took another year before I fell for my little one. So u see nothing is as easy as it sounds.even if your friends fell first time.beilive it or not there is a thing for trying to hard.sex isn't sex anymore it's a job. Try taking the pressure off a bit. And trust me when you got a little one your wish u had enjoyed your free time when u had it lol.
 
thanks so much for the comforting words I appreciate it a lot. I know I need to take the pressure off and relax. I wish I was better at that ! I will do my best thanks again xo

Lyndsey
 
Hi Lyndsey,
I just went through exactly what you have. I was trying for months and found out within days that my two best friends were pregnant. I too was upset by the news and I think it is a natural reaction for those in our situation. I gave myself a little time and space from those friends (luckily we are long distance so that was doable without be obvious) and I started to have a better perspective about it after a few weeks. I started seeing a fertility doc and we happened to get pregnant without her help. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone or wrong in what you are feeling! Give yourself some time. Good luck!
 
Thanks for your post. Definitely nice to talk to people in the same situation. Congrats on your pregnancy. I am praying that things work out for me, I find it difficult not only coping with fibro/CFS but this on top of it is an emotional roller coaster. Trying to constantly be supportive and happy for other people is hard at times. Did you end up getting testing done through fertility doc? I am going for an HSG test tomorrow.
 
I completely understand the emotional roller coaster you mentioned. It is very hard when you already aren't feeling well because of fibro/CFS to have something else to deal with. I think this is something that friends/family can't understand. I just joined this forum and I am finding it helpful that I am not alone in what I am experiencing.

My situation with the fertility doctor is probably somewhat unique. I have a history of endometrosis and ovarian cysts. I was in a lot of pain while trying to get pregnant. They weren't sure if the pain was fibro or endometriosis so I had an exploratory surgery scheduled that we ended up not needing. I don't know about you, but I felt more reassured once I had appointments scheduled with the fertility doc. It felt good that we were trying to move in the right direction.

Do you mind me asking...are you using ovulation predictor kits? Since I often don't feel well, I found it helpful to know when it was really important to try. Also, I just read good things about Stork OTC, not sure if that is available in Canada.

I hope your testing went well and you are getting some answers!
 
Hi Boston617 :)

thanks for your post hopefully you get this message I tried sending you a private message still cant figure out this site sometimes! I have been using ovulation prediction kits every month for over a year. We recently went through a bunch of fertility tests. So far everything with me is normal, however my husbands motility is extremely low as well his count isint great. I dont get it cause he has 2 kids from a previous marriage. I am so frustrated. Also, I had exploratory surgery a few years ago as they thought i had endo, but it turned out the samples were negative so they were unsure.

It is so hard emotional roller coaster between this, being off work, feeling guilty about that and being in constant pain. Recently a friend of mine asked me how I expect to take care of a baby if I am in constant pain all the time. I found that a little hard to hear, but it doesnt change the fact that I want a family of my own so badly.

The doctor said that they are doing more testing on my husband before recommending anything so we will see. He did mention invitro.....But that is so expensive and scares me a bit.

Have you conceived yet or are you still trying?

Hope your doing ok,

Lyndsey xo
 
Hi Lyndsey,
You have both CFS and FMS and are trying to get pregnant? Have you talked to a therapist and your doctors about this? Having a child made my FMS and CFS far worse. Taking care of an infant is not easy and just being pregnant was a toll on my body. I know this is hard to hear but you may be not conceiving for a reason like you are not ready yet. If it is meant to happen it will, until then just try to enjoy the good moments you have. Many hugs to you!
Vellybean
 
Vellybean, I disagree 'If it is meant to be, it will happen'. I think it is insensitive to say to someone who is trying to conceive. Maybe you didn't mean it to be but it can be very hurtful to someone trying to conceive. It is analogous to saying to someone with fibro 'If your fibro is meant to feel better, it will happen'. We know that both with infertility and fibro, there are medications and other treatments that can help someone. I agree that those of us with fibro have a lot more to think about when deciding to have a child versus someone without pain problems. :) But to imply that it might be why someone isn't conceiving is wrong.
 
Hi again,

thanks again for the posts. Boston def hit the nail right on the head. We do need to think more about the future and having children because of our illness's, and how to manage that. But it really doesn't change how badly I want it to happen, and want a family. I already have two step kids and love them, but having a child of my own would be that much more special to me to experience that. I have been told by the doctor that it is not the cause for me not conceiving. So i think that is a positive sign anyways.

I will continue to pray about this and for everyone going through struggles right now.

xo Lynds
 
Just keep trying! No in all seriousness, the best advice I have is to stop thinking about trying and just relax and enjoy. My hubby and I ultimately just stopped using protection and just being spontaneous and enjoying ourselves and after about a year or so of this we were pregnant. There were a few close friends who found out they were pregnant before us and there was a hint of jealousy from me but then I thought that's ok because even if it takes a little while longer we are having quite a bit of fun right now not having to deal with condoms and such.

I will say that while I was pregnant I was a complete disaster emotionally. I reduced my anti depressants gradually just to remove some of the risks for baby but knew I couldn't go off completely. But yes I was the most irrational, grumpy, don't even talk to me wife ever.

I hope you will be blessed with a baby soon but if your body is not able to handle it please don't be too upset. No matter which way a child enters your life they are always special!
 
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Thanks so much for your post that is very encouraging. Hope you are doing well tonight xoxo
 
Vellybean, I disagree 'If it is meant to be, it will happen'. I think it is insensitive to say to someone who is trying to conceive. Maybe you didn't mean it to be but it can be very hurtful to someone trying to conceive. It is analogous to saying to someone with fibro 'If your fibro is meant to feel better, it will happen'. We know that both with infertility and fibro, there are medications and other treatments that can help someone. I agree that those of us with fibro have a lot more to think about when deciding to have a child versus someone without pain problems. :) But to imply that it might be why someone isn't conceiving is wrong.


I do not feel this is insensitive to say at all. To me it is realistic. I have two adult children and my fibro got far worse after having each of them. There is also a lot of stress involved. We do know stress sets off our fibro. I was giving my perspective of what it was like to have children and fibro. I was saying that if it is meant to happen it will. Meaning stop worrying and enjoy your life and just maybe it will happen naturally. I was not implying it is the reason it has not happened. I am sorry if it came across insensitive. It was not meant to.
 
Hi Vellybean,

oh I totally understand what you meant by your post and I am not offended at all. I understand the risks for sure and the chance that this could make things worse for me. I just want a family of my own so badly, and I am scared to death that it isint going to happen. I will just keep praying.

We just found out that my husband has a low count and motility so I am hoping that we can figure that out and do something about it. Its all just added stress which as you all know does not help the fibro at all. Anyways, lol I know this isint a fertility forum so I will stop talking about this stuff and stick to the topics!

Thanks for your encouraging posts everyone. xoxoxo

Lynds
 
Hi Lynds,

I am glad to hear they found that out about your hubby. It can be frustrating when you are trying so hard. I know, for me, it happened when I just relaxed and stop trying. It took me three years to conceive my first son. Much love and hugs to you!

Velly
 
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